Recovery and Relapse

Part Three of V- The L.A. Chronicles. (Section 3 of 3)

by Jackie Newman

jacalynsue@zoominternet.net

The monotony of guard duty on a moonless night was disrupted by the sound of an approaching car. Martin moved into the darkest shadows and unholstered his laser pistol. When the vehicle came into view, he noticed that the headlights were off. Even more worrisome was the fact that the two-door hatchback was headed directly for him. Kneeling, he kept the driver’s outline in his sights and prepared to fire. 

The vehicle’s interior lights came on and Martin recognized Paul sitting behind the steering wheel, with Darlene in the front passenger seat. Relieved, he stood up and moved to the large door. He slid it open and motioned for Paul to drive inside, then closed it securely behind them.

“Stand guard,” he heard Paul tell Darlene as they both got out of the car. Darlene avoided any eye contact with Martin as she walked past, though she did willingly go outside to keep watch. 

Paul watched her go, wishing he could have left her behind. But she had been the only one who knew where Martin’s group was located, so he had been forced to bring her along. Right now, though, there were more important things to worry about. He discarded that issue from his mind and turned to Martin. “We have a problem --one too sensitive to mention on the radio.”

Candy climbed out of the back seat and pulled her indecently short skirt back into place as she looked around. “Is there anyplace we can sit down? This could take awhile.”  She bent over and slipped off her stiletto-heeled shoes, preferring to walk barefoot on the cold pavement. Paul shook his head at her, and she smiled up at him before following Martin towards the other end of the building. Discussions of the women’s footwear were familiar to both of them.

Kim was sitting on the end of the couch with her feet tucked underneath her, wrapped in a blanket. She glanced up when she heard them approach and set aside her book in surprise. “Paul? Candy? What’s wrong?” 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Martin asked.

Kim pointed to the basket where the twins were sleeping. “Tell them.” The two infants had taken turns keeping her up, and she had finally given up on sleeping for the time being. She saw Paul watching her with a rather incredulous look and she nodded confirmation that she was Karen.

Candy claimed one of the chairs, resisting the temptation to fuss over the infants she had glimpsed sleeping in the basket. There were more pressing matters at hand. “The resistance is doing a terrible job keeping information confidential,” she began while Martin and Paul seated themselves. “Which is how I got this information in the first place. Word is that Donovan’s group has developed a toxin for release into the atmosphere. They’ll be distributing it any day now, if they haven’t begun to already.”

“What sort of toxin?” Kim asked, her scientific curiosity piqued even though she was horrified at the idea of biological warfare.

“The leak called it ‘red dust.’ He didn’t know that much about it, other than the fact it’s said to be fatal within minutes.”

Martin looked to Kim, silently asking for her input. 

She pursed her lips and looked down at her hands, thinking, before giving her best guess. “It could be anything- chemical, bacterial, but probably not viral.” She looked back to Martin. “But they must believe it’s somewhat selective in its toxic effects, or else it would mean global extinction.” 

Philip, hearing their conversation, left his post at the radio and joined them.

“It could be anyway,” Paul said grimly.

“They’d do it, too,” Philip added. “Diana would never admit defeat, not if she could send forty-nine ships home.”

“Enough to help in the short term, so she’d feel justified in destroying the planet.” Martin nodded his agreement, then noticed Kim’s raised eyebrow. “The motherships can be set for self-destruct, making each one a thermonuclear device capable of destroying the entire planet. Only the commanding ship is authorized to give the order....”

“And that’s the L.A. ship,” Kim finished for him. “So we either have to stop the release of the toxin or take over the ship.”

“What about an antidote?”

Candy shrugged her shoulders at Philip’s question. “He made no mention of one.”

“It might not be possible to have an antidote,” Kim cut in. “Especially if it’s a chemical toxin. Even developing a vaccine against a biological weapon could take some time. From the sounds of it, the humans never even planned for us to find out about it.” She leaned back in her seat, fighting a wave of fear that the columnists could all die at any moment.

“You said Donovan’s group was responsible?” Martin said, recalling Candy’s earlier remark.

She nodded. 

Paul looked to Martin in anticipation. “I was hoping you would know how to contact him, so we can tell them to stop their plans to use this weapon.”

Martin gave an affirmative nod, then checked his watch. “You were right not to trust this to the radio. For now, keep this to yourselves. Until we know more, there’s no point inciting panic in the other surface groups.”

“I’d suggest stockpiling as many respirators and gas-masks as we can find,” Kim commented, thinking out loud. “Even with an antidote, it would be best to minimize exposure whenever possible.”

Martin stood up. “I’ll go find Donovan and warn him. In the meantime, see what else you can find out.” He looked gratefully at Candy and added, “Once again, we owe you.”

“I’ll put it on your tab,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand before bending down to put on her shoes. 

“If they decide to proceed, I may ask you to come back again, so we can plan how to best utilize the surface groups. You know more about their status than I do, I’m sure,” Martin told Paul.

“Understood,” Paul replied as Candy took his arm. “I suppose we should take Darlene with us.”

“If you leave her here, I won’t have anyone to make miserable,” Candy grumbled with a mock pout on her face.

Kim giggled and looked at Candy, sharing in the moment of levity. “It was good seeing you again,” she said as they started to leave, then picked up her book. She knew Paul would explain if Candy didn’t know about her masquerade.

* * * *

Alone again, Kim tried desperately to read. She wanted to lose herself in the story and forget, if only for a little while, that all of her friends might die from the release of the toxin. But it was impossible to forget. She threw the book aside in disgust and stared at the basket where her children were sleeping. It was very possible that the toxin would kill them, too.

She drew the blanket more tightly around her and pulled her knees to her chest, rocking slightly as silent tears streamed down her face. With shaking shoulders, she pressed her cheek against her blanketed knees.

“You’re going to be okay, Kimber.”

She heard the words from the edge of a dream. Her head snapped up and Kim blinked away the tears. A woman stood with her hands resting lightly on the edges of the basket. Her stance was protective, loving, as she looked down at the children. “Mom?”

The woman looked at her and smiled. “Hold on to hope, Kimber.” Then she was gone.

“Mom!”

Philip appeared in the doorway, having heard Kim’s desperate cry. She was sitting on the couch and staring at the basket. “Kim? Are you okay?”

She seemed not to hear him for a moment, then slowly turned to look at him. “I think I’m losing my mind.” Seeing his obvious concern, she smiled bravely. “I’m okay.”

She could tell he wasn’t convinced, but he did finally go back to his post. As soon as he was out of sight, the confident look slid from her face. She knew she hadn’t fallen asleep. It hadn’t been a dream; she could have sworn she had seen her mother standing there. She believed in an afterlife, but the dead didn’t visit the living. She desperately wished it had been real, so she could take comfort in the message rather than question her sanity.

* * * *

Martin made his way carefully back to the base after a brief and discouraging meeting with Donovan. Pausing, he looked up at the sky, feeling insignificant compared to the vastness of space. Had he ever really believed the fifth column could save two worlds? Even if the humans listened to reason and abandoned their plan to use the toxin, what chance did the column have at overthrowing the Leader? Ideals alone were insufficient. Martin needed large numbers of columnists to help him and a minimum of three motherships at his disposal if the coup were to succeed. 

Right now, success in any form seemed unlikely. Donovan had been more worried about how Martin had found out about the weapon being developed than hearing about the self-destruct device on the mothership. It seemed to Martin that Donovan had only agreed to tell the other rebels about the risk in order to avoid a lengthy discussion.

“Well?” Anthony asked as Martin approached the building.

Martin shook his head. “Donovan will be contacting me soon, but I don’t think they’re going to change their plans.”

“Did he say what sort of toxin it is?”

“No, we didn’t get into that. Do you know what upset him the most? The fact that we knew about it,” Martin added bitterly.

“I guess they aren’t all like Kim and Jackie.”

“Seems that way.”

Anticipating Martin’s next question, Anthony put a hand on Martin’s shoulder in an unconscious imitation of human mannerisms. “Don’t worry about taking over for me. Go get some sleep while you can.”

“Thank you,” Martin answered quietly before going inside. He didn’t comment about the physical contact. On the surface, they all seemed to be more relaxed with protocol and Anthony probably hadn’t even realized what he had done. 

* * * *

 “Donovan!” Paul was very surprised when Stacey knocked on the open door and gestured the resistance fighter into the room.

“I need you to contact Martin,” he said as he took off his leather gloves and shoved them into the pockets of his jacket. “The place I usually leave a message was crawling with troops and this is urgent.”

Paul nodded as he stood and went over to the radio unit. “Then it must be about your weapon,” he commented casually.

“How’d you....” Mike stopped and slammed a fist into the palm of his left hand. He’d have to talk to Ham later about finding the leak in the resistance. “Next thing I know I’ll be reading about it in the morning paper.”

“Quite possibly,” Paul agreed. Mike Donovan would do well to become more paranoid, given his past record of extreme risk-taking. He pressed a series of switches, then turned the unit off.

“What about sending a message?” Mike asked, irritated that Paul wasn’t cooperating with his request.

“I just sent it.” Paul turned and regarded the human carefully. “We use pre-set codes whenever possible.”

“To prevent information from reaching the wrong people. I hear you,” Mike snapped. “How long until he gets here?”

“A half-hour, minimum. It depends on troop activities.” Paul folded his arms across his chest. “You decided to proceed with the toxin.”

“Where are you getting your information?” Mike demanded. 

“Isn’t it a bit late to be concerned with that?” Paul sat back down in his chair and watched the human pace in the cramped confines of the office. “Even Diana probably knows by now. You’ve lost the only advantage you had: the element of surprise.”

“And you have a better idea?”

“A large dose of patience might help.”

“Patience? We can’t afford to be patient! People are being herded to the motherships like sheep! Supplies are impossible to get, weapons even more so. We don’t have time to wait for the column to get stronger. We both know the column is struggling just to survive.”

“So you’d rather kill everyone quickly. It’s an interesting form of logic, and I’m sure the Leader will appreciate your help.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Donovan stopped his pacing to glare at Paul.

“If the Earth is destroyed, we’ve lost both worlds. You’ll send forty-nine partially stocked ships home, with enough supplies to help for a time. The Leader will have plenty of humans to turn into troops for the war, as well as breed another generation of slaves. 

“The fifth column is currently stronger on the surface than on the ships, so you’ll effectively remove that threat to the Leader as well. Any columnists who remain on board will be forced to either turn loyalist again or be put to death. 

“You’ll be sending him thousands of your people, a loyal crew, and preventing any future retaliation from Earth. The Leader’s rule will go unchallenged and he’ll be free to continue the cycle of destruction elsewhere.” Paul shook his head sadly. “This toxin of yours may destroy everything the fifth column has tried to accomplish.” 

“We’re going to get control of the L.A. mothership,” Donovan insisted, finally sinking into the other chair.

“And what of the other forty-nine? All they have to do is consolidate the supplies they have stolen and send several ships home... filled with your people, while the others stay here and continue as they have been.”

“The toxin won’t let them.”

“So there is no antidote?”

Donovan shook his head, frustrated at having to continue the same debate he’d had at the base all morning. Damn it, they’d already considered the issues and voted for an attack! “Of course, there’s an antidote! Julie’s working on scaling up the supply right now for distribution to the column. You didn’t think we’d use something that would kill our allies, did you?” The possibility the Visitors had assumed just that occurred to him belatedly. Why hadn’t he told Martin about that last night? It might have swayed his opinion...

Paul’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “It was a possibility,” he admitted. “This is war. But it doesn’t matter.” Donovan’s confusion was evident and Paul tried to explain. “If you can develop an antidote, so can they. In the end, what have you gained?”

“Time.” Mike stood up, weary of the debate. “Look, it’s out of my hands. We took a vote this morning and the toxin is already being distributed.” He opened the door and paused in the doorway, his hand on the knob. “Just let me know when Martin gets here,” he added before pulling the door closed behind him.

Paul watched him exit silently, then turned back to the task of tallying information on surface columnists and supplies. He and Martin had some long hours of planning ahead of them.

* * * *

Paul looked up when the door opened and saw Martin. “Donovan’s here,” he said and threw down his pen. The expression on his face must have conveyed his feelings despite the pseudoskin, because Martin immediately swore in their native language and shut the door more firmly than he normally would. “He said he couldn’t leave a message for you where he normally did because of troop activity in the area,” Paul added. 

“So he can think,” Martin commented bitterly as he sat down. The enormity of the task that lay ahead of them was beyond comprehension.

“On occasion, it seems,” Paul replied quietly. “What now?”

“We find a way to make it work,” Martin sighed. “What choice do we have?”

Donovan knocked on the door once as he opened it, then paused when he felt the chill atmosphere of the office. 

Martin shifted in his chair and looked over his shoulder at Mike. “How long do we have before we commit suicide?”

“We planned on the day after tomorrow,” Donovan answered, ignoring the suicide comment.

“Impossible,” Martin said sharply. He leaned back in his chair and looked at Paul.  

Paul wasn’t nearly as restrained in his response. “You may as well attack now!” he snapped as he stood up.

Mike sat down in the chair next to Martin and forced himself to stay calm. He’d been arguing all day, and he was too drained to do it yet again. “What do you suggest?”

Martin looked sharply at him but refrained from stating the obvious. Instead, the Visitor signaled for Paul to sit down. Mike waited while the two conferred in Sirian. At least, that’s what Mike assumed they were doing, as only a handful of syllables were exchanged . Finally, Martin sighed and shook his head to himself. “Can you delay until four days from now?”

“Done.”

Martin didn’t acknowledge the concession. “What has been planned so far?”

Donovan leaned forward, eager to share what the resistance had decided. “We’re going to use jets to disperse the toxin into the atmosphere.”

“So the toxin is inhaled?” Paul interrupted.

Mike nodded.

“How long from time of exposure until time of death?” Martin asked, already trying to decide how to best use the toxin in the attack on the mothership.

“Julie says that’s dose-dependent. With a high enough dose, less than a minute.” Mike hoped they didn’t press for details of exactly how the victim died. He could still see Brian’s limp form crumpled in the test chamber, the pseudoskin torn away from his face in a vain effort to breathe as the toxin slowly suffocated him.

Martin’s voice pulled him back to the present. “Where are you getting jets?”

“By raiding military bases.”

“Do you have enough pilots?” Paul was skeptical.

Mike nodded with far too much confidence for the Visitors to believe him. “Besides, we only need a few planes in the air. The tricky part will be getting them there. We’re going after the Air Force base en masse, though.”

“What about the L.A. ship? Have you considered how you are going to get control before the self-destruct device is activated?”

Mike looked a bit sheepish, but refused to yield to pessimism. “We figured you guys would be the best ones to plan that. Just tell us how you want us to help.” 

Paul and Martin looked at each other for a long moment before Martin turned to Mike. “Where’s your base?”

“Why?” Mike replied automatically. When Martin didn’t answer, he grudgingly gave the address. Ham wasn’t going to like hearing about any of this when he got back.

“We’ll be there with a shuttle at noon, three days from now,” Martin told him. “Have as much of this toxin available as you can-- a minimum of enough to fill six cubic meters.”

“We’ll do our best. We’ll need to distribute the antitoxin to the columnists as soon as possible-- enough to protect them for several days. Julie wants an estimate of how many people we need to inoculate.”

“Bring your supply here, and I’ll see that it gets dispensed to the L.A. ship,” Paul said. “Plan on two hundred individuals.”

“That many?” Mike was impressed. He had not realized the column had grown that much.

“No, but we have to assume that some will make its way to the loyalists, no matter how careful we are,” Paul reminded him. “Don’t worry. In five days, there won’t be anyone left on Earth to care.”

“Are you always so negative?” Donovan blurted.

“I prefer to think of myself as practical,” Paul replied calmly. He folded his arms across his chest and asked a question that had been nagging at him. “How are you getting the antitoxin to columnists on the other forty-nine ships?”

Mike shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Ham’s been taking care of global distribution.”

“Ham Tyler?” Martin clarified. Of all the people to place in charge of that task... 

“He’ll come through. I don’t like him either, but he keeps his word.” Mike stood and opened the door. It was tempting to retire to an alley with a six-pack of cold beer rather than return to the base. Discarding that idea, he looked at Paul. “I’ll bring the antitoxin tomorrow evening.” With a glance at Martin, he headed out the door, adding over his shoulder, “Try not to give yourself an ulcer before then.”

Paul looked to Martin with a questioning gaze after Mike left, but Martin shook his head, not wanting to take the time to explain the comment. “Can you come back to the base with me? We have a lot of planning to do.”

Paul nodded and moved from behind his desk. “If we ask them, I’m sure some of the women will be willing to stand guard. They’re not experienced with firearms, but they can always call us to go help in the event of trouble.”

“That would be a tremendous help. We have a lot of planning to do, and I’d like as much input from everyone as possible.”

“Even Darlene?” Paul asked, pausing in the doorway. When Martin nodded, Paul smiled to himself. “Wait here, then, and I’ll be right back.”

Weary, Martin sank back into his chair and rested his elbows on his knees. Four days. They had four days in which to plan a miracle.

* * * *

 “If you keep looking this depressed, I’ll be forced to take action,” Jackie told Drew as she leaned over the back of the couch where he was sitting. 

He looked sideways at her and forced a half-smile, but said nothing.

Jackie went around to the front and sat down cross-legged at the other end of the sofa. Leaning back against the padded arm, she regarded him affectionately. “Thinking about the toxin?”

Drew nodded. “Do you think they’ll use it?”

Jackie sighed. “I really don’t know, but I hope not. Biological warfare is a nasty business.” She pushed her bangs out of her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the couch. “Try not to worry. Kim will make an antitoxin on her own if she has to. Damian said the shuttle has its own air supply, which would buy us time.”

Drew looked unconvinced, but didn’t argue with her.

“Are you worried about getting stranded here?” Jackie asked, broaching the issue she believed was the real cause of Drew’s despondent mood.

He nodded reluctantly. “It seems to be unavoidable.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Jackie resisted the urge to take his hand. “I know what it’s like to be stuck someplace you don’t want to be. But for what it’s worth, you won’t be alone. I have a huge house, and so does Kim. Even if you do get stuck here when the fighting ends, you won’t always be living in a place like this.”

“I appreciate that. Really. But it’s not the same.” He had the sense Jackie really did understand how he felt.

“I know. And when the war’s finally over, assuming our side wins, there’s going to be an unpleasant backlash of prejudice. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be here for that.”

“I suppose it’s better than being dead,” Drew reflected. 

Jackie grinned at him. “You just may have a point there.” She was pleased to see she had evoked a more genuine smile this time. His mannerisms had become more and more human over the last few months. Aside from the reverberations of his voice, he would be able to pass as human.

* * * *

“Can we use the toxin to help us take control of the mothership?” Megan asked, trying to keep the despair from her voice. Martin had returned with Paul, Darlene, and four human women to stand guard in pairs while the Visitors decided how to proceed. They were all sitting together in the furniture grouping, though some of them had to sit on crates because there were not enough seats for everyone.

Martin nodded. “I’ve already told Donovan to get a large supply ready. We can pump it into the ventilation system. While Pamela is busy dealing with that, we can try to take control of central command.”

“What about the self-destruct device?” Jackie asked.

Martin’s expression was grim. “I have no doubt Diana will find a way to use it. Even with a decoder, I doubt we’ll be able to stop it. All we can do is try to get the ship out of Earth’s range before it explodes.”

Jackie gaped at him. “You’re talking about a suicide mission!”

Martin shook his head. “Not for the rest of you. Once the toxin has been introduced, you can return to the surface.”

Drew and Jackie exchanged a look, recalling their earlier conversation about the possibility of fifth columnists being stranded on Earth.

Damian leaned forward, thinking about the proposal. “It could work, but the column is going to need you for a lot longer than four more days,” he told Martin. “I’ll take your place.”

“No, but we can argue about that later,” Martin replied, then changed the subject. “How strong is the column on the San Diego ship?”

Alan answered him. “From what we’ve heard, it’s weak in the upper levels, but a bit stronger in the ground forces. Why?”

Paul explained. “We’re trying to keep as many of the columnists on the L.A. ship as we can active in the fleet by getting them assigned ground duty on the day of the attack. Once the toxin has been released into the atmosphere and word spreads that the destruct sequence has begun on the L.A. ship, we’re anticipating that the ground forces will retreat to nearby motherships. The San Diego ship is the closest.”

“Has the resistance thought at all about the other forty-nine ships?” Megan asked. “Some of them will stay in the system and attack again. What exactly do they hope to gain by all of this?”

“They can’t count that high,” Darlene supplied.

Jackie giggled nervously at the comment and glanced over at Kim. She was staring sullenly at the basket where the twins were sleeping, appearing to be unaware of the conversation around her. Jackie thought about trying to get her attention, then decided against it. Neither of them could give much input and listening to the plans only reinforced how hopeless it all was. Sighing to herself, Jackie turned her attention back to what Martin was saying. 

“... not going to order any of you to help on the L.A. ship. If you prefer to help the resistance on the surface, I understand. It will mean you are stranded here until the fleet returns sometime in the future, but it also means you’ll probably live longer.”

“Assuming they actually have an antitoxin that works,” Darlene added.

Kim answered softly without looking up. “I’ll make one myself if I have to.”

“I’ll go up to the ship,” Megan announced firmly. “I think we all knew the risks when we joined the column.” The others all murmured their agreement. They intended to support their leader, no matter the personal consequences.

“What about the other surface units?” Anthony asked. “There are about fifty or so columnists that Paul knows of, and I can’t imagine needing all of them to help us deliver the toxin to the ship.”

“That’s something I want input from all of you on,” Martin replied. “The resistance plans to attack Air Force bases and steal jets to distribute the toxin into the atmosphere. Should those columnists assist in that effort? Or should they take control of some of the major checkpoints and get custody of as many shuttles as they can? Or something else entirely?”

“I think they should try to infiltrate like Kim and Philip did,” Megan volunteered. “They have the next three days to prepare, and getting them back into the fleet would be a real asset.”

Paul smiled at Kim and chimed in. “I agree. We already know it can be done.”

“That was before the security measures became a lot stricter,” Philip warned.

“He’s right. If we had waited even two more weeks, I would definitely have been spotted when I came aboard,” Kim added, then turned to Philip. “I remember you said at one point that the new security measures would have detected you, too.”

Philip nodded, remembering the evening of that conversation very clearly. “It’s not quite as easy as it sounds.”

Megan persisted, “But it can be done. And if they target positions with lower ranks than they held before, they should be able to perform so well in their assignments they gain favor with their superiors, which in turn will help protect them from any suspicion.”

Drew was beginning to regret his earlier promise to help Martin, in light of the new option to return to a different ship. “What about the columnists who are on board the L.A. ship at the time of our attack?”

Darlene cut in before anyone could answer. “You mean all three of them?”

“There will be more than that,” Paul told her patiently. “They’ll have to leave the ship when we do.”

“We’ve got plenty of room!” Jackie said as she gestured to the expanse of space inside the soundstage.

Drew tried to hide his personal interest in the issue, and phrased his next question carefully. “What should the other columnists know about infiltrating that would have helped you?”

Kim looked at Philip and grinned as she nodded her head slightly, indicating he should be the one to answer.

“Too many things to list,” Philip told Drew. “I never expected it to be so difficult. There were so many little things we never considered...”

“Try to recall,” Martin prodded gently as he looked from Kim to Philip. “Your experience might save lives.”

* * * *

Several hours later, the small group finally dispersed. They had discussed all aspects of the attack at length, and finally agreed that they had planned as best they could. They had finally resigned themselves to the fact that the columnists on the other ships were going to have to rely on the good graces of other resistance groups for both information and antitoxin. There was simply too little time to do otherwise. Fatigued and disheartened, most of them retired to bed for some sleep, while Drew, Anthony, and Philip took the first watch of the night. Darlene declined an invitation to stay at the soundstage and went with Paul.

“I want you and Darlene to stay on the surface and help coordinate the relocation of the other columnists,” Martin told Paul as the trio walked to the car where the human women were already waiting. “If you get a chance to go back yourself, take it.”

“I’ll help the others infiltrate. But I prefer staying on Earth, if you don’t mind,” Paul replied.

Darlene looked him over and gave her assessment. “You’re insane!” Disgusted, she walked faster towards the car to spare herself hearing more on the subject.

Paul shrugged humanly. “Maybe.” He studied Martin carefully, looking for an indication of what Martin wanted him to do.

“I understand.” Martin paused, then added softly, so no one would overhear, “I envy you.” He clasped Paul’s hand in farewell and stayed to watch the car leave the building. 

Alone, he returned to the now-quiet furniture area. The twins, having nursed in the last half hour, were once again sleeping in the basket. “It would have been nice to watch you grow up,” he said quietly before retreating to the shuttle for the night.

* * * *

“It’s so quiet,” Kim commented as she wandered into the radio room where Martin was sitting. She sat down in the extra chair and leaned heavily on the desk. “No news yet, I assume?”

Martin nodded. “Fortunately.” It was never easy to be the one left behind, waiting to learn the fate of those he commanded. 

“How long ago did they leave?”

“You just woke up?” he asked, surprised she had been able to sleep this late into the morning. Usually one or both of the twins woke her before dawn.

Kim stifled a yawn while she nodded. 

Martin checked his watch. “It’s been almost an hour. They should be on board the ship by now.”

Neither of them mentioned how critical it was for the mission to succeed. All of the other columnists were currently on board the L.A. mothership, trying to steal enough weapons and uniforms to outfit the human rebels who were going to participate in the attempted takeover. If the fifth columnists failed today, defeat in three days was a certainty. 

“They’ll be all right. I doubt any of them will be recognized,” Kim said, hoping to convince them both.

“Is Jackie up?” he inquired, wanting to think about something else.

“She’s pacing along the far wall.”

 “She’s worried that no one’s on guard?” Martin asked. He had assured Kim the day before that they wouldn’t be taken alive, and since the three of them couldn’t properly keep watch anyway, they had decided not to bother. Kim and Jackie had agreed with Martin that the best option was suicide capsules for all of them, including the twins, if capture seemed imminent.

Kim shrugged. “I think she’s just worried in general. Aren’t you?” She searched his face and hoped he wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

Kim chewed on her lower lip, debating a moment before deciding to simply ask what she had been thinking. Martin was watching her, seeming to be aware of her hesitation, since he nodded slightly in encouragement. “If your brother comes, do you want me to give him a message?” she asked quietly. She remembered Damian had said that would only happen if Martin was killed.

He considered for a moment, then shook his head. “He’s still loyal to the Leader. I don’t want you taking that risk.”

Kim looked at him sympathetically, realizing what Martin’s defection had cost him. “Were you close?”

When we were younger... before I realized we were constantly being watched and listened to. I didn’t speak as freely after that, and I don’t think he realized why until much later. By then, we’d drifted apart. We weren’t even speaking when I left.” 

“What happened?”

“He didn’t know about the column, so he was furious with me when I got into apparent trouble and was demoted.”

“You were protecting him,” Kim observed.  

Martin nodded. “The only way I could. Now, when they question him about my defection, they won’t be able to put any blame on him because he truly didn’t know anything.”

“Do you think he’ll eventually realize that’s what you were doing?”

He looked away but was unable to keep the pain from his voice. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Kim touched his arm so he’d look back at her. “If he does come to Earth and I hear that he’s with the fifth column, I’ll tell him for you.”

“Thank you.” His lips formed the words but there was no voice backing them. Even so, his expression conveyed his gratitude and Kim smiled at him before she leaned back in her chair and ran her fingers through her hair. Her shift in position broke the somber mood, and showed him something that distracted him completely from their conversation. “What happened to your arm?”

“Where?” She looked where his gaze fell and didn’t see anything.

Martin pushed up the hem of her sleeve and lightly touched the blue and yellow bruise she had inadvertently exposed. “Right here. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“No,” Kim said as she shook her head. “I probably just smacked into something.” Twisting her neck, she was able to see the spot out of the corner of her eye if she held her arm out at an angle. “It looks like it’s a few days old. I don’t remember doing anything but I’ve been bruising easily lately.”

“You seem to be feeling better,” he said in a tone that made the statement resemble a question.

“I am, but my system took a real beating these last few months.” She smiled, hoping to alleviate his concern. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“What will you do if the other ships leave?” He wanted to know what her life was going to be like after the war. He craved something happy to think about during idle moments in the coming days.

“It will never happen,” she commented morosely.

“Indulge me.”

His request, softly spoken, drove her to her feet. “I can’t do this.” She forced herself to take deep breaths, unmindful of the clenched fists at her sides.

“Kim.” Martin could tell she was reaching the limits of her control, though he wasn’t sure of the cause of her distress.

She felt his fingers brush against her wrist and she turned on him angrily. “I can’t just sit here and blandly chat about the future when we both know you’ll probably be dead in two days.”

Gently, he pulled her into his lap and wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. “If I knew of any other way, I’d do it.”

“You’re not the one who’s going to be left behind.” Her voice broke as she looked into his eyes and tried to match his unwavering gaze. “Do you know what it’s like to always be the one left standing when everyone you love dies?” 

As soon as the words passed her lips, she realized she’d said much more than she had intended. Horrified, she looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slip. 

Martin felt her stiffen and held her more firmly when she tried to get up. He couldn’t let this moment pass before he told her...

“Please, let me go. Just forget I said anything, okay?” Kim tried to hide her humiliation and was frustrated to realize her face was turning red. She ducked her head and tried once more to pull away.

“Kim...” He didn’t know how to tell her what he was thinking and felt like he had just forgotten all of the English he had worked so hard to master. Deliberately, he took her left hand and entwined her fingers with those of his own left hand. He looked to be certain he had it correct, then lifted her chin so she’d meet his eyes. “Do you know what this means?”

Silently, she nodded. Even if he had released her, which he hadn’t, she lacked the volition to stand. Damian had shown her the obscure handclasp used by a husband and wife soon after the twins were born, saying she needed to know “Just in case Martin comes to his senses.” Her vision blurred with a new flood of tears and she closed her eyes. She felt him nuzzling her throat and she flung her right arm around his neck to pull him closer. 

Hesitant caresses became tentative kisses. She felt his tongue flick against her mouth. She parted her lips compliantly and ran her free hand along his back in encouragement. When she didn’t pull away, he deepened the kiss, seeming to gain confidence with the passing of each heartbeat. 

When they finally broke for air she buried her head on his shoulder. “What are we going to do?”

Martin held her but didn’t answer. No matter how many scenarios he played out in his mind, all of them ended with the destruction of the L.A. mothership... with him at the helm.

“Can’t someone else...”

“Who? How would you choose?” he asked her softly as he stroked her hair. “Besides, not everyone knows how to pilot the mothership.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered as a fresh flood of tears threatened to soak the shoulder of his uniform.

“War rarely is.”

A numbness that was far too familiar settled over her. History was repeating itself. And because it was her own history that seemed to be coiled into an infinite loop, there was no escape.

Katherine’s cries summoned her attention, and she got up stiffly. With a false smile pasted on her face, she leaned over the basket and soothed her daughter, noting that Jeffrey, too, was awake.

While she changed their diapers, she noted that Jackie was still pacing along the far end of the building, beyond the reach of comfort. Jackie was sure to be thinking of her younger son, Justin, who was still a prisoner on one of the motherships. Words of solace would be empty platitudes, unable to bridge the gap that lay between their personal, private hells. Kim turned her awareness inward, probing for any sense of empathy for Jackie’s situation. All she found was a numbness so complete it prevented her from feeling even that. Detached. Numb. God forbid she should progress to indifference. That thought evoked a slight, if fleeting, response.

A hand pressed against her back. On other days, it would have startled her. Today, it hardly registered. She leaned back against Martin, trying to imprint the feel of him permanently in her mind, though she knew too well how time would make the memory fade.

Wordlessly, he held her for a long moment, then moved around her to pick up Jeffrey. She gathered Katherine into her arms and fumbled with the buttons of her shirt as she followed Martin back into the office.

The numbness extended to nursing, too. There were no feelings of joy, no extra sense of tenderness as the child suckled at her breast. She knew Katherine deserved better, and she wanted to give more, but there was nothing inside her to give. She sensed Martin watching her and she raised her eyes to meet his.

The emptiness he saw in her gaze concerned him. “You were going to tell me what you plan to do when the fighting ends,” he prodded gently. A spark of indignation flashed across her face.

“I was, was I?”

He nodded and waited for her to either argue or answer. 

Kim sighed and shut her eyes. “I honestly don’t know. I haven’t let myself think that far ahead. It depends, I guess, on how many columnists move in with me, and how bad conditions in the city get. I might go to Jackie’s ranch in Colorado. Getting away from this polluted haze that passes for air around here would be a welcome change. Maybe I’ll move back to Pennsylvania. I never liked the city.”

“Why did you come here at all, if you hate being in the city?”

“Jackie was here.” Kim opened her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall. “There was no family left back in Pennsylvania, no reason to stay...” Her voice trailed off as the memories rushed back. “At first, it was just going to be until I finished graduate school. Then I got a job and we decided we’d stay until Andy finished high school. Then I met Marc and it sort of settled the issue, or so I thought. But now? I don’t know. It would be tough to leave, after having Judy next door all these years, but who knows? I guess I’ll just see how things go. I’m learning how to live one day at a time and not think about the future.”

Martin wanted to inquire about Marc, but the pain he’d seen in her eyes when she mentioned the name made him hesitate. Perhaps now wasn’t the time. The silence that had settled over them was comfortable and he decided to let the matter rest.

* * * *

It wasn’t until late afternoon that the others returned, tired but successful. Kim woke from her nap and wandered into the radio room where Martin was listening to Drew and Damian as they related the details of the raid on the mothership. 

“... left them with Paul until tomorrow. It seemed safer than trying to smuggle everything back here,” Drew was saying.

Kim leaned against the doorway. “Won’t anyone notice so many weapons missing?” She had slept through the early morning preparations and didn’t know how the theft was going to be concealed.

Damian smiled at her. “It’s going to take them weeks to straighten out the computer’s inventory.” He shook his head sadly. “They have been very lax in updating some of the more obscure access codes. I expect they’ll be having trouble with many of the non-essential systems breaking down, too.”

“You didn’t!” Kim grinned at him, surprised that Damian had taken the additional risk while securing weapons.

He shrugged. “I was already in the system, so making a few more modifications didn’t take much time. Actually, it will help cover up the sabotage of the weapons records. I left navigation alone,” he added for Martin’s benefit.

As Damian began to relate the details of what he had done, Kim’s mind drifted to Martin. She could almost imagine their earlier conversation had never happened. Now that they were not alone, nothing in his behavior indicated that anything had changed.

His concealment of their new understanding forced her to recognize how many issues between them remained unresolved. She understood his reasons. Being unaware of her relationship with Damian, he was protecting both of them from the reactions of the others. The fifth columnists weren’t saints, Darlene was proof of that. Gossip had a tendency to spread, and neither of them could predict how other fifth columnists would react to the news that their leader was in a relationship with a human. 

But the issues went far beyond potentially negative reactions from others. She and Martin had both been careful to avoid talk about his future, and she had no idea if he even wanted to remain on Earth. It was all happening too fast. Tomorrow they were joining Donovan’s group. The day after... At least she knew he didn’t want it to end this way. 

It was a small consolation.

* * * *

Kim woke when the mattress shifted and was surprised to find Martin getting into bed beside her. Her expression must have alarmed him, because he seemed very hesitant and unsure of himself.

The corner of Kim’s mouth quirked up in a sleepy half-smile as she reached for him. “What took you so long?” Her comment seemed to reassure him and he stretched out next to her.

She snuggled against him and pressed her head against his chest. One arm slipped under his to rub his back as he lay on his side. The tension she had sensed moments ago was gone. “Are you going to be able to get enough sleep out here?” she asked softly. As much as she wanted this time with him, he needed his rest. Out here, he’d wake every time one of the twins cried.

“I’ll sleep,” he murmured, already drowsy. He wanted to explain how easy it was to relax in her embrace, how her warmth soothed him and made him forget about the burdens of command. He tried to find the words, but they eluded him. He was tired... so tired. He was dimly aware that her hand was stroking his back in a slow tempo that matched her breathing. Giving himself over to his fatigue, he allowed Kim’s caress to lull him to sleep.

* * * *

The next morning, there was an atmosphere of reluctance as they all prepared to depart what had been their home. They decided, after a few minutes of discussion, to leave the stolen cars where they were rather then move them to the streets and invite vandalism or theft. It didn’t take long for them to pack the radio equipment and food, move their few belongings to storage compartments in the shuttle, and fold the bunks back up against the bulkheads. The humor behind Jackie’s remark about returning trays and seat backs to their upright position was lost on the Visitors, but induced an uncontrollable fit of giggles in Kim.

She immediately dismissed Martin’s suggestion that she and Jackie stay with Paul rather than accompany the rest of them to the base. Though it would spare Kim from a possibly hostile reception, she didn’t want to say good-bye any sooner than she had to. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to Jackie to keep her away from her sister. That was one thing Kim was looking forward to: enjoying Jackie’s surprised reaction when she saw Julie for the first time since the Visitors’ arrival.

Too soon, it was time to leave. Everyone but Drew found a seat on the shuttle and settled in for the ride. Drew slid the huge doors at the far end of the building wide open and Martin piloted the shuttle out, letting it skim only inches above the concrete before setting it down again outside so Drew could board. 

They all watched Jackie closely as they rode in the shuttle and were relieved to see that she was faring better than in her previous flight. Even when they stopped and loaded up with the dozens of weapons and uniforms stolen the day before from the mothership, Jackie managed to stay relaxed. Anthony wondered aloud if constant exposure to the shuttle during their stay had served to counteract the compulsions Diana had planted in her brain. Whatever the reason for her improved state, it was something to be thankful for.

* * * *

Damian set the shuttle down just as two pick-up trucks, followed by resistance members on foot, drove up to meet them. 

“My God... no!” Jackie gripped Damian’s chair fiercely when she saw a too-familiar face riding in the back of the first vehicle.

Kim was immediately behind her, steadying her friend with a free hand as she braced Katherine against her shoulder. “What is it?”

“Ham’s here.” Desperate eyes tuned to Kim. “I can’t go out there! Not now.”

“Are you sure it’s him, Jackie? It’s been almost ten years...” Kim asked, then belatedly remembered Martin had mentioned Ham’s name to her on the ship. 

“You know Ham Tyler?” Martin was looking at her with surprise as he keyed the shuttle’s ramp open and put on his sunglasses.

Jackie choked back the hysterical laughter that threatened to engulf her. “You could say that.”

Martin nodded to himself, saving his questions for later. He stepped outside to greet the rebels. 

“It’s good to see you again, Julie,” Kim heard him say as she put her own sunglasses on. A few snide comments from Ham and another resistance fighter drifted inside, and she wondered for a half-second if it had been a good idea after all to defiantly don her own uniform as a show of allegiance to the fifth columnists. She sighed to herself and lifted her chin slightly. It was too late to change clothes now.

Ignoring her own nervousness, Kim took Jackie firmly by the arm and propelled her to the doorway to stand behind the other fifth columnists who were following Martin outside. She smiled her gratitude to Megan, who had Jeffrey in her arms, and then forced Jackie to exit the shuttle. “Surprise,” she told her friend softly. 

Jackie froze in place, too stunned to say anything as she recognized Julie shaking hands with Damian and Alan. 

Sensing her friend’s shock, Kim took it upon herself to get Julie’s attention. She called out,  “Julie.”

The blond head turned, looking to see which Visitor had said her name, and saw Jackie standing in the doorway to the shuttle. “Jackie?” she whispered in disbelief, hesitating only a  moment before bounding up the ramp and flinging her arms around her older sister. “Jackie!”

Martin had been guided away from the shuttle by someone Kim presumed to be Mike Donovan. At Julie’s exclamation, Kim noticed that he turned so he could watch the happy reunion. Sensing her gaze, he looked at Kim and smiled slightly before returning his attention to Mike. She dared a glance at Ham and noticed he was watching the sisters with a very grim expression, though he gave no hint that he had ever met Jackie before.

Jackie finally regained the power to speak and pulled back to glare at Kim. “You could have told me!” she chided as she kept hold of Julie’s hands, momentarily forgetting all about Ham.

Kim smiled at her and shook her head. “The suspense would have been too agonizing for you.”

Julie turned to her and looked closely at her face for the first time. Her brow furrowed in momentary disbelief and she shook her head slightly. “Kim?”

The corner of Kim’s mouth quirked up in a crooked half-grin. “I can’t believe you didn’t recognize me.”

Julie carefully hugged her, mindful of the child Kim was holding. “Your voice...”

“Long story,” Kim replied softly, ducking the questions for now. “Tell me, how’s Robin doing? She looks okay from here, but...”

“You know about that?” Julie checked herself, remembering Kim and Jackie had arrived with Martin, who had been instrumental in Robin’s rescue. Kim’s question made her look at the bundled child Kim held, but she refrained from asking. “I suppose Martin told you.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes, only to have the breeze blow it back again. “She’s doing okay. She had twins... one died after just a few days. Elizabeth seems healthy enough, but her growth rate....” Julie let her sentence go unfinished as her eyes darted from the infant Kim held to the child in Megan’s arms. “Don’t tell me...”

Kim nodded slightly. “We can talk later. The more immediate concern is keeping Ham Tyler in line, especially around Jackie.”

Julie laughed bitterly as she smiled at the Visitors she hadn’t had a chance to talk to yet. “If he wasn’t so damn useful in getting us supplies, I think one of us would have strangled him by now.” She glanced at her sister, curious at Kim’s comment. “But what’s that got to do with you?”

Jackie looked down at her feet and chewed on her lip. “I guess I never told you his name, but he’s the one who left me in the lurch all those years ago.”

Julie’s jaw dropped. “Ham?” She pointed discretely at him, her body blocking the motion from Ham’s view. “You and Ham were...?”

Jackie nodded once, somberly, then lifted her eyes to look at Julie. “He doesn’t know about Jer and this really isn’t the time to tell him, so keep it to yourself, okay?”

“What’d I tell you, Gooder, they’re breeding already.” 

Ham’s words enraged Kim and she lifted her chin defiantly. “Here,” she said softly as she handed Katherine to Jackie. “I’m going to go settle this right now.”

Philip moved back up the ramp to take Jeffrey from Megan. “I don’t envy him!” he confided quietly as he held his hand out to Julie. “I’m Philip. There are a few dozen laser rifles and uniforms inside,” he told her, indicating the shuttle with a tilt of his head. “Where do you want them?”

His question brought Julie’s focus back to the reason for the columnists’ arrival. “We can load them into one of the trucks and take them back to the main building.” She turned and looked over the group of rebels she led, trying to decide who she could rely on to be polite. She immediately dismissed Robert. As Robin’s father, he was somewhat hostile in his dealings with Visitors of any kind, although to his credit, he had been amicable when introduced to Martin. Ham and his partner Chris were not worth considering. Besides, Kim was talking to them and Julie had no intention of interrupting that. 

Maggie had lost her fiancé to the Visitors during the raid on the water pumping station. Still, she had been kind to Robin during the girl’s unusual pregnancy and delivery. In addition, Maggie made an effort to be friendly with Willie, a Visitor who had been captured a while back and turned out to be a willing ally in the rebel cause. Julie mentally approved of her and let her gaze move onward, settling next on Caleb.

Caleb and his son Elias had also befriended Willie, to the point of almost making the Visitor a part of their family. It was due in part, Julie knew, to the fact that Willie had saved Caleb’s life soon after the Visitors had arrived. Willie had been assigned to work at the cryogenics plant where Caleb was employed, and had rescued Caleb after an accident enveloped the man in liquid nitrogen.

“Maggie? Caleb? Elias? Will you help move the supplies into the trucks?” Julie called to them as she absently rubbed the tense muscles in her neck. 

Philip held his free arm out slightly to Jackie, inviting her into an embrace if she needed it. She leaned gratefully against him as she watched Kim talk to Ham. She couldn’t hear what either of them were saying, but Kim’s body language indicated that she was still on the offensive. 

“You okay?” Philip murmured to her.

Jackie nodded, then pulled away. “Let’s get the shuttle unloaded,” she said and ducked back inside where Ham’s glare of disapproval couldn’t reach her. She knelt down carefully and scooped up a small stack of uniforms to move to the truck, mindful to hold Katherine securely against her shoulder.

“Delta? I’m breathing the same air as Delta?”

Jackie looked up at the young man gaping at her. She couldn’t help but laugh. “Been a long time since anyone called me that,” she said as she dropped the uniforms and reached up, offering her hand for an Earth-style handshake. “What’s your name?”

“Elias,” he managed to sputter. Seeing she was having difficulty picking up the stack while holding a baby, he immediately knelt to help. “I’ll get those, Delta.”

“My friends call me Jackie,” she corrected gently and got to her feet. Long accustomed to tongue-tied fans, she affected not to notice his awed reaction to her. “After you,” she added, gesturing him towards the shuttle ramp.

Elias tried to hide his nervousness behind non-stop chatter. “This is just too cool! It almost makes the war worthwhile! I have all your albums...”

Taking the straps of three rifles in his free hand, Philip followed Jackie and watched her gently steer Elias towards the pickup truck while he walked backwards talking to her. He glanced at Julie, who was also walking beside him and likewise watching the exchange. “Does that happen often?”

Julie smiled wistfully and nodded. She kept her voice low, so only Philip could hear her. “All the time. And she loves every minute of it.” Watching Elias reminded her of how she and Jackie had drifted apart over the years. Both had wanted such different things out of life that somehow their own relationship had foundered because of it, reducing them to conversations that never ventured beyond superficial topics. Kim probably knew all of the sordid details of Jackie’s past relationship with Ham, whereas she, Jackie’s sister, hadn’t even known his name.

Kim joined them by the second pickup and took Katherine back from Jackie before turning to Julie. “Is it a long walk to where we’re going?”

Julie pointed to the building the resistance considered to be their main headquarters. “It’s clear over there.”

Kim estimated the building was at least a hundred yards away. “Answer enough,” she said with a sigh as she moved to open the passenger door of the cab, pausing when Jackie called her name. Jackie’s face asked the questions as clearly as if she had spoken them aloud and Kim smiled reassuringly at her. “The party in question agreed to a policy of mutual avoidance.”

Jackie sighed in relief and closed her eyes to avoid Elias’s questioning look. “I owe you, Kim.”

“More than you know!” she fired back before sinking into the seat of the pickup.

* * * *

“I don’t think we met.” A rich, deep voice broke Kim’s reverie. She opened her eyes and smiled at the large, dark-skinned man with the wide grin who had seated himself behind the wheel and started the engine. “I’m Caleb.”

“Nice to meet you, Caleb. I’m Kim.” Remembering her manners, she adjusted Katherine in her arms and held out her hand to him. He took it automatically, then looked from her hand to her eyes in surprise at the temperature of her skin. “Kim Winthrop, and it’s a LONG story,” she said as she smiled at him.

The friendly look remained on his face and he winked at her. “We have lots of those stories ’round here.”

Kim found herself liking him instantly and hoped the other columnists felt equally at ease with him. “Is that your son who’s fawning over Jackie?”

He nodded as he released the parking brake. “That’s my boy.” His voice was filled with pride. “Elias. His older brother Ben worked with Julie at the hospital,” he answered, then stuck his head out the window. “Hang on back there, we’re pulling out!” he called to the rebels and columnists who had braced themselves amongst the uniforms and weapons that were stacked in the truck’s bed.

Kim didn’t ask about Ben. The pain that had flickered across Caleb’s face as he mentioned his other son told the story. 

* * * *

Mike tossed the keys from the second vehicle to Robert and took Martin’s arm, guiding him away from the throng that was slowly following Caleb’s truck to the main building. “A few things have changed since I talked to you last.”

Martin looked sharply at him and waited for the human to explain.

Mike hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and gazed out at the ocean. “Sean was converted. Julie caught him spying on us when we were planning the attack on the air force base.”

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

Donovan nodded and scuffed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “Ham had an idea on how to use that to our favor.... Sean thinks he sneaked out unnoticed, but we let him go. He’ll most likely head straight for his grandmother and feed her the information about the attack on the base.”

“How are you going to disperse the toxin then?”

“Balloons. It’s a better way, actually. More of the resistance groups will be able to participate...” He turned and tried to read the Visitor’s eyes through the lightly tinted sunglasses Martin wore. “Question is, do you think they’ll believe Sean?”

Martin nodded grimly, without hesitation. “Diana will.”

“What about Steven?” He saw Martin’s confusion and explained. “My mother-- Sean’s grandmother-- is Eleanor Dupres.”

Martin gazed at him in sympathetic understanding. It was common knowledge in the fleet that Steven spent a lot of time at Eleanor’s home in Los Angeles and some of the gossip had included speculation over the more intimate details of the relationship. “Steven likes to-- what’s the expression you use-- hedge his bets?” When Mike nodded, confirming his use of the phrase, Martin continued. “Steven would certainly report the information Sean gives him, even if he doesn’t believe it himself. Diana has been relieved of non-scientific duties, but we can make sure she hears about it anyway,” he added, turning to look for Damian. 

Damian had been watching the exchange and saw Martin wave him over. He greeted Mike quickly before turning to Martin. 

“Sean Donovan recently gave Steven some incorrect information concerning the raids on the air force bases. We need to be sure Diana gets that information, too,” Martin explained.

Damian smiled. “Consider it done.”

* * * *

Kim tried and failed to stifle a yawn as she got out of the truck. It was no use. She was exhausted and knew that the fatigue would only get worse if she didn’t get some rest. Katherine was starting to fuss and needed to be fed anyway. “Is there somewhere I could lie down? I’m whipped,” she asked Caleb as he came around to her side of the vehicle.

“I’ll show you,” he told her kindly. He led her inside, down a long corridor that had small rooms on either side. Philip walked behind them, carrying Jeffrey and the basket Megan had thought to bring from the shuttle. 

“Here.” Caleb indicated a room with two twin beds. “It tends to be quiet in this end of the building, so you should be able to rest undisturbed.”

“Thank you, Caleb,” Kim responded as she sank gratefully onto one of the beds.

“If you need anything, you just let me know.”

“I will.”

He nodded once, smiled at Philip as he passed him on his way out, and left them alone. 

Philip closed the door and put the basket on the unoccupied bed, then gently laid Jeffrey inside. “Are you all right?” he asked her when he finally turned to her. 

Kim nodded half-heartedly and lay down as she worked the fastenings of her uniform. The emotional numbness that had set in the day before seemed to have lifted somewhat, which was a rather mixed blessing. “Aside from being exhausted, scared about tomorrow, and sick of being stared at.”

They were beyond needing words. Instead, he knelt down and took her hand for a moment. “I’ll check on you later.” Then he left, closing the door behind him.

* * * *

“We should get you all immunized before we even think about loading the red dust into the shuttle,” Mike advised Martin as they walked side-by-side through the corridor of the main building.

Martin nodded in agreement. “First we need to sit down and go over exactly how we’re going to go about this tomorrow.”

“We’ve got a large conference room-- it’s right through there.” Mike pointed to the double doors at the end of the hall.

“I have the diagrams here,” Anthony added from behind them. Mike glanced back and saw he had a sketchbook in his hand.

Mike scanned the corridor for Julie and saw Ham Tyler glaring at him. He sighed to himself and muttered to Martin, “I suppose we’re going to be graced with Tyler’s presence for this, even though he’s not involved in the raid on the ship.”

Martin glanced sideways at him in surprise. “Mike, you can’t expect this to work if each team is acting autonomously.”

“You should listen to him, Gooder,” Ham growled as he sauntered towards them. Despite the back-handed compliment he had given Martin, he avoided making any eye contact with the fifth columnist. “Tomorrow’s going to be a bit more complicated than shoving a camera in someone’s face.”

Mike started forward, only to be stopped by Julie’s petite form which had materialized between them.

“Cut it out, both of you!” she said, glaring at each of them in turn. “Let’s just sit down and go over the plans for tomorrow. The two of you can harass each other on your own time.”

Mike walked through the double doors, only to hear Ham’s snide comment from behind him, “Ladies first!” 

Enraged, Mike whirled, knowing Ham hadn’t been referring to Julie. Damn him! Just yesterday Ham had been almost human in the way he’d talked to Mike regarding Sean’s conversion. Julie’s glare made him hold back his automatic retort. He went over to the oblong table and sat down, claiming a chair in the middle of the long side. Martin sat on his right, with Anthony next to him. The rest of the columnists remained standing, allowing several other rebels to take the remaining chairs.

Ham claimed a spot near the end of the far side, as far away from Mike and the Visitors as he could manage. Julie took a seat opposite Mike and Martin, which also put her somewhat between the two groups. Maggie and Caleb sat on either side of her. Elias, Willie, and Harmony moved up behind them, shunning the chairs in order to see the sketches Anthony was spreading out on the table.

Jackie had debated for a moment about the wisdom of attending the meeting, but couldn’t bring herself to leave. Even though her condition was going to prevent her from participating in any of the ship or ground offensives, she wanted to know what had been planned. She was relieved when Ham took a seat away from the Visitors, enabling her to both avoid him and stand with the people who had become her friends. 

“Why don’t you start by telling us what you have planned so far,” Martin suggested, directing his attention towards Julie.

Her eyes filled with an unspoken apology before she looked to Ham, indicating he should answer. “Keep it civilized,” she warned him in a cool tone before leaning back in her chair to listen.

Tyler was gruff  but restrained as he gave an abbreviated account of what the ground units were going to be doing. “The network has managed to rally several hot-air balloon clubs. They’re launching not long after dawn, then holding for a couple of hours until red dust release time at eleven-hundred hours, East Coast time. Concurrent with that, helium balloons are going to be loaded and released. Within a half hour of release time, this city’s going to have thick smog in a pretty shade of pink.

“We’re going to let the hot-air balloons hang there a good long time, ’specially in the East. Give Diana something to wonder about- maybe she’ll strain something.” He grinned wickedly and continued, “While I’m coordinating that, Chris is taking the bulk of this motley group to Security Headquarters. I’ll meet them there by showtime,” he added for Julie’s benefit, having seen her eyebrows raise in question. “The bulk of the troops will be at the Air Force bases, expecting an attack before dawn, so it should be easy to take back the lizards’ main surface outpost.”

“What time are you going to attack headquarters?” Martin inquired, keeping his mask free of the reactions Ham hoped to evoke by using the term “lizard.”

“Same as the local release time --8 a.m.”

Martin turned back to Julie without an acknowledgment. The mothership had to be out of Earth’s atmosphere no later than the release time then. “Were you able to get a supply ready to load onto the shuttle?” he asked Julie. “If we put it into the storage tanks, we can use the ship’s systems to feed it into the ventilation ducts.”

She nodded. “It would be best if you showed us how to load it and stayed away from the shuttle after that. That way you’ll minimize your exposure until the antitoxin has a chance to take full effect.”

Mike interjected, “What about actually introducing the toxin? Can we be trained for that here?”

Martin nodded his agreement to Julie’s suggestion as he turned to Mike. “Yes, but our first priority is to get control of the landing bay. While you’re downloading the toxin, we have to make sure the vents stay open to the other sections of the ship. Can you spare a dozen or so individuals? We need you to keep the landing bay secured while we override the vent controls.”

Seeing Julie and Mike were a bit confused by what he was talking about, he pointed to the diagram of the mothership that Anthony had sketched. “Individual sections of the ship can be sealed off from the rest, and the controls for that are located in Master Control-- the toxin ineffective if Pamela seals the landing bay. We can sever the controls that shut the vents, but we can't override a signal once it's sent-- it's part of a fail-safe network to keep panicked crew members from compromising the safety of the rest of the ship in the event of a hull breach. We have to get that toxin into the system while she's preoccupied. Too late or too soon, and the toxin will be confined to just these areas. While your people are in the landing bay downloading the toxin, we’ll be moving into key areas to keep those ducts open. After that, you’ll regroup in the shuttle bay and leave while Lorraine and I try to deactivate the destruct device and get the ship out of the atmosphere. While I doubt we’ll have enough time to get the engines on-line and move the ship far enough, it’s your only hope of Earth surviving the destruction of a mothership.”

Looking at Martin with a piercing gaze, Mike said, “You sound like you don’t intend to come back to the surface with us.”

Martin ignored him. “I’m also going to need some help taking over Master Control. Once Pamela, John, and Diana realize the toxin is on board, they’ll seal themselves inside the control room.” He glanced over at the columnists. “You’ll be too busy with the vent controls,” he added for their benefit before turning to Julie. “Do you have any explosives? We weren’t able to smuggle any off the ship, and we’ll need something to break through to Master Control.”

“Chris?” she said, deferring to Ham’s friend and partner. 

The heavy-set man nodded curtly. “Just tell me who to give them to.”

“I’ll go,” Elias said with a grin. “Maybe I’ll get to pay my respects to Diana! Not to mention the chance to take my career to a whole new level!”

“Elias!” Caleb reprimanded him sharply. The war had given his son an opportunity to move beyond petty theft and he wanted to believe that the change was permanent.

“S’okay, Pop.” Elias waved his hand dismissively. “Anyone else?”

Mike and Julie exchanged a look and nodded at each other before turning to Martin. “Just tell us what to do.”

Martin took the pencil Anthony offered him and leaned forward to better point to details in the sketches. He focused first on the schematic of the landing bay, explaining to all of them where the equipment to download the toxin was stored, as well as where the guards would be posted. He moved next to diagrams of the main corridors leading from the shuttle bay. “Lorraine’s going to get a decoder unit and meet you here to guide you up to Master Control. I’ll stay in the landing bay as long as I can and meet you up there later. Don’t worry,” he assured Mike when he sensed the coming question. “There are shortcuts I can take. We’re having you stick to the main corridors so you have less of a chance of getting lost in the chaos that’s going to erupt when Pamela and John start reassigning troops.

“Do you have any questions?” he asked as he pushed the sketch over to them so they could commit it to memory. Martin waited a moment, then moved the diagram of the shuttle bay to the center of the table. “Then let’s go over exactly what needs to be done to secure the bay.”

* * * *

Kim carried a tray with her dinner into the small lounge the columnists had claimed. Everyone was there except Martin, who was reportedly touring the base with Mike. She set the tray on the coffee table before sitting down next to Damian on the couch and pulling the table to within easy reach. “Have you noticed how all conversation stops whenever we walk into a room?” she commented bitterly before sinking her teeth into her sandwich. Was it any wonder they had all retreated to a room by themselves?

Damian put his hand on her neck and gently massaged the tension from her muscles. “Did you learn anything from Julie’s notes?”

Kim pointed to the manila folder that was on the tray next to her plate. “See for yourself.” She glanced over her shoulder, looking towards the entrance to the room, and lowered her voice. “Just keep your voice down. Julie doesn’t want Robin to know we have this.”

“I can see why,” he said softly as he opened the folder to find photos of Robin’s children. The first was of Elizabeth, who looked like a five-year-old human. The growth rate alone was alarming, given the fact she was only about six weeks old according to the calendar. The second, a reptilian-looking infant, had lived only a week and died before being given a name. Unlike Kim’s children and his own sister, this child was a parody of his dual heritage. His head was too large compared to the rest of his body and his face much flatter than was typical of either Visitors or humans. There was something about him that seemed unnatural, as if he were a poorly made puppet in a B-rated horror flick, though Kim couldn’t identify exactly what it was about him that gave that impression. It had been from his gastro-intestinal tract that Julie had isolated the agent developed into the red dust.

The red dust, according to Julie, was a mutant strain of E. coli. However, the subsequent tests indicated otherwise to Kim. Unlike Julie, who had focused on medical school, Kim had spent her undergraduate college years working in a microbiology lab, and was more familiar with how authentic E. coli would behave. In Kim’s opinion, the microbe that Julie had isolated was most likely a new organism and probably an unexpected by-product of Diana’s genetic manipulations rather than a variant strain of E. coli.

Kim ate her sandwich while the rest of them examined the photos and the notes Julie had taken during Robin’s unusual pregnancy, as well as the report Julie had written detailing Robin’s use of the toxin on Brian.

Drew felt ill after reading how the toxin worked and he wished he’d foregone the offer to learn about it. “Do you think the antitoxin will work?”

Kim nodded confidently. Julie may not be a microbiologist, but she certainly knew her way around a lab and was more than qualified to synthesize an effective antidote to red dust.

* * * *

Jackie wandered in a while later. “Have you seen Julie anywhere?”

Kim turned, looking over her shoulder at her. “She was in the lab last I knew. Have you tried looking for Mike?”

Jackie winced at the thought of her sister in a relationship with Donovan, then shook her head.

Kim smiled. “Is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?” Donovan was hardly a worse choice of lover than Ham Tyler, after all.

“That’s not fair!”

Kim just shrugged, unmoved by Jackie’s sudden ire.

“Hey, Jackie! Been looking all over for you.” Elias said as he came down the hallway to her. “We’ve been talking about what to do this evening to keep everyone’s mind off of tomorrow. Don’t know if you noticed, but there’s a banged-up piano in the conference room and we wondered if...” Elias’s voice trailed off as Jackie bit her lower lip and turned away. “Sorry.”

Jackie shook her head and forced a smile to her face as she looked back to him. “It’s okay. It’s just that piano playing is a bit beyond me right now.”

Kim locked eyes with Damian and he nodded at her encouragingly. She didn’t really want to, but given his interest, and the fact this might be the last chance any of them... She stopped that thought immediately. “I’m willing if you are, Jackie.”

Jackie’s gaze swung back to her. “Are you sure you’re up to it?” Still, she couldn’t keep the spark of anticipation from her eyes as she contemplated singing to an appreciative audience.

“I’m tired, but I can play for a while at least. And it would give us all something to do other than sitting around fretting.” Kim turned her attention to Elias. “Is there any sheet music in the piano bench or will I be forced to do this all from memory?”

“I’ll be right back!” He jabbed his finger in her direction before bolting back down the corridor. He returned only a few minutes later brandishing an old hymnal. “How about this?”

Kim took it and cracked the back cover open so she could skim the list of hymns. There were several that she knew would be familiar to everyone, even across multiple denominations. “This should do.” She glanced up at Jackie and handed her the book. “A few of yours, a few of these for a sing-along... it could be fun.”

Jackie smiled back at her, then checked her watch. “Why don’t you work on getting everyone rounded up, Elias, and we’ll see how out of tune this piano is. We’ll plan on starting in, say, twenty minutes.”

* * * *

Just as Kim had hoped, it did turn out to be fun. Other than the few individuals standing guard outside, the entire population of the rebel base was crammed into the conference room.

Someone had made up a huge batch of popcorn and styrofoam cups of the fluffy treat were passed out to everyone who wanted some, much to the delight of the children who were clustered on the floor near the piano.

Jackie started out by performing some of her own songs, being careful to choose only uplifting and lively pieces she knew to be popular. Ham Tyler drifted in at one point with an inscrutable expression on his face, though he left as soon as Jackie noticed him standing in the doorway.

After everyone was sufficiently relaxed and feeling somewhat removed from tomorrow’s nightmare, Jackie and Kim switched to popular hymns and prodded everyone to participate. Soon the walls were vibrating with happy voices raised in an affirmation of all that was good in the world.

When Kim paused one time to let Jackie pick the next song, she stole a look over her shoulder to gaze at the fifth columnists who were standing along the back wall, somewhat apart from the rest. Megan and Philip had the twins and Kim hoped they would continue to sleep. Of all of them, Damian seemed to be enjoying himself the most. His eyes were closed and his head was leaning back against the wall; he seemed to be lost in the pleasure of the moment.

When Jackie detected signs that Kim was feeling more fatigued, she leaned over to whisper to her, then motioned everyone to their feet. “May as well finish with this one, since you’ll be on your feet and ready to head off to bed,” she said with a smile. Moments later, the ending measures of The Star Spangled Banner filled the room, giving everyone the key and tempo so they could do the piece justice. 

A murmur of approval coursed through the room and they sang with great feeling. Many of the rebels had tears in their eyes when the last notes faded away, and no one moved to leave. 

Julie got up from her seat and scanned the room, looking for someone. “Caleb?” she asked when she finally saw him standing along the far wall. Prayer had become a traditional part of their final preparations before each raid on Visitor installations. Caleb had led the prayers before Father Andrew had joined their numbers, and now that Father Andrew had defected, it seemed appropriate that the task should once again fall to him. While Caleb’s approach was far less poetic than some might want, his prayers were always direct and heartfelt.

Caleb nodded once, then bowed his head, “You’ve been hearing this a lot, Lord, but we’re asking once again, ’cause a lot of good people are depending on us. Please help each one of us to do the very best we can tomorrow. A good night’s sleep tonight wouldn’t hurt either. And for those you choose to call Home, please make their journey easy. Amen.”

Murmured “Amens” pronounced the end to the evening and the resistance fighters began to slowly shuffle their way out. Kim watched quietly from her seat on the piano bench as children were gently prodded to get up and prepare for bed. Soon, she and Jackie were the only ones remaining, aside from the fifth columnists she considered to be her family.

Jackie put her hand on Kim’s shoulder and commented softly, “Now comes the hard part.”

Kim fought back tears and nodded slightly. “I guess we can’t put it off any longer, can we?”

“Put what off?” Damian asked softly as he drew near.

“I’m not getting up in the morning until after you have left,” Kim admitted.

“Why not?” he asked, suspecting he knew the answer.

Kim gave him a wry half-smile. “I hate mornings. And it would be a distraction at a time you need to be focused on the task at hand.”

“What about you?” Anthony asked Jackie when he noticed her nodding in agreement.

“I’ll be up but very busy. I’m helping with the breakfast preparations and then I’ll be chaperoning the kids.”

“I’m sorry... I can’t do this,” Kim whispered before she bolted from the room. 

Philip went after her, leaving the others to say their good-byes to Jackie. 

They bore her tearful hugs with relative grace, passing the twins to empty arms so they could each give Jackie a moment of full attention. Martin was last, and Jackie wasn’t sure if she dared hug him or not. He always seemed above the rest of them somehow. Removed. He must have sensed her hesitation, because he moved almost imperceptibly towards her in a way that she perceived as an invitation. 

“Take care of her,” he whispered in her ear as he pressed his cool cheek to her temple, too softly for anyone else to hear.

She was too stunned to reply. He pulled away and Jackie looked into his eyes, surprised at the amount of feeling she sensed behind his impassive gaze. She nodded, then took Katherine from Alan, intending to take Kim’s children to her.

Damian moved Jeffrey up against his shoulder and tilted his head towards the door. “She’s forgotten we know where her room is,” he explained as he fell into step beside her.

* * * *

They found the door to Kim’s room slightly ajar. Jackie pushed it open with her foot and led Damian quietly inside. Kim was sitting on the bed, quietly sobbing in Philip’s arms. Her face was pressed against his chest as he rocked her slightly. Jackie laid Katherine in the basket on the other bed and touched Damian’s arm in silent farewell before leaving the room.

Philip motioned Damian to the bed with his eyes and gently removed Kim’s arms from around his waist. She looked at him, confused, until she felt Damian’s hand on her back.

“Wherever you run to, we can follow,” he teased as he pulled her to him, still looking at Philip.

Philip nodded at him and quietly exited, closing the door behind him.

“No escape?” she managed to whisper.

“None.”

“It’s the waiting I can’t stand. Tomorrow’s going to be worse.”

“I know.” 

They lapsed into silence after that and just sat together for a time before he got up to leave. Damian saw the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks once more and pressed a finger to her lips to cut her off. “You’ll be okay,” he assured her. 

Kim rose and hugged him fiercely before reluctantly letting him go. She wouldn’t say good-bye, as if refusing to utter the words would bring him back safely.

After Damian left, the others filed in one by one to give her a hug in a silent farewell. Kim wasn’t sure why they all avoided talking, but even she didn’t want to engage in conversation. Somehow, it was enough to share a quiet moment alone with each of them, until it was Martin’s turn. She expected him to come in next and was surprised when it was Philip who passed through the doorway.

“Mike wanted to talk to Martin about something, so I expect he’ll be in later.” He gazed tenderly at her. “Try to get some sleep.”

“You, too,” she answered softly as he shut the door, leaving her alone.

* * * *

Martin saw light under the door of Kim’s room and knocked hesitantly. Hearing no answer, he opened the door a few inches and peered inside. Kim was huddled in a ball on the twin bed, crying quietly. She started when he sat down on the bed, then flung her arms around his neck, leaving little doubt how she felt about the likely result of tomorrow’s attack on the ship.

They talked some, though later he would be unable to recall what had been said. At some point, when they lapsed into silence, he bid a silent farewell to the children who were soundly sleeping in their basket, unaware of the drama surrounding them. Finally, he kissed her once more and rose, keeping hold of her hand. He briefly clasped it in the manner of married couples, then slipped out so they could both get some sleep. As much as he wanted to stay the night, he knew that he needed every minute of rest he would be able to get.

* * * *

Still feeling too restless to retire, Martin wandered the corridors of the building. Without choosing a direction, he found himself exiting the building and walking towards the shore. The moon was nearly full and illuminated the sky with an eerie light, so unlike the darkness of space. The breeze carried the tangy aroma of salty air to him, and he breathed deeply, enjoying the foreign smell. Idly, he wondered if he would ever get used to the view of such a wealth of liquid water. The sound of the breaking waves was soothing and hypnotic, and he allowed the rhythm to set his mind adrift.

* * * *

Unable to sleep, Caleb decided to walk outside and get some air in hopes it would help him relax. He stopped to chat with Eric, who was on guard duty, and noticed a lone figure standing on the cliff overlooking the ocean. 

Eric shrugged. “Martin’s been out there a long time. I don’t know what he’s doing.”

Caleb knew. “Leave him be. Considering what he’s facing tomorrow, the man is entitled to some time with his own thoughts.”

Martin’s acute hearing allowed him to listen to the exchange. Recognizing the deep voice, he was filled with gratitude. More than once today, Caleb had acted as a buffer between the rebels and columnists. His unsophisticated manner and practical view of things were traits Martin admired. When Caleb talked, people listened, and what he said usually made sense. He had the respect of everyone, even Ham Tyler, Martin had noticed. While not everyone agreed with Caleb’s views, it was clear that they respected him.

Hoping for an opportunity to engage him in conversation, Martin studied the pattern of Caleb’s roving and set out on a wandering path that would allow them to intersect if Caleb wished, or pass each other by if he preferred to be alone.

“You can’t sleep either?” Caleb asked when they drew closer together.

Martin shook his head, belatedly questioning the wisdom of initiating this conversation. He didn’t have anything in particular he wanted to talk about...

Caleb sighed and gazed at the ocean as it heaved under the blanket of moonlight. “Whichever way this thing goes, a lot of good people are going to die tomorrow.”

“Several billion,” Martin replied, more to himself than to Caleb.

“An optimist after my own heart.”

Martin looked sharply at him. He hadn’t detected that attitude earlier today. “You’re against this, too?”

Caleb laughed bitterly. “Damn right I’m against it. But those of us who thought that way were outnumbered. All we can do now is try our best and hope we get lucky.” He paused, looking sideways at the Visitor. “Question is, how much luck do we need?”

Martin shook his head. “I don’t know. It all depends on how desperate Diana feels. If Pamela manages to control her, we have a chance. But if Diana kills her and puts herself in charge... ”

“What about John?”

“He’s nothing more than the Leader’s puppet. If he thinks Diana is listening to him, it’s only because Diana wants him to believe that.”

Caleb’s expression became cynical. “Is it any wonder we can’t sleep?”

* * * *

“You’re supposed to be asleep.”

Kim turned and looked at Philip despondently. He was leaning against the wall just inside the doorway, though a hand was still on the doorknob. “So are you.” She patted the bed next to her.

It was all the invitation he needed. He quietly shut the door and slipped off his boots, then sat down next to her on the bed. She was seated cross-legged under the blankets, leaning against the wall. A book lay in her lap and he picked it up. “‘Shakespeare: The Poems’?”

Kim nodded. “It’s one of the books Judy sent. I can’t keep my mind on it tonight.”

Philip examined the text, then handed the book back to her. “I can see why.”

She chuckled and elbowed him playfully. “These were written in the late fifteen hundreds. You can’t fault William Shakespeare for the way the English language has changed since then! Besides, it isn’t as difficult to understand as it first seems. Most nights, anyway.”

He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. “Why don’t you stay here for tonight? We can’t sleep any worse in this dinky bed than we already are.”

“Read me your favorite.”

“I don’t need to read that one; I know it by heart.” She set the book aside and got up to turn out the lights while he pulled back the covers and lay down. When they were both settled, she quoted softly, “‘When,  in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state...’”

* * * *

“W'time izit?” Kim mumbled when she heard Philip’s alarm jar her from a deep sleep. 

“Four.”

“God, it's the middle of the night.” She yawned groggily. She watched him in the faint illumination of moonlight that filtered through the curtains as he carefully got up to retrieve his boots, then reluctantly sat down on the edge of the bed to put them on. “I don’t want you to go.”

He pressed his fingers to her cheek, and she turned her face into his cupped hand. “Be careful,” she whispered, knowing full well he would take any risk he thought necessary.

“I will.” He stood without breaking contact.

“If you want me to see you off, I will.” She kissed the palm and squeezed her eyes shut to hold back the tears. “But to be honest, I’d rather say our good-byes now so I can remember you here.” She felt his hand shift as he knelt down and she kissed his palm again. “And don’t tell me it’s not good-bye, because you don’t know that.”

“I wasn’t going to. You know the odds as well as I do.” Philip looked at her and brushed away a tear with his thumb, trying to burn this image into his retinas so he could carry it with him. “I’d prefer to think of you here, safe and sleeping.”

She opened her eyes to look at him and felt like Time was waiting for her permission before letting the next second come. She reluctantly granted it and pulled his head closer, pressing his forehead against her own. “I’ll be waiting for you,” she whispered, then took a deep breath. “Now go. Dragging it out isn’t going to make it any easier.” She closed her eyes and withdrew her hands. She heard the quiet whisper of fabric as he stood. Then came the dreaded footfalls, retreating from her range of hearing. 

The silence was the most painful sound of all.

* * * *