Recovery and Relapse

Part Three of V- The L.A. Chronicles. (Section 1 of 3)

by Jackie Newman

jacalynsue@zoominternet.net

The effects of the conversion became more apparent as Jackie regained her strength. It seemed to her that there was a direct correlation between her physical healing and the growing discord within her mind. Memories were mixed up with conversion-induced images and she was no longer certain which thoughts were her own. Ignoring Jacob’s advice to recall every moment in the chamber, she tried to ignore the past completely and sought refuge in the books that lined the shelves scattered throughout the house they now occupied.

She couldn’t even remember coming here. Jacob had been sitting with her when she woke up in a strange room, looking at beige walls and an equally bland ceiling. The Visitor had confirmed that the freezer held an adequate supply of meat, and said they assumed she would find enough food as well.

Dazed and disoriented, she had let Jacob guide her downstairs to the kitchen. The modest two‑story house was comfortable, though eclectically decorated. Throughout the home, randomly placed shelves displayed books and pictures from another time, before the war. Otherwise, the home was devoid of decorations, save for a few prints on the walls. There were no signs of children, although Jacob told her there were two bedrooms upstairs. In fact, the whole place had the atmosphere of a professor’s office. The reading selection was wonderfully diverse, and she escaped for hours at a time into an alternate reality where life was fair.

For a time, the books were enough. But as her health improved, so grew the urge to return to her music. The piano in the living room drew her with equal feelings of desire and dread. She was using her left hand almost constantly now, except for when she caught herself and actively concentrated on what she was doing. Worst of all were the nightmares. They came almost every night, and left behind a residue of terror she couldn’t put aside. The images that interrupted her sleep were fleeting and elusive, and the harder she tried to remember them, the worse the terror became.

The Visitors watched her carefully, but allowed her the solitude she craved. She was dimly aware that Jacob and Megan spent a lot of time together. So much, in fact, that if she had been less withdrawn, she would have been intrigued by Drew’s indifference to the affair. She knew Drew was still bitter about having to flee the ship and spent hours brooding. But those impressions were on the periphery of her conscious; her inward struggles drew most of her attention.

One afternoon, about two weeks after they had sought shelter in the abandoned house, the piano’s siren call was too strong to ignore. She set aside her book and vacated the wing-back chair she had claimed as her own. Feeling as if in a trance, she moved across the room and tensely sat down on the piano bench. She rested her hands on the cabinet for several minutes before she could bring herself to open and expose the keyboard.

Jackie started with simple scales, using first one hand, then the other. Success led her to attempt scales with both hands. “So far, so good,” she murmured to herself. 

Encouraged by the sounds resonating from the well-tuned instrument, she launched into a favorite Mozart sonata. Only a few measures into the piece, she stopped, waiting for the sounds of discord to fade. She took a calming breath and tried again. Maybe she was just out of practice, she thought, and tried again.

“Damn!” she swore aloud, and tears rushed to her eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her chest and her hands felt sweaty. “Okay. Mozart’s too much. Try something simple. Silent Night.” She had learned a very simple arrangement of that piece during her first year of piano lessons. Surely she would be able to play that.

Resolved, she played a few tentative notes, only to give up three measures into the piece. “Damn you, Diana.”

Alerted by the unfamiliar sounds, Drew had roused himself from his stupor in the adjoining room and moved to the doorway to watch. He had seen her staring at the large unit before, and had wondered what it was for. Given her reaction, it was obviously not intended to sound that awful. Although her back was to him, he could see that her hands were clenched into fists.

“More effects of the conversion?” he asked softly as he walked up behind her.

She didn’t sense his approach and jumped when he spoke. Her head whipped around and she looked at him with teary eyes. “You could say that.”

He waited, watching her with the unflappable, unblinking stare characteristic of his people.

“I can’t keep my hands straight. I can hear the music in my head and I know which keys to strike, but I keep crossing my hands over in my mind. I was good at playing the piano, millions of dollars good. Six albums good. Eight world tours good. And Diana has taken that from me. What’s next? My singing? I guess it’s a good thing I invested most of my profits; looks like that career is over.”

“Performing is your job?” Drew asked, trying to understand the menagerie of strange statements she had just made.

“Was. I don’t think I’ll be performing anymore. There isn’t a high demand for Chopsticks. ”

“Chopsticks?”

“Never mind.” Jackie closed the piano and rested her hands once more on the cabinet. “We should think about heading to L.A. soon, before I forget how to get there.”

* * * *

For days, Kim hid in her lab and wallowed in grief. Time lost all meaning to her as she vacillated between anguished tears and silent depression. She still wore the disguise, mostly because removing it would require more effort than she could put forth. She watched the video tape of Andrew’s birthday for hours, pausing only to rewind the tape and play it again. Andy’s T-shirt was her constant companion. She slept with it, rocked it, hugged it, and cried into it, trying to cope with the guilt and grief she felt. She had failed to protect him, failed to even respect his body after death. Though a part of her knew Andy would forgive her, Kim doubted she would ever forgive herself.

Until now, failure had been outside her vocabulary. Her intelligence, talent, and determination had allowed her to achieve all of the goals she ever set for herself. If the odds seemed to be against success, she found a way to alter them. Andrew’s death changed that. She had been too sure of his rescue, too certain the transfer to the other ship would go as planned; she had stopped worrying about him. If only she had asked Martin to move him sooner, if only....

The child within her stirred, drawing her attention back to the present. Her hand went to her abdomen, as it often had these past days. Damn Diana’s genetic experiments. The pregnancy had somehow prevented her from committing suicide. She had removed the capsule from her neck and held it in her hand. But she had been unable to put it in her mouth, much less swallow it. Eating wasn’t a problem, in fact her cravings for raw meat were becoming impossible to ignore. Only the deadly pill rendered her hand immobile, forcing her to accept yet another failure. For now, it seemed, she was going to be forced to keep living.

Slowly, she came to terms with her continued survival. If she was going to be forced to keep on breathing, she may as well make her sentence on Earth count for something. And hadn’t she promised Andrew she would make Diana pay? Hadn’t she vowed to help stop the people who murdered him? She couldn’t quit now; she had a promise to keep, didn’t she? It was time to set her selfishness and grief aside and get busy.

That decision led to the obvious question of how to proceed. What could she do that would most anger Diana, if Diana found out? Kim smiled to herself. Of course! Continuing her masquerade would be the ultimate insult. She could help other fifth columnists who had had to seek refuge in the city. Wouldn’t they be more comfortable receiving help from someone they thought of as one of their own, someone they could trust? She was still wearing her disguise, wasn’t she? It was the most reasonable thing to do, wasn’t it? She could go to Paul, who Martin said had set up operations in the red‑light district. Surely he could tell her what assistance was needed. All she had to do was pack some clothes that would fit around her expanding stomach and leave a note for Philip and Jackie. She hugged Andy’s shirt to her chest as she made her plans, then carefully set it aside. She had work to do.

* * * *

 “Got another one for you, Paul.”

Kim followed the woman into the dimly lit room. There was a small table in the corner that held several cages of rodents. A desk was pushed up against the wall, next to a straight-backed chair. The figure at the desk looked very human as he slid his chair back and turned to see his new guest. “Karen!” he exclaimed in surprise, recognizing Martin’s chosen consort. “Thank you, Candy.”

“Whatever,” Candy said, snapping her gum as she left and closed the door behind her.

“Sit down! Have you eaten?” He seemed happy to have a break from the papers he had been going through, and he gave her his full attention.

Kim eased herself down onto a chair that looked too rickety to hold her weight. She sat on the front edge, expecting it to give way. Nodding her head, she replied, “I’m fine.”

“Martin sent word I should watch for you, but after so long, I thought...” He shook his head.

“I had some other things to do before coming,” Kim hedged. She hadn’t known Martin had made plans for her arrival. How had he known she was going to come here, when she herself had made the decision only this morning? He must have told Paul as a precaution, just in case she took the unlikely option of continuing her masquerade, she decided.

“I’m glad. Only about two of every ten columnists make it off the ship alive, you know.” He paused, both of them thinking about lost comrades. “At least now they have a place to come to. I hear it was your idea to set up down here, true?”

“Only in part. How is it working out?”

“Could be better, could be worse,” he said and shrugged. “Some of them, like Candy, are glad to help any way they can. Most don’t want to get involved, and keep quiet only because they keep their money. And a few...” He let that sentence trail off unfinished. The realities of war didn’t need to be explained to Karen, he was sure. “But our network is spreading. We’ve been able to move several targeted human families into hiding, and if it weren’t for the work of those ladies, we would never have known about the plans. It sure is a strange system they have here, though.”

“I expect they would find many of our ways equally strange,” Kim replied. 

“I’m sure, and I didn’t mean to sound like I was criticizing them. I’d rather be here than looking over my shoulder on the ship, to speak the truth.” He leaned back in his chair and studied her. “I see you already have civilian clothes. What is it you need? I’ll help you any way I can.”

“Other than you, I’m completely cut off from the ship and the column. My only other contact is a human, but her resources are rather limited. I’m here to serve in whatever capacity you think would be most useful to the column. But you also need to know something about my condition.” Kim hesitated. “I managed to get myself caught up in some of Diana’s medical experiments.”

“We’ve all had to do some things we didn’t want to,” Paul said, encouraging her.

“I’m pregnant with a hybrid child.”

Paul’s eyes widened, but he said nothing, only nodded for her to continue.

“I have no way of knowing how much longer I’ll be useful on my feet, though I assume there are sedentary tasks I can do as time goes on.”

“And then? We have only the most rudimentary medical supplies, and so far, none of our physicians have made it to the surface.”

“The humans have an expression that seems appropriate: I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

Paul nodded in sympathetic agreement. “How about joining one of the groups that monitors ship communications? They’re located in a relatively quiet area of the city, so you probably won’t be the target of a raid. Some of the individuals in that group mingle on the streets, and others pose as officers in transit, to try to collect more information. But given the circumstances, I think it would be agreeable to them for you to monitor ship communications only. Is that acceptable? I realize it is perhaps not the best use of your training.”

“It sounds fine. I don’t know that any of us are going to use our training in the intended ways again. Look at you. What is your role called by the humans? A pimp?”

Paul laughed in a very human fashion. “Yes. ‘Slave owner’ seems to be more appropriate, from how I’ve seen them treat their women. The one I killed to replace was such an offender. I think he would have killed Candy if I hadn’t stopped him.”

“Which won you their gratitude.”

“And gave them a chance to regain the self-respect their former pimp took from them. One of the ladies will show you to a room where you can rest while we contact the group you’ll be joining,” Paul said, standing up. “Do you still have your firearm?”

“Yes, and my uniform, which will not fit me much longer, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll see if any other uniforms can be procured for you. It may be useful to have at some point.” Paul opened the door and went into the hallway. “Angel, could you show Karen to a room, please?”

“Sure, honey,” she said to Paul before turning her gaze to Karen. “Come on, honey. This your first time on the surface?” Angel asked. She didn’t even pause to hear the answer, but kept on talking. “We’ll take care of you, don’t you worry. I’d do anything for Paul, and that means I’ll do anything for you, you hear?”

Kim shook her head to herself as she followed the chattering woman to a small room furnished only with a narrow bed, a small table, and a chair. Was everyone ‘honey’ to her? Kim set her bag on the table and looked around the room, wondering how previous occupants had used it. Who would have thought that the rebel effort would rely so heavily on the shoulders of society’s forgotten daughters? Then again, was it really a surprise, given the fact that their very lives depended on practical survival skills? Helping the resistance was simply the best way for them to survive, as they were protected by the very fifth column they were aiding. The inside information they had access to helped them avoid the raids that removed the other prostitutes from the Visitor-sanitized streets. And the fifth columnists on the ships were careful to send advance warnings of all such raids, with the realization that one of them could be the next columnist to run from the ship in need of a safe place to hide.

“You just make yourself comfortable, honey, and let Angel know if you need anything. Bathroom’s just down the hall on the left. I’ve got some magazines in my room if you want something to read while you wait.”

Kim hesitated, wondering what sorts of reading material were being offered. “I would like that, thank you,” she lied, feeling it would be rude to refuse.

“Okay, honey, I’ll go get them.” Angel turned to go, then stopped and looked back at her. “You want a blanket or something?”

A blanket would do a Visitor little good, if he were already cold. “Does Paul use one?” Kim asked carefully, hoping the question would seem appropriate for an alien out of her element.

Angel shook her head and laughed. “One of the girls sleeps with him to keep him warm. We don’t mind.” Her face took on a serious expression as she continued, “He says what he means and he doesn’t try anything. Not that I’d mind if he did try something, if you catch my meaning.” She winked. “Tell ya what, I’ll bring you a blanket, and if you get cold, you come find me tonight, okay?”

Kim nodded, touched by the gesture of kindness. “Thank you.”

As soon as Angel was out of sight, she allowed herself to sigh in disgust as she looked about the room again. The thin mattress smelled moldy and was covered by a stained sheet. The pillow looked at least a hundred years old and was as soft as a concrete slab. Who knew what the blanket Angel was bringing would look like. Kim wrinkled her nose, wondering how people managed to live their whole lives in these conditions.

She sat down on the bed, staring at the floor. Was she doing the right thing? It occurred to her as she looked at her shoes that the floor beneath them was freshly mopped. A more careful examination of the room revealed it had been recently cleaned. No dust or cobwebs could be found lurking in the corners. In spite of the condition of the furniture, someone took pride in this sorry place. Kim realized with chagrin how snobbish her attitude had been and resolved to treat these women with the respect they deserved. After all the things she had done, it was hardly fair for her to judge them.

True to her word, Angel returned with a blanket and an armful of magazines. Kim was surprised by both. The blanket was soft and smelled freshly laundered. The magazines were a diverse selection, ranging from Reader’s Notes to the National Sleaze.

When she was alone again and the door was closed, Kim treated herself to a supper of peanut butter and crackers from the stash of food she had packed in her bag of clothes. It had been a tiring day, and she fell asleep almost immediately after lying down under the blanket. 

She woke early the next morning and had a breakfast from the same food stash her supper had come from. With a full stomach, she settled back on the bed and resumed her reading. A knock at the door made her jump, but she composed herself before answering. “Come in.”

An exotic-looking woman she had not met before opened the door and looked in. She was still dressed for working the streets and her dark brown eyes looked tired. “My name is Brandie. Paul wanted me to tell you the fellow you’re going with, Damian, is here. Do you need any help with your things?”

Her voice had a distinct Mexican accent, and Kim suspected one of her parents was of so-called “Hispanic” origin. Beneath the gaudy makeup and almost indecent clothing, Kim saw the potential for a beautiful woman, a diamond in the rough. It made her wonder what in their pasts had driven these women to their current profession. Shaking off her reverie, Kim swung her feet over the edge of the bed and set the magazine aside. “No, but thank you. I’ll be there shortly. Will you thank Angel again for me when you see her? The reading material has been very interesting.”

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, you hear?” she said before closing the door again.

Kim folded the blanket and stacked the magazines in a neat pile on the table before leaving the room. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake in continuing her pretense of being a Visitor, but anything seemed better than going back to the lab and being alone. 

* * * *

When she reached Paul’s office, she found the door open. He waved for her to come in and indicated the other Visitor. “This is Damian.”

Kim smiled shyly and clasped his upraised hand in greeting while she studied him. He was rather handsome, by human standards, and had a friendly manner about him. His eyes were dark brown, like his hair, and filled with warmth. Dressed in blue-jeans, a flannel shirt, and sneakers, he looked like any other human. Only his voice betrayed his origin, reverberating like Paul’s and her own. “Are you ready?”

Kim nodded, then turned to Paul and held up her hand. “Thank you, Paul.”

He clasped it and smiled back at her. “Thank you, for suggesting we set up here.”

* * * *

Damian led her to an unmarked blue car that was parked outside along the curb.

“Where did you get the car?” she asked, surprised. The Visitor cars were all white and marked with the Leader’s symbol on the doors. 

“It’s stolen,” he said, smiling at her. “Got it in a section of town that’s already in custody, which is good, since without the keys I wouldn’t know how to start it.” He unlocked her door for her and went around to the driver’s side to get in. Once they were under way, he tried to draw her out. “How long have you been on the surface?”

“A couple of weeks,” Kim answered. “I had something I had to do before going to Paul.”

“What was your position on the ship?”

“First lieutenant in security. But I’ve been working mostly in the processing area, putting the humans into storage. What about you?”

“Computer technician. I guess you got to interact with some of them, then?”

Kim nodded. “Some, but mostly after they were in custody and too terrified to talk.”

“Still, I envy you. I hadn’t even been to the surface before I had to leave the ship. The only humans I had talked with were some of the press during the initial tours of the mothership. Now that I’ve been on the surface for a while, I’m even more convinced the fifth column is doing the right thing.”

“Actually, I’m glad to be off the ship. I know we’re still in danger, but it feels safer,” Kim said carefully. She hoped she could avoid outright lies and simply allow the others to assume she was Sirian and not human. She still hadn’t decided what she would do, though if someone asked questions that would give her away.

“I understand, believe me. And you’ll find it is nice to sleep knowing that someone else is standing guard for you. In fact, it makes up for the food selection we have.” He laughed. “I hope you like hamburger and chicken, because it is pretty much all the meat we can get. Paul keeps the money coming somehow, and we buy it at a store not far from us.”

“No one gets suspicious?”

Damian smiled and glanced at her, meeting her eyes through the sunglasses they both wore. “Well, we make a point of buying other things, too. I have no idea what most of it is, and I can’t say I’m curious enough to try it. But we still have it all stacked in the office if you feel adventurous.”

“Where are you staying?” Kim asked, beginning to relax. She liked Damian. He was friendly and honest, and seemed to want to make her comfortable after what he assumed to be a frantic escape from the mothership.

“Are you familiar with the movie business? The humans filmed them in these large buildings. They’ve been abandoned for months now, which works for us, since we have a tanker that needs repairs and we can keep it inside while we work on it. Actually, these buildings are each large enough for several shuttles. The one we’re in has a couple of small offices in it, and a refrigerator where we can keep food. All we really need is cages for animals, and we’d be living in relative luxury.”

* * * *

Damian kept up his friendly chatter for the rest of the drive and explained that Paul had already told him about her medical condition. Before she could even think of a way to respond, he had changed the subject, telling her about the other fifth columnists she would be living with. Blaine and Alan were both low-level security guards and had been on the surface for a couple of months. They had both been active in the fifth column, although Alan had some doubts about the intelligence of humans. In his defense, he had never interacted with any of them. Ted was from the cryogenics unit and had worked extensively with humans on the surface, assisting in the manufacture of the chemical the Visitors claimed to need to save their world. Like the others, he strongly believed in the fifth column’s cause, and was endlessly curious about human culture. He also held the highest rank and was the leader of their small group, by unspoken agreement. Darlene was the only female in their unit, and Kim’s stomach knotted when Damian confided Darlene’s opinion that the humans were as dumb as rats. 

“Then why is she involved in the fifth column?” Kim couldn’t help but ask in a subdued voice.

“Because she wants the Leader to be overthrown, and the fifth column is the only organized force that opposes him,” he answered in a tone that matched hers. He went on to confide that none of them really liked Darlene so much as they tolerated her. After all, where else could she go?

* * * *

Kim couldn’t help but gawk at the numerous buildings that covered the studio lot and hoped her curiosity didn’t seem too out of place.

Damian watched her and smiled. “Amazing, isn’t it, the amount of space they have to build in?”

Kim knew that on the Sirian home world, cities started at the surface and tunneled underground. The surface was mostly barren and uninhabitable, with wildly fluctuating temperatures. Being underground assisted greatly in climate control, a vital necessity for ectothermic beings such as the Visitors. Heat from the surface was simply redistributed to the lower levels as needed. She nodded absently at Damian’s comment and continued to watch the scenery.

He pulled the car right up to a door on the end of one of the buildings, and it opened obligingly. As he pulled the vehicle inside, Kim caught a glimpse of the Visitor who was standing guard and had opened the door for him. 

That’s Darlene,” Damian said quietly, confirming her suspicion as he drove towards the center of the building. “Don’t be surprised if she starts in with the anti-human comments immediately. It’s just the way she is,” he warned before turning off the engine. 

Kim got out carefully, removing her sunglasses so she could better look around. The vast space dwarfed the tanker shuttle that had been parked at the end furthest from the door they had come through. Nearby, light spilled from an open door, and the table of food partly visible inside the room indicated to Kim this was one of the offices Damian had talked about. He led her instead to the other office, where a Visitor in human clothing was listening to messages being sent between shuttles and the mothership. Salvaged equipment from shuttles and cars had been assembled on the desk. The cramped space also housed a filing cabinet and four straight-backed chairs. The menagerie of wires and other devices on the desk evoked images of an electrician practicing knot-tying with the tools of his craft. Still, the sound was clear as different Visitors communicated from their vehicles. 

“Karen, this is Ted.”

Kim took another step forward and prepared to grasp his hand when another voice interrupted. “So, are you infatuated with the humans, too?”

Kim turned and made an effort to keep her expression pleasant. “I admit I’m somewhat partial to the species, yes. You must be Darlene.” Kim held up her hand, which Darlene ignored, so she dropped it back to her side. She glanced at Damian, who quirked a corner of his mouth at her and rolled his eyes. 

“Darlene, have you been relieved?”

She sighed belligerently. “No, Ted. I just came to say hello,” she snapped at him before heading back to her post.

Kim turned back to Ted and grasped the offered hand. “Is she always so....” Kim broke off, searching for the right word.

“Obnoxious? I fear so,” Ted said as he rose to his feet. “She blames the humans for every discomfort that befalls her. Welcome.” His mask was patterned after the people native to East Asia, although she was uncertain which country he would be native to if he were from Earth. Kim estimated she was an inch or so taller than the Visitor.

He turned his attention next to Damian, who stood protectively at her elbow. “Any problems?”

Damian shook his head. “Paul sent more money,” he answered, handing Ted a wad of cash that Kim estimated to be about a hundred dollars. Ted took it and placed it in a drawer of the desk at which he had been sitting.

Kim knelt and opened her duffel bag. Pushing aside her uniform, she fished out the cash she had obtained. “I have a human contact, also, who gave me some currency,” Kim said and handed two hundred dollars over to him. It was all she had stored in her house, although she knew she could get more from an automatic teller using the bank card still hidden in the bag.

“Your contact, is he or she a member of the resistance?” Ted asked.

“No. She’s been working independently of the other humans. I’m supposed to call her every few days to check for new messages from some fifth columnists who may not know how to contact Paul. She can be trusted.”

Ted nodded. “Why don’t you put your things in the shuttle and get familiar with your new surroundings. We can show you how to work this unique collection of equipment later. I know it can seem disorienting to be off the ship, but you’re fortunate to be here at all. And don’t let Darlene taint your view of the humans.”

“I don’t think anything Darlene says could change my view of them, but I may try to change her views.”

“If you succeed, we’ll send Diana to you for treatment next,” Damian muttered, loudly enough for both of them to hear, then nodded his head towards the tanker. “I’ll show you which bunk you can claim in the shuttle.”

Kim picked up her bag and followed him across the concrete floor and up the ramp. The back section of the tanker had three tiers of bunks that folded up into the walls when not in use. Since the tanker was not in active service, the bunks had been left down and several had uniforms and civilian clothes lying on them. 

Damian removed the clothing from the lowest bunk on the back wall and moved it to the bunk above it. “Take the bottom one, it will be easier to get in and out of as time goes on,” he said kindly.

Kim set her bag on it and nodded in agreement. She hoped none of her roommates snored, then belatedly wondered if any Visitors did. 

“You hungry?”

“A little.”

“Then I’ll show you where the food is kept.”

The glimpse of the table she’d had when she had first arrived had been too brief to allow for identification of the contents. Now, on closer inspection, she had to fight not to laugh. To try to cover her amusement, she handled some of the items and feigned amazement. “What is all of this?”

“I have no idea. Most of it is cheap, so it doesn’t matter. There were a few things that started to smell bad and turn strange colors, so we got rid of them. If you want to try them, I see little risk for you.”

Kim looked over the array. Two five-pound bags of flour, a jar of mayonnaise, and a box of cereal were piled next to cans of green beans and soup. There were bags of uncooked noodles and rice, boxes of instant pudding and gelatin, and a bottle of... was that syrup? Kim moved the rice that was hiding it and picked up the bottle: maple syrup. She also spotted a container of vegetable shortening, packages of cookies, and a jar of spiced salt. It was painfully obvious that the individual who had selected these items for purchase had no concept of how they were to be prepared or used. And without so much as a manual can-opener, even the soup was inaccessible to her. 

She picked up one of the cans. “How are these supposed to be opened?”

“Now that you mention it...” Damian took it from her and turned it over in his hands. “I don’t know. I’m sure they have some tool to use.”

“I think I would like to visit a store where these things were purchased.”

“Sure. One of us will probably go within the next couple of days,” Damian agreed, then retrieved packages of meat from the refrigerator. Kim took a large handful of hamburger and ingested it slowly while Damian devoured several pieces of chicken. The raw meat, which once made her ill on sight, now tasted delicious. Would it have the same appeal to her once the time of her pregnancy had passed?

“Where is everyone else?” she asked between mouthfuls.

“Alan’s warning another group of a raid. Blaine is probably mingling with troops on the street. We all take shifts, and only have one person stand guard during the day, simply because there are so few of us. At night, two keep watch.”

“How much useful information comes from monitoring? I can’t imagine it’s very interesting.”

“Actually, quite a bit. The fifth column on the ship hides messages on another frequency and gives us a lot of news that way. I’ve rigged a decoder that separates that signal from the main one. We’ve set up a recording system for those hidden messages, so you don’t have to scramble to memorize every word. They’ve also been broadcasting warnings to the humans from the beginning, but so far it doesn’t look like anyone has found them.” Damian couldn’t hide his pride at his own involvement in the operation. Though the lack of human response had been disappointing, it was always possible they had found the messages and simply neglected to reply.

“What’s Martin like?” he asked, changing the subject.

“What do you mean?”

“You know his reputation! Everyone says he’s aloof, stuck on following procedure, keeps to himself. But then he surprised all of us by claiming a consort, one that wasn’t known to be fifth column.”

“News travels,” Kim said wryly.

“Fifth column gossip is the best kind. Why’d he pick you?” he persisted.

“I’m hardly the only one to use that guise to convey information to him.”

“No, but you’re the most recent, most visible, and I dare say, longest lasting,” Damian said.

Damn his charm! Even by Visitor standards, his questions were rather direct and unexpected. Yet his charisma disarmed her before she could even think of being annoyed. “Let’s just say I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“You threatened him?” Damian was incredulous.

“Of course not! I simply had access to information he could obtain nowhere else.” Kim hoped that was enough of an answer and changed the subject. “Tell me about Darlene.”

“Not much to tell. She won’t talk about her past. Won’t even say why she had to leave the ship. But the column has confirmed her loyalty in spite of her attitude, so we tolerate her.”

“So, it’s possible she has never met a human, even though she claims to hate them.”

“It’s not like the humans come up to the ship looking for conversation.”

Kim smiled back at him, feeling more secure in her role now that the topic was moving further away from herself. “Are all the other buildings like this one, or do they have things in them?”

“I don’t know. Ted found this place; you could ask him.”

“I will. I was thinking it might be worth looking to see what might be in them. If they made movies here, they must have had furniture and other items. Maybe there is something we could use to cage animals. We could move them here after it gets dark. If you have time now, I’m willing to go look. With two of us, I would think it is safe enough.”

“Good idea. Do you have a firearm?”

“In the shuttle.”

“Go get it while I ask him.”

Kim nodded and went to do as he requested. If they could find the props building, surely they could find some decent chairs and other items to make this place more comfortable. And there had to be something that could be used for cages. And then she could get animals and supplies at some pet stores. Andy always favored the store... Kim’s thoughts broke off abruptly as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. It was best not to dwell on such things. Today was what she had to think about, today and the living. If she could make life easier for the fifth columnists, maybe she could forget her own misery.

* * * *

 “Hello?” Judy’s voice came through the receiver.

“It’s me. Don’t say my name,” Kim said quickly. The sound of Judy’s voice made her long for home. She paused, waiting for a person to pass her before she continued.

“Are you all right?” Judy asked.

“Yes. I’m at a pay phone, so it can’t be traced to where I’m staying. I’m doing okay. Are there any messages?”

“No. But you did have a couple of friends come through here awhile ago. Your... sister and her gentleman friend.”

Kim realized Judy was referring to Jackie and Philip. “How were they?”

“Your sister has seen better times, but the other one was taking good care of her. Said he knew you.”

Kim smiled at the knowledge that Philip had been thinking of her. “Did they set out for the rising sun?”

There was silence while Judy deciphered her meaning. Rising sun? Kim must mean east, to Phoenix. “Yes,” she answered.

“Okay. I’ll call in about a week. Try not to worry. I’m in less danger now than I was before. Believe that. ’Bye.” Kim hung up before Judy had a chance to reply. 

Unbidden tears came to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, willing herself to bury the emotion and return to the sound stage. She had volunteered to go to the store this time, so that she could call Judy from the pay phone located outside the store. It had also provided her with an opportunity to add her own choices to the assortment of provisions at the sound stage.

She braced her hand against the building and bent her knees, reaching for the handles of the plastic bags sitting at her feet. Being pregnant was not much fun; it was changing her body in too many ways. Next time, she would remember to call before doing the shopping.

* * * *

 “I don’t think we can wait any longer,” Megan said, rolling onto her back. She and Philip had retreated to one of the bedrooms upstairs, knowing Drew was monitoring Jackie’s activities. Her hand toyed with the hem of the sheet that Philip had drawn across them. “She isn’t getting better. If anything, she’s getting worse.”

Philip sighed. The Visitors had decided amongst themselves to wait another week after the incident with the piano to see if her mental condition would stabilize. They had believed it had, until Jackie confided this morning that she was beginning to experience a strong compulsion to return to the mothership. “We need to think of a way to get her to Los Angeles without encountering any troops, and I don’t think it’s possible.”

“We can’t stay here forever. If we do, I think Drew will head for the ship himself,” Megan replied.

“I don’t understand his attitude,” Philip said.

Megan turned her head to look at him. “He didn’t join the fifth column by choice. He never wanted to get involved.”

“Neither did I. That’s no excuse.”

“What do you mean? You broke Jackie out of custody and left the ship with her.”

“That was the second time I left the ship. The first time was not by choice,” he said softly, watching her reactions carefully. 

“Go on,” Megan prodded.

Philip hesitated. Should he tell her the truth? The sense of isolation he felt was becoming unbearable. Megan had proven herself in many ways to him with her loyalty to Jackie and her fierce determination to aid the fifth column. And in the short time he had known her, she had become a close friend, someone he could depend on to watch his back. He’d already taken a greater risk when he had decided to trust Kim. 

Remembering that decided him. “I was assigned to take a human scientist into custody. We went to her house looking for her. I went to the basement, where she took me prisoner. She had hidden rooms down there, and when the others came looking for me, it appeared that I had vanished.” 

Megan’s look was one of astonishment. “How did you escape?”

“I didn’t. The door had a special lock on it, and I didn’t get time to myself to try to figure it out. At first I assumed she’d try to torture me, or use me for some of her experiments. But all she wanted from me was information. She never threatened me or harmed me in any way. On the contrary, I ended up helping her figure out how to infiltrate the ship to find her brother. When she was ready, I decided to go back to the ship myself.”

“Weren’t you questioned about your absence?”

“They never knew I was missing. The real Jacob is dead. I took his mask and assumed his role, just as Kim did for another Visitor.”

“This woman, Kim, where is she now?”

“On the ship, active within the fifth column. It was through her I was asked to get Jackie out. Kim knows her, and got permission from the column for her to be released. Jackie and I actually met once, at Kim’s house, but she doesn’t realize I’m the same person. Nor does she know where Kim is. When I first got her off the ship, I didn’t know how much damage had been done, so told her nothing. And the way she is now, I still don’t think she should be told.”

“I agree,” Megan said, then sat up, trying to absorb this new information. “Kim is on the ship, as one of us, and no one knows?” The disbelief she felt was evident in her voice.

“One other fifth columnist on the ship knows, and is helping her. But she is living life as we would, including eating our food.”

“The human culture views sexual relations very differently,” she said, looking sideways at him.

“Yes, but she quickly moved past that. Believe me, she can play her part very convincingly,” he said, amused at her surprise.

Megan just stared at him.

“Someone had to show her,” Philip added in a matter-of-fact tone before smiling at her.

“Show me,” Megan asked.

“What?” His brow furrowed. What did Megan need to know about lovemaking? She had already proven herself to be quite knowledgeable on the subject.

“The human way. Show me,” she said and lay down next to him again. He seemed hesitant, so she encouraged him. “I admit to curiosity, and have no desire to learn from a human,” she whispered seductively before she intertwined her tongue with his. This was going to be very interesting. His touch had been maddeningly exotic from the beginning, and now she believed she knew why. Without realizing it, he had adopted some of the ways of the human woman he had aided. There was no telling what other delights awaited her. They could decide how to deal with Jackie later. 

* * * *

Much later in the afternoon, Philip and Megan went downstairs to relieve Drew of his shift. They found Jackie in the kitchen, staring at a round gray object that sat on the table before her.

“What is that?” Megan asked in passing, preoccupied with finding something to eat. She opened the freezer and began to sort through the pitiful selection yet again, hoping that this time a new option awaited her.

“It’s how we’re going to get to L.A. without me getting us all killed,” Jackie said in a disaffected tone.

Megan shut the freezer door and turned to Jackie, who now had her full attention. “What is it?”

“Duct tape.” Jackie tossed it into the air and caught it easily in her left hand. “Catch,” she said and tossed it to Philip.

He turned it over in his hands, then looked back at Jackie. “What is your idea?”

“You all have uniforms. The fastest way to get back to Los Angeles is on a shuttle. Capturing a human resistance member who escaped from custody once before should be reason enough to be given a shuttle.” Jackie stared hard at the roll of tape. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be in control of my actions. But if you bind my hands with that, and tape my mouth shut, it won’t matter. I won’t be able to say anything to give us away, and no amount of struggling will free my hands from that tape, believe me. So it won’t matter if I give in to the compulsions Diana programmed me with. What chance does one brain-damaged trussed-up human stand against the three of you?”

“Jackie, even being on a shuttle could enhance the effects of the conversion. Are you sure you want to take that risk?” Philip asked, concerned. Another part of him had already decided it was the only chance they had of getting to the L.A. fifth column.

“Anything is better than sitting here. Physically, I’m fine. So let’s go somewhere where I can be locked up safely while you help the resistance. We can go to my friend Kim’s house while you try to contact the column. There is a hidden room in the basement, with only one exit to guard. Kim may have found the resistance by now, and left me a message on how to contact her. If not, you’ll have to contact the column on your own. You can decide what we are to do after that, and what to do with me.” 

Jackie’s voice grew increasingly soft and Megan and Philip had to step closer to her so they could hear her next words. “We can’t stay here much longer anyway. It is too easy for me to escape and you cannot imagine how strong these compulsions are becoming.” Jackie bowed her head, not wanting them to see the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks.

Philip lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I promise you, I will not let you go back to the ship. Diana is not going to practice her arts on you again.”

Jackie looked back at him with anguished eyes. “She doesn’t need to. The damage has already been done.”

* * * *

Life at the sound stage had settled into a comfortable routine for Kim. She felt at ease with the Visitors in a way she never had while on the ship, mainly because she knew her current companions could be trusted. Although she still continued her masquerade, she knew that a slip would only invoke Darlene’s wrath, rather than the fatal consequences she had faced on the ship. The pseudoskin covering her abdomen was stretched taught, but it appeared to Kim that it still had enough give to it to last through her entire pregnancy, if need be.

In sharp contrast to the other Visitors, Darlene was a source of constant irritation. Kim had tried to be patient, tried to initiate conversations with the abrasive woman, but Darlene made it clear her advances were unwelcome. The Visitor was both alone and miserable, and seemed intent on remaining that way. After several attempts, Kim resigned herself to the situation and left her alone.

* * * *

 “I can’t believe we’re risking our lives to save these idiots,” Darlene snapped.

She was taking her turn monitoring the radio. Although Kim and Damian were in the next room eating, they could hear her easily. Damian leaned closer to Kim and said softly. “Here comes the announcement of the latest troop success.”

“The entire town of Huntington Beach has been taken up to the ship. And there is not a single reported incidence of resistance. Not one!” They heard Darlene say.

Kim fought back a giggle. The Visitors didn’t laugh on their own in response to humor, but a few had adopted the mannerism to better emulate humans. She knew if she dissolved into uncontrollable fits of laughter, the noise, combined with the tears running down her cheeks, would expose her identity. 

“Now comes the commentary on their lack of intelligence,” Damian whispered conspiratorially. 

Darlene continued on cue. “How can they be so stupid? Tens of thousands of them are missing, and the ones left behind don’t even notice.”

“Next she’ll mock the Leader,” Damian said. His eyes twinkled at Kim as they waited for Darlene to make her next comment.

“We’re supposed to be overthrowing the Leader, not forwarding his causes,” Darlene declared loudly.

Kim looked at Damian and raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t what he had predicted.

Damian winked at her, then raised his voice. “Darlene, you forgot to mock the Leader. You’re supposed to do that BEFORE you restate the fifth column goals, not after.”

Kim’s jaw dropped at the audacity of his comment and he simply shrugged his shoulders at her. 

“Mock me all you want, Damian,” Darlene fired back. “You know I’m right, even if you won’t admit it. We’re risking our lives to save six billion hairy idiots.”

Kim’s own temper flared and she jumped into the exchange. “And they never asked a bunch of scaly, arrogant tyrants to harvest them as dinner!” She marched to the next room, Damian following behind her. “You judge them so harshly for how they view us, for the necessity of the masks... you mock their ignorance, insult their intelligence, and refuse to try to understand them. Tell me this, Darlene, since you’re so much better than they are. How did you react when you first saw a human? Were you taken with their beauty? Or repulsed? Did you look forward to putting on the pseudoskin, or dread it? You judge them harshly for their reactions to us... did you ever stop to consider you’re just as xenophobic as they are? And worst of all, you have the gall to proclaim your superiority over people you don’t even know.”

“And how many humans do you know?” Darlene retorted.

“More than you do, I guarantee it,” Kim said through clenched teeth. She could feel her face growing hot under the pseudoskin and she knew her eyes were smoldering. 

“Name them,” Darlene challenged.

“After you,” Kim countered. Darlene hesitated, groping for any name she could think of. Kim watched her jaw work, and she advanced to where the hostile Visitor was sitting. “I thought not. You can’t even name one. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up,” Kim said, then turned and strode out of the office. She had lost her appetite, and instead of returning to the food room, she retreated into the shuttle. As angry as she was at Darlene, she was frustrated with herself for allowing Darlene to provoke her. She flung herself into one of the seats in the cockpit and stared at the darkened windows, waiting for the fit of anger to pass.

Damian had followed her, and he sat down in the other seat in the cockpit. “Feel better?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Actually...” Kim turned towards him and saw his grin. Her own anger dissipated and she broke into a smile. “That felt wonderful! I’m ashamed to say it, but I’ve wanted to do that for days!”

“We all have, and I admit I enjoyed watching you give it to her.” He got up and moved over to the exposed panel behind his seat. “So, how did you first react?”

“To what?”

“The thought of pretending to be human, knowing you’d have to wear the pseudoskin,” he clarified as he began to work. His self-assigned task was to rewire the shuttle circuitry so the ship would function without the homing device he had removed. 

Kim often kept him company while he labored, and he seemed to enjoy their conversations as much as she did. Many conversations were about Earth and its inhabitants, a topic she was quite comfortable with. When the conversation moved in the direction of their own pasts, she was usually able to steer it away from herself by getting him to do most of the talking. She would offer up an observation, and he would expand upon it, leaving her to sit back and absorb whatever he chose to divulge. On occasion, though, he asked his disconcertingly direct questions and she groped for answers that were at least partially truthful. This was such a time.

She swung her seat around so it faced him and propped her feet up on the other seat. “Well, more than anything else, I saw posing as a different species to be a challenge. There are so many things to remember, from body language to cultural taboos. I guess I mainly felt overwhelmed. What about you?”

“Not so fast.” He paused from his task and looked intently at her. “Not even a twinge of revulsion?”

Kim thought back to her first conversations with Philip, then shook her head. Surprise, interest, fascination... she had felt all of those. But revulsion? She could honestly say she didn’t remember having that feeling, so she shook her head.

“How did you manage to avoid that?” he asked before turning back to the task before him.

“I really don’t know,” Kim said, then turned his inquiry back on him. “What about you? How did you react?”

“I was repulsed, at first. But the more I learned about them, the more I realized how similar we are, in spite of our differences,” he admitted.

Kim’s hand absently went to her growing abdomen. “More similar than any of us realized,” she said too softly for him to hear.

“Now I just hope we can win this war so I get a chance to know them better,” he added.

“Even if we don’t win, I’m certain you’ll get your chance,” Kim said quietly

“You sound confident,” he commented.

Kim smiled to herself, but said nothing.

* * * *

As they had feared, Jackie deteriorated visibly after they boarded the shuttle. Even though her arms were bound behind her and her mouth taped, she had struggled to reach the loyal guards of the craft, and then the pilot. Behind the looks of hatred she kept throwing towards her friends there was a glimmer of awareness, a sense that she knew what she was doing and was helpless to stop herself. 

Philip finally gave up hope that she would be able to control herself and pushed her down into a chair. He held her there firmly while Megan fastened a restraining belt over her lap. They dared not even squeeze her shoulder in silent encouragement; it was too risky, given the presence of their pilot. Essential personal belongings had been crammed into one duffel bag and were being brought along under the guise of evidence against the prisoner. Fortunately, no one had questioned them and looked inside, where they would have seen contact lens cases and civilian clothing- hardly the tools of warfare.

Drew kept a neutral appearance, trying to act the part of a disinterested guard. Megan suspected it wasn’t much of an effort for him and cast that problem from her mind. They had enough to deal with without her creating additional problems.

“Taking her to the L.A. ship, huh? Must be a real prize you got there, if you’re taking her to Diana,” the pilot said as he shut the ramp behind them and slid into his seat at the controls.

“Indeed. Diana will be most pleased when we arrive,” Megan replied coolly. She glanced at Philip. A talkative pilot was the last thing they needed! He looked back at her with the same thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

Megan turned her attention to Jackie and watched as the human’s gaze darted around the interior of the craft. Clearly, she was looking for a weapon, or some way to escape. Resigned, Megan drew out the roll of duct tape she had put in the vest of her uniform and tore off a large piece. She tried to ignore the pleading look in Jackie’s eyes as she focused instead on pressing the tape into place, effectively blindfolding her. Philip glanced at her grimly, then nodded his agreement.

* * * *

As they neared L.A., Megan moved to the front of the craft and sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. Drew casually walked up behind her, still out of sight of the pilot, but ready to assist if necessary. 

“Are we almost there?” Megan asked innocently.

“Affirmative. Would you like to radio ahead and have extra guards summoned to take charge of your prisoner? It would free you to reap the benefits of Diana’s praise immediately upon arrival.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Megan said smoothly as she turned in her chair and aimed her laser pistol at him. “We aren’t going to the mothership. If you try to radio for backup, you’ll be dead in an instant.”

“As you wish. We fifth columnists always help each other, right?”

Megan’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him, but she felt a hesitation in her gut. It was possible he was allied with the fifth column. “Then prove yourself. Name your fifth column commander.”

“The one directly above me, or the commander on the L.A. ship?” the soldier said smoothly.

“Either.” Damn, he was good, she thought to herself. Still, this could be a trap. “No, both,” she said, amending her previous statement. She watched him carefully. Any second now, he’d either try to disarm her or speak a name. She saw his hands tremble at the controls and she fired into his side, killing him instantly. Then she laid her pistol in her lap and turned her attention to the console that controlled their flight. “Jacob,” she called, summoning him. 

He left Jackie and moved into the forward section, and Drew moved to the rear to keep an eye on Jackie. “Yes?”

“Where should we set down? Jackie said she wanted to go back to the place you were before. Do you know where it is?”

“I think I can find it,” he said, lifting the body of the dead pilot out of the other seat so he could sit there. They would have to dispose of that later. For now, he needed to help Megan. With regret at the necessity for the killing, he left the man’s limp form in a crumpled heap on the floor behind him. “But we’ll need to set down somewhere nearby, then go the rest of the way by car. A sentry point would probably give us the best access.”

“As soon as they find his body, they’ll know to come after us,” Megan reminded him as she glanced at the corpse.

“Not if there is no body here for them to find,” he replied as he took over the controls and turned the shuttle to head out over the ocean. 

* * * *

Philip pounded on the back door to Judy’s home, hoping she would answer the door. They had hidden the car in the garage next door, though Philip didn’t let on that he had been to Kim’s house before, other than answering an inquiring nod from Megan with a nod of his own. Jackie was still bound and blindfolded, and Philip and Megan had each taken one of Jackie’s arms firmly in their own, guiding her and supporting her when she stumbled. 

Philip tried not to show his relief when the door opened.

“Jacob...” Judy started to greet him. Through the security peephole, she had recognized his face. Now, with the door open, she realized he was not alone, and that Jackie was bound and gagged. “Come on in,” she said, recovering. She swung the door wide and stepped aside.

“We need something to cut the tape on her hands. A knife, perhaps?” Philip suggested as Drew pushed the door shut behind him.

“Mom?” Jeremy asked softly, coming into the room.

Jackie’s head lifted, turning towards the sound of her son’s voice.

With one hand still under her arm exerting gentle pressure, Philip guided Jackie forward into the kitchen. He took the knife Judy offered and worked at the tape binding her hands while Jeremy gently removed the tape from her mouth. 

As soon as her hands came free, she massaged her wrists to restore circulation to the stiff joints. Then she carefully pulled the tape from her eyes. Thankfully, Megan had placed the tape very gently across her face, and only a few lashes came loose in the adhesive as she pulled the tape away. Blinking in the sudden brightness, she opened her arms and hugged Jeremy to her. “You’ve grown,” she said in a hoarse voice. 

Judy produced a glass of water in record time and handed it to her. She gulped it appreciatively, still hugging Jeremy with her other arm. “I’m glad we don’t have to do that again any time soon.” She turned to the Visitors who were watching her carefully. “Thanks. Sorry I was such a handful. It was worse than I thought it was going to be.”

“What was?” Jeremy asked.

“The effects of the brainwashing I endured when I was on the ship. Suffice it to say, Diana was more effective than we first thought.” She leaned heavily on her son, feeling fatigued. “Can we go sit down?”

“I’m sorry! Where are my manners? Come in, sit down. Can I get any of you anything?” Judy asked, recovering from shock.

“Water,” Drew said quietly. Finally, someone was going to notice he was here!

“How about you?” Judy asked, looking at Megan, then Philip. They both nodded. “Go sit down. I’ll bring it in.” 

Philip hung back, waiting for the others to go to the living room. “Have you heard from Kim?” he asked softly while Judy retrieved glasses from the cupboard.

She bowed her head. “She left a note for me a few weeks ago. Andy’s dead.” The tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to ignore them. “She calls every few days now, asking if you or a couple of others have come. She will be calling again today or tomorrow, I expect. Do I dare tell Jackie?” Judy filled two glasses and handed them to Philip to carry.

“She’s going to ask, so it can’t be avoided. Just don’t mention my involvement. She still doesn’t know about that,” Philip said, as she filled more glasses and then picked up the drinks to take in. He waited for her nod and then followed her into the living room where the others were already seated.

“Here,” Judy said, handing the glasses of water to the two Visitors who were sitting on her living room sofa. “By the way, my name is Judy, and that’s Jackie’s son, Jeremy,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Thank you,” Megan said, accepting the drink gratefully. “I’m Megan, and this is Drew.”

Philip looked around the room, thinking of the last time he had been here. Jeremy and Jackie were on the adjacent love seat. One of the dogs, the larger one that had barked and carried on when Philip and Jackie had first come, was lying quietly on the floor by the fireplace, per Jeremy’s command. The smaller dog, Philip noted, was squirming within Jeremy’s grasp, and Judy took him into her own arms in an attempt to calm him as she sat down in a nearby chair, leaving the rocking chair for Philip.

“Have you heard from Kim?” Jackie asked, accepting the glass of water Philip offered her.

“Yes.” Judy looked at the floor, then at Jackie. “She’s okay, but... Andy’s dead.”

“No.” Jackie held a fist to her mouth, rocking slightly as she assimilated the horrible news. Tears streamed down her cheeks unheeded. “How?”

“I don’t know. Kim left me a note in her house several weeks ago. All she said was that Andrew was dead and that he hadn’t suffered. Since then, she has been calling every few days, to see if anyone has come here to get in touch with her. If the pattern holds, she’ll call today or tomorrow.”

“Has she said where she is? What she’s doing?”

“She tells me very little and always calls from a pay phone. She has told me that she is in less danger now than she was before.”

“And we’re supposed to find that comforting? I guess we can stay here until she calls. It sounds like she’s connected to the resistance somehow, and we can join up through her. I do want to check her house, though. She may have left another message there.”

Mentally, Philip echoed her sentiments. Sometime tonight he had to get over there.

“What happened in Phoenix?” Jeremy broke in, changing the subject back to his mother. 

“Don’t ask,” she answered softly.

“Are you going to be okay? Are you still bleeding?” Jeremy persisted.

“I’ll be fine, honey. And my stomach has healed. After all these years, I finally have washboard abs. Remind me to thank Diana for that someday,” she joked bitterly and pulled him to her for another hug. She had no desire to recall the hell she had endured as the conversion’s effects became more evident. The journey from Phoenix today was something she never wanted to think about again. Diana’s physical tortures couldn’t come close to inflicting the pain she had endured as she was trapped inside a body that responded to commands not her own. The compulsion to return to the mothership had overwhelmed her. Had it not been for the duct tape that kept her helpless, she would have betrayed them all. 

* * * *

Martin lay in bed trying desperately to find solace in sleep. What was the passage Karen had recited one night as they discussed the terrifying existence they led on the ship? “The masses of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” She’d attributed it to Henry David Thoreau, though the reference meant nothing to him. Quiet desperation. The phrase had echoed in his mind since that night. It certainly described his life now. Endless shifts that blurred into double shifts, followed by hours of fifth column activity under the guise of relaxation— that was his existence. It could hardly be called a life.

He was back in circulation as far as the female soldiers were concerned, often using this guise to escort fifth column contacts to his quarters or to private alcoves elsewhere on the ship. While he was promoting Karen as his consort, he had curtailed, although not ceased, his other dalliances. Not that he had wanted to circulate.... He’d tired of such activity long before this mission. Endless years at the clinic had cured him of wanderlust long ago. But in a culture where every look, every glance, was monitored, there were few other ways of spreading fifth column information. Of course, some companions were carefully selected for the fact they were loyalists, to muddy the pattern should any of the columnists, especially himself, be exposed. And after garnering so much attention for his relationship with Karen, he had little choice but to continue in the pattern for awhile. 

Martin rolled onto his side and watched Lorraine sleep in the bunk beside him. Her blonde hair was fanned out beside her and he reached out to brush an errant lock away from her face. She’d kept him sane these past few weeks. Though they had never discussed the banquet, they didn’t need to. They shared a silent understanding and comforted each other in the only way they could. 

He sighed and closed his eyes. Despite Lorraine’s presence, the bunk felt empty. Sleep eluded him and he had to force himself to lie still for Lorraine’s sake. He ran a hand along her arm and tried to pretend it was Karen there with him. Every morning when he woke, he half-expected to find her beside him again, whispering sarcastic comments in his ear that he knew were carefully crafted to put distance between them and the dangers of the day. He wanted to feel her warm breath against his skin, one aspect of her physiology she had been unable to disguise. He wanted to feel her strange tongue clash against his own, have her hands massage the tension from his neck and back. He’d give anything to be off the ship, away from this madness. He’d seen the ocean, and he wanted to walk along the shore with her. Just for a few hours, he wanted to forget about duty and sacrifice and honor and lose himself in the human’s embrace. Quiet desperation. Henry had been a wise man, indeed. 

* * * *

Not long after their conversation had worn down into a comfortable silence, the phone rang. Judy answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“Your sister and some... extended family are here.” Judy said, nodding to Jackie’s inquiring look. Jackie gestured that she wanted to talk to her, and Judy nodded again.

“How many others?” Kim asked.

“Three.”

“A fifth columnist named Karen will come for them tonight and take them someplace safe. I have to go.”

Judy stared at the dead receiver in her hand. “She hung up.”

Jackie gaped at her. “What did she say?”

Judy related the terse message.

“That’s it?” Jackie was incredulous. “Does she know who you meant by her sister?”

“Of course she knows. She said she had to go.” Judy looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Usually she talks a little bit longer than that. It sounds to me like you aren’t going to be getting much sleep tonight. Let me get the beds ready so you can all try to get some sleep while you’re able to.” Judy stood up and motioned for Jeremy to stay with his mother.

“Jackie, you said you wanted to go to Kim’s house. Why don’t we do that now, before Karen comes,” Philip suggested smoothly. He and Megan had exchanged a look while he said Karen’s real name, and she raised an eyebrow at the slight emphasis he put on the word. 

He nodded confirmation, and she shook her head slightly in amazement. She was going to see for herself how effective, or ineffective, Kim’s disguise was. She expected to fool her own friend Jackie, whom she had known for years. Either Kim was very naive about her own ability, or very confident. 

“I can go myself,” Jackie said, not wanting to reveal the secret laboratory.

“Under the circumstances, I don’t think so,” Philip told her gently, trying to ignore the hurt look she gave him before looking away.

“Jackie...” Megan started to assuage the effect Philip’s words had elicited.

Jackie held up a hand and cut her off. “Let’s just get it done.”

“I’ll wait here,” Drew said, making no move to leave his comfortable seat on the couch.

Megan nodded agreement, and tried not to show her relief that Drew was staying behind. Now she was free to focus on helping Philip, who had said he needed to get to Kim’s basement before they departed and retrieve a message Kim had left for him, addressed to his prior identity. He had asked her to distract Jackie if necessary, while he went next door by himself. Since that was no longer an option, maybe she could distract Jackie long enough for him to retrieve the note without drawing undue attention. 

After the grueling day, it was difficult to give up the soft haven of the couch. Reluctantly, she pulled herself to her feet.

“Jeremy, stay here, and please don’t argue with me,” Jackie said. She stood up stiffly and massaged her wrists again. 

Her son sank back into his seat with insolent obedience, saying nothing.

* * * *

Once inside Kim’s house, Jackie headed immediately for the basement and the hidden opening in the fake wall. “After her fiancé died, Kim was a bit.... unstable. She had this hidden laboratory built, and kept it secret from everyone but me. It seemed harmless enough, considering the comfort it appeared to bring her. I never dreamed how useful it would be,” Jackie explained, opening the panel. She groped a moment for the light switch, then led them downstairs to the door which opened into the lab.

On the counter lay two plain envelopes. One had her name on it, the other was addressed to Philip. Jackie picked up hers and turned to go.

Megan stopped her. “Wait a minute. I’d like to see the rest of this place. How big is it?” Megan’s curiosity was genuine, and Jackie took a moment to show her the other rooms, small as they were. “She hid down here during a search of her house, you said?”

“Yep. The only bad thing about it is you’re trapped with no other way out if you get caught down here,” Jackie said. 

Satisfied with the tour, Megan led Jackie back out to the lab and to the exit. 

Philip was pacing along the far end of the room, and he brought up the rear as they approached the door. As Jackie turned off the lights he quickly slipped the second envelope into his uniform, then followed Megan up the stairs. He wanted to tear the envelope open now and find out what exactly had gone so wrong in Andy’s rescue, but he made himself wait. Jackie’s condition was too fragile for him to reveal himself yet.

* * * *

When they were once again settled back in Judy’s living room, Jackie carefully opened the sealed envelope. She read the note to herself twice and then threw it onto the coffee table. Leaning forward, she buried her face in her hands and even Jeremy’s touch failed to comfort her. The others sat watching silently, wondering what the note had said.

Finally, Judy leaned forward and picked it up. “May I?”

Jackie waved her hand absently without looking up. 

Judy smoothed the creases of the letter, then put on her reading glasses. She took a calming breath to alleviate the trembling in her hands and read aloud:

Jackie,

Judy will help you until I call. I hope you’re recovering okay. I am aware of your experiences on the ship. God, what a nightmare this has been for all of us. Maybe Andy was the lucky one... he died without suffering. He never knew what was happening. More than that I cannot say- it’s too painful to even think about and words fail me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak of what happened. Suffice it to say, it was the worst day of my life, which gives you an idea of how bad the news of his death was.

I’m alive, physically at least. Can’t tell if I still have a soul. Maybe the numbness that has set in is a blessing. Reality is such a fragile thing, and so is my current grip on it.

I can’t stay here. I know that now; I tried. I have to find another place to hide, where I won’t be alone. Don’t know when I’ll see you. If Karen comes in my stead, trust her as you would trust me. 

I need to see you. I need to lean on you, let you be strong for me. But I know you’re probably just as fragile as I am right now. I think if we leaned on each other, we’d both break.

How did this happen? I’ve asked myself that every day. Still, no answers come that satisfy me. I want more out of life than this terrified existence. How did the Jews ever survive the death camps? Where did they get their strength? How can anyone journey to the depths of hell and emerge sane? Can it be done by someone as weak as I am?

I’m so scared, Jackie... so alone. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. And I’m afraid that when we finally do meet, you’ll turn on me, too, once you know... and I couldn’t bear that.

What am I going to do?

Kim

As he listened to Judy read, Philip struggled to maintain his composure. Fortunately, Jackie was far too distracted to notice his failing attempt to look indifferent. It didn’t matter if Judy or Megan noticed. Drew and Jeremy wouldn’t understand or care. He closed his eyes and tried to remember how Kim had sounded the last time he had seen her on the ship. What could have happened to plunge her into such hopeless despair?

Seeing his faltering composure, Judy decided to take action. She got up and touched Jackie’s shoulder gently. “You’re exhausted. You should go rest while you can. The beds are ready.”

“I’ll wait up for Karen,” Philip offered. “Go ahead.”

Megan nodded, feeling her own fatigue, and touched Drew’s knee. Together, they stood and waited for Judy to lead them upstairs.

“Come on, Mom. I’ll sit with you,” Jeremy coaxed, putting his arm around Jackie’s waist. She acquiesced and let him guide her up the staircase behind Drew.

* * * *

Philip closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the rocking chair. He listened to Judy’s voice which was an unintelligible murmur from where he was sitting. Doors opened and closed, and finally silence settled upon the household. Satisfied that he was alone, he drew out the letter Kim had left him and carefully opened the envelope. She’d written the message in Sirian, and opened with an apology at her mangling of grammar. Skimming the passages, he saw a marked improvement in her syntax, no doubt resulting from continued practice with the language while on the ship.

The first part covered the same subject as Jackie’s note- Andrew was dead, she was coping as best she could. She explained how to contact Judy, and explained how she was calling Judy every few days. Soon, though, the text became less guarded. She revealed her despair and deep-seated guilt over Andy’s death, although she revealed no more information concerning the circumstances of his death. She talked of her gratitude to Martin and himself for helping her as they had, and for keeping her sane. She let that lead into her current feelings of isolation, and confided her suicide attempt. He reread that, surprised that she had tried to end her own life.

I never thought I’d attempt suicide, and it’s not something I’m proud of, but I guess it shows the condition I’m in. Condition? God, I’m starting to talk in riddles and double meanings. I didn’t tell you on the ship, since there was absolutely nothing you could do about it, but you may as well know now. Brace yourself. I’m pregnant.

Philip exhaled sharply and looked away from the note for a few minutes. How had she gotten pregnant? As far as he knew, Kim had only been with him or Martin. A human prisoner? Kim would never have agreed... but what else could it be? Stunned, he turned his attention back to her ramblings.

Believe me, you’re not nearly as surprised as I was. But there is no doubt- my clothes don’t fit anymore! As near as I can tell, Martin is the father. You don’t know about Diana’s forays into reproductive biology, but I had to guard a human teenage girl that Diana took to her lab. Whatever she did to Robin to allow conception inadvertently happened to me, too. I don’t know if I’ll even survive the pregnancy, in all honesty. You and Martin were nowhere near the labs, which only adds to the confusion, since this shouldn’t be possible. But the incident in the lab happened early on in the period we both were on board, and you and I were steering clear of each other at the time. 

Do you have any idea how strange this all seems to me? Somehow, you and I both must have overlooked the issue of birth control in our preparations to go up to the ship! I can’t believe any of this is happening, but the reality is within me, growing every day.

I’m scared, Philip. Not due to prejudice, but due to science. What did Diana do to my body to allow this? Did she do anything that will alter my life-span, or my future health? Can I even survive such a pregnancy? I have nowhere to go for information, no way of getting answers to my questions. The uncertainty is growing every day, and my body is changing in ways I don’t understand. Remember how hard it used to be for me to eat raw meat? I crave it now. Even thinking about the smell of meat cooking makes me ill. While that helped on the ship, I don’t know if it’s what I should be eating. The human body has different nutritional needs and I don’t know if those are being met or not. For now, I have yielded to the cravings.

On the other hand, I can thank this unborn child for my life. I tried to take the capsule, but I was physically unable. It’s like the baby itself prevented me from taking my life, and thus its own. Is this the way it is with your people? If so, how are abortions performed? None of my own training in science can help me now. The answers to my questions will not be found in texts on human reproduction. And since I am alone, I have no Sirians to ask either. If I did, at least then I might be able to understand what is normal for your people, and see what experiences of mine fit in with that. 

What place in this war-torn world is there for a hybrid child and his mother? What cruel fate of racial prejudice and irrational fear lies in store for us? Will either species tolerate us? Or will we be hated equally by both sides? And that poor teenage girl I guarded. We got her off the ship. I wonder, is she pregnant, too?

I’m so alone, and I have no way of finding the resistance, if they’d even have me. So I’ve decided to continue on as Karen. At least then I can use the fifth column contacts I know of to find other columnists to stay with. I don’t like to lie to them, but I don’t know if they’ll accept me as a human. And I cannot face being alone right now. I’d rather be a fraud than be by myself. Perhaps, in time, after I get to know the ones I am with, I will find them receptive to human interactions and be able to divulge the truth. I hope so, but I’m not so naive as to think all Sirians are as open-minded as you. I can’t take the chance of being banished, either. As my time of delivery nears, I’m losing agility. And if I’m to die in labor, I’d rather not be all by myself.

God, I wish you were here. I could use a shoulder to cry on. But at least Jackie has you. I pray her mind was not damaged beyond repair. I can’t begin to imagine her reaction to this pregnancy, and I’m going to need her support in the years ahead, assuming the child and I both survive. I hope Judy will rise to the occasion as well. But again, I can’t predict her reaction.

If, for some reason, I have stopped calling Judy, it should be safe to assume I have been captured and/or killed. In that case, please explain to Judy what I did, and give her the option of knowing what I have just told you. She’ll want to know what happened to me, and after all of her help without questions, she deserves that much. Then warn her to leave her house and go into hiding as I did. Perhaps the fifth column would be willing to help her. Maybe this letter will be proof enough of what you and I did for you to be believed. 

Until we meet again,

Kim

Judy found him staring at the pages when she came back downstairs. The markings on the paper were incomprehensible to her, but the look on his face was unmistakable. “She left you a letter, too?” Since when did Kim know how to read and write in their language?

Philip glanced up, surprised to see here there, then nodded. “She attempted suicide.”

“What?” Judy sank onto the couch, stunned. “What stopped her?”

Philip looked at the pages he held and chose his words carefully. “A small bit of life inside her that was able to overcome the despair. I don’t think she’ll try it again. She says she is going somewhere to be with other people, which should help her. When she wrote these notes, she was alone, and had been for a couple of weeks, right after Andy’s death.” He looked up at her. “I’ll find her through Karen. Kim’s trying to protect Jackie right now, and doesn’t want to burden her. I think it’s one reason she hung up the phone so quickly today. She’s protecting you, too.”

“She doesn’t need to,” Judy replied immediately.

“Probably not, but she feels that she must. And some of the reasons she gives are valid- the less you know, the less you can reveal,” Philip said. “But I think she intends to tell you some things eventually, once the current danger has passed.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know. It could be weeks or even months. It depends on how long a particular fifth columnist is able to maintain his role on the mothership. Right now, too many people on the surface know about him, and Kim is one of them. She isn’t going to tell anyone anything until she knows the information she carries cannot possibly be used to harm the column.”

“And if she dies in the meantime, I’ll go to my own grave with questions,” Judy stated quietly. She understood the necessity, and hated it.

“No. If Kim is killed, her information will be mostly obsolete, and I will be free to tell you everything.”

“So I need to try harder to be patient because it means she’s still alive.” Judy sighed. “I’m trying.”

Philip regarded her sympathetically. “Why don’t you tell me what you do know about what’s going on, and I’ll see if I can add to that.”

* * * *

It didn’t take long for Philip to realize that Judy had been helping them in spite of almost total ignorance of the truth. She knew that Andrew had been taken, as well as Jackie’s son. She confessed her own adult daughter Becky was also missing, which was why she had custody of the golden retriever, which was Becky’s guide dog. Conversation had shifted for a few minutes as Philip learned about the integration of disabled persons into society, then returned to the subject of missing people.

Judy was unaware of the Visitors’ reptilian nature or their real mission; apparently Jeremy had not told her about his own conversation with his mother when Jackie had last been here. Philip enlightened her as gently as he could, but it was a difficult conversation for both of them. When Judy expressed disbelief at their physiology, a rolled-up sleeve and a tear in the pseudoskin covering his arm quickly silenced her. She watched him in mute shock and barely disguised horror as he related the harvesting of humans for food. Tears rolled down her cheeks when he explained about the fifth column effort within the ranks, and the hope the column had for defeating the Leader.

He recognized a box of facial tissues and carefully got up from his chair to take them to her. She started slightly when he knelt beside her. Since her eyes were closed and her head bowed, she had been unaware of his approach until he was right beside her. The image of scales was still vivid in her mind. He pretended he didn’t notice her reaction and offered her the box.

She took a tissue, blew her nose, then looked at him strangely as a thought occurred to her. She looked at the tissue clenched in her fist. “Do your people cry?”

He shook his head.

“Then how...”

“I’ve had practice with Kim,” he said and smiled gently. Cautiously, he moved from the floor to the couch beside her. “And from what I’ve observed, fighting the urge doesn’t help.”

Judy choked on a laugh and cried harder in response. Instinctively, she leaned against him for comfort and he put an arm around her. Thus encouraged, the floodgates opened and the tears flowed freely while sobs shook her shoulders. “What happened to Andy? Was he...” She couldn’t speak the word “eaten.”

“I don’t know. It’s always possible. Diana could also have used him in medical experimentation, or something else we don’t even know about. Don’t torture yourself with the thought,” Philip murmured to her. Gently, he stroked her hair and rubbed her back, two things Kim always found to be soothing.

“Does Kim know what you’ve told me?”

“She knows all of it,” Philip answered. He wondered if Judy realized how all-encompassing the word “all” was in his reply. 

Slowly, the sobs eased and finally ceased. He held her still, coaxing her into leaning back in her seat and settling into the curve of his arm. A pile of used tissues was on the couch beside her, the box in her lap. She took a fresh one and wiped once more at her eyes. “What you must think...” She shook her head, embarrassed at her own emotional display. It was still difficult to comprehend that the man holding her was an alien from another planet who wasn’t even human. The cool touch of his flesh helped her believe.

“I think you are very brave. For you to help as many as you have, with as little information as you knew, took great courage.”

“Kim knows I can refuse her nothing,” Judy said, deprecating her own involvement. All she had really done was do as Kim asked, after all.

“You’ve saved lives, including Jackie’s, possibly Kim’s as well,” Philip countered. He could see why Kim had placed such faith in this woman. He wanted to tell her more, tell her that Kim was the one who was coming tonight. Caution held him back. Judy had been traumatized enough today, and burdening her with the knowledge of Kim’s unusual pregnancy might be too much for her to absorb in addition to everything else. He resolved to try to persuade Kim to talk to Judy herself.

* * * *

Kim hung up the phone and leaned against the brick wall next to her. A part of her was thrilled that she would be able to see Jackie again, but it also meant she would have to be extremely careful. Jackie knew her so well that the slightest slip would give her away. She’d found a temporary home with Ted’s group, and the sense of belonging she felt there sustained her. She couldn’t give that up yet, not even for Jackie. 

Judy had mentioned an extended family. Were they humans or Visitors? Hopefully, Philip was among their number. If she brought other humans besides Jackie back to the sound stage with her, would Ted’s group be willing to accept them? So far, she could only count on Ted and Damian for support. Darlene would be against humans staying with them. Blaine and Alan were ambivalent, but likely to go along with Ted’s decision. Of course, preparing human food would be a problem, since all they had was a fridge. Then there was the potential for mingling during meal times, which could also be a source of tension. The Visitors didn’t have live animals yet, but Kim intended to find a way to get them.

Where would the humans sleep? She and Damian had already liberated two beds from the props building and set up crude privacy screens around them. Maybe Damian would help her find additional furniture to add to their eclectic collection. This was getting complicated. In a way, the complexity of the issues at hand only reaffirmed the value of her masquerade. Her own life seemed difficult, but it was actually relatively simple in view of the alternatives.

Kim checked her watch and pushed away from the wall. Ted had known Kim’s contact was running a temporary safe house for Visitors, and would certainly not try to stop her from going tonight. More likely, he’d want someone to go with her, for her own safety. She’d have to check to see how many passengers the larger of their cars held....

Thus occupied, she headed back to the sound stage.

* * * *

Philip roused when he heard a knock at the door. 

The small dog began to yap and Judy quickly wakened. She was disoriented at first, then remembered feeling drowsy while sitting with the Visitor on the sofa. Apparently, he had let her sleep while he waited for Karen to come. He'd even used an afghan from a nearby chair to cover her up.

“Muff, quiet!” Judy hissed, scooping the small dog up. Philip went with her to the back door, and she didn’t question him when he drew his gun.

She instructed him to look through the peephole, and he recognized Karen immediately. “It’s her,” he said, stepping aside so she could open the door.

Karen saw him waiting for her and fell into his offered embrace. She held back tears of relief as his arms closed tightly around her. “I got your note,” he whispered into her ear, using Sirian so Judy wouldn’t understand. “I’m sorry.”

Her own arms tightened about him before releasing him. He looked into her eyes and was surprised by the calm that he saw there, until he saw the storms lurking at the periphery.

“Pre-ta-nam-a,” she said, smiling and offered her hand for the traditional clasp of greeting.

He took it, and introduced her to Judy, then explained that the word of greeting literally translated to peace. He was amused to watch Kim fake difficulty remembering the custom before she extend her right hand for the traditional human handshake.

“Where are the others?” Kim asked when the introductions were over. Her uniform did nothing to hide her expanding abdomen, and she sensed Philip’s scrutiny. They had so much to talk about, she could barely contain herself.

“Sleeping. Come in and sit down while we wake them,” Judy said, stifling a yawn. 

“We should go as soon as possible. I have a stolen car out front that could attract unwanted attention if left there for too long.”

“Agreed,” Philip said, then turned to Judy. “You wake Jackie. I’ll get Megan and Drew, if you show me what rooms they are in.” 

“This way,” Judy said, and headed for the stairs, still trying to quiet the growling dog she held in her arms.

* * * *

Their departure was uneventful and, thankfully, swift. Kim had wanted so badly to collapse into Judy’s arms and confess everything that it made the brief encounter an excruciating eternity. Philip seemed to have a good rapport with Jackie, though, and she was pleased her almost-sister had learned to lean on him. He sat in the back seat, with Jackie sandwiched between him and Megan. Drew had said nothing after their introduction and Philip had met her eyes in a silent communication that told her the sulking Visitor was not happy with his current situation. Well, who was? At least he made an effort to get along with the rest of them, which was more than could be said about Darlene. Megan seemed friendly enough, and showed signs of a strong friendship with Jackie. How had they met, she mused? 

She felt Megan’s piercing gaze and wondered why she was the object of such scrutiny. She glanced in the rear-view mirror and met Philip’s eyes. He was watching her, too, but not nearly as intensely as Megan. 

“Where’s Kim?” Jackie asked, breaking the silence.

“Someplace safe. She’s okay, so you don’t need to worry about her. Right now, I think she is more concerned about you,” Kim answered. Megan’s gaze intensified until Kim could imagine it pressing against her skin. What had her so intrigued?

“Then why is she avoiding me?”

“She isn’t. Her situation is just more complicated than you realize.” Kim’s mind raced, desperate for a topic to switch the conversation to. She slowed the car to make a right-hand turn, then turned her attention back to her companions. At least Jackie was the only human in the group, which would make it much easier for the Visitors to be accommodating. “I need to warn you about Darlene. Her view of humans is rather poor, and she has made sure everyone knows it. Frankly, she’s miserable for any of us to be around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she refuses to speak to you or acknowledge you in any way. The rest of us sort of wish she’d include everyone in that favor.”

“She’s that bad?” Philip asked. It did help explain why Kim was still posing as Karen.

“Worse than you can imagine,” Kim said, meeting his gaze briefly through the mirror. “Diana would have helped all of us if she had put Darlene in charge of public relations. The humans would have organized a rebellion within a week.” 

Kim turned her attention to her friend of more than a decade. “Jackie, we have money, but you’ll probably need to go to the store yourself and pick out food. I suspect you’ll find the current selection rather unappetizing. We have a small refrigerator, but no way of cooking anything,”

“That won’t be a problem. I’m a pro at campfire cooking,” Jackie said before leaning her head on Philip’s shoulder. This was not what she had imagined her return to L.A. to be. Kim was avoiding her, and now Jackie had the dubious honor of being the sole human to live with a group of fifth columnists, one of whom was so antagonistic her own people despised her. God, she hated war.

* * * *

Kim showed the newcomers around briefly before retiring for some much-needed rest. Jackie had claimed one of the beds with the blessing of the Visitors, who wanted her to have as much privacy as she desired. Kim tried to hide her jealousy when Philip laid down with Jackie, apparently intending to spend the night there. Shame and guilt quickly followed. Jackie was obviously suffering after-effects from her ordeal on the mothership, and Kim had no right to begrudge her Philip’s support. She fought the urge to break down in tears and finally dozed. She wakened when the mattress shifted beneath her. 

“Shh. It’s just me,” Philip whispered as he laid down beside her. He took Kim in his arms and brushed the hair back from her eyes. “Jackie’s finally asleep.”

Wordlessly, she looked at him. His reddish-gold eyes were barely visible in the dim light, but she heard the sympathy in his voice, felt it in his touch. It reached through all of the barriers she had carefully erected around herself since going to Paul, and left behind it a path for her emotions to flow through. As he held her in the darkness, the tears came.

Philip held her, as he always did, with great tenderness. He spoke words of comfort softly into her hair and asked no questions. From past experience with her, he knew that conversation would only be possible once she had released her feelings. “I’m here, Kim, you’re not alone,” he repeated again and again, until it became a whispered mantra that lulled her to sleep.

* * * *

When Kim woke the next morning, she was again alone in the bed. She looked at her watch and moaned at the early hour, sensing further sleep was not on her body’s agenda for the morning. Sluggishly, she pulled her clothes on and headed for the refrigerator. 

Jackie was up too, looking disdainfully at the food on the table. Kim smiled at her and said, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Decently. Interesting selection you have here. Can’t say I’ve ever sat down and eaten a container of shortening before.” Jackie was eyeing the table with a raised eyebrow. 

“I warned you.” Kim smiled and retrieved a package of hamburger from the fridge. She removed the wrapper, then hesitated. Her own tightrope act between two cultures had just become more difficult, and she had a new empathy for how the Visitors felt around humans they didn’t know. What a burden, to always be on guard for fear of offending someone.

“You won’t bother me, don’t worry,” Jackie said absently, waving a dismissing hand in Karen’s direction. “I don’t suppose you have a can opener?” Jackie picked up a can of soup and turned to her.

“What does it look like?”

“I guess that’s answer enough. Hurry up and eat your breakfast, girlfriend; we’re going shopping.”

Kim tensed involuntarily at the word “girlfriend.” Did Jackie suspect? Or was she just being friendly? She watched Jackie carefully while eating the hamburger and decided it was the latter. Great. Now she had to feign ignorance in a grocery store, rather than stock up on the few human foods that still appealed to her. “Ted has the money.” 

“Do you mind going with me?” Jackie watched the Visitor and wondered why she was so tense. Megan didn’t act like this around her. 

Kim shook her head. “I could use the exercise.”

Jackie nodded, then glanced at Karen’s abdomen. “When are you due?”

Kim blanched beneath the mask and felt her lip quiver and quickly turned away. “I’m... I’m not sure.”

“Sorry... I didn’t realize it was a sensitive subject,” Jackie said hastily. Damn! She’d certainly not helped her case with the Visitor. She made a mental note to ask Megan if there were cultural taboos about discussing pregnancy. “Forget I mentioned it. I’ll go get the money. Come get me when you’re done?” Jackie waited until she saw the back of Karen’s head nod once, and then left the room.

“Are you Ted?” Jackie asked the friendly-looking Visitor who was listening to... the most diverse collection of electronic equipment she had seen in a long time. 

“No, Damian. You must be Jackie,” he said, smiling at her. “Ted’s sleeping. He pulled the night shift. What do you need?”

“Karen said he had the money.” Jackie smiled back at him and leaned against the door jamb. She hooked her thumb in the direction of the room next door. “That is the sorriest selection of breakfast possibilities I’ve seen in, what...twenty-four hours? I want to go shopping for some real food, preferably cooked, but I only have about ten bucks on me.”

“Here,” Damian said, pulling open the desk drawer. “Take whatever you need. Do you know where the nearest store is? Do you want someone to go with you?” He watched her kneel down and flip through the bills in the drawer.

“Thanks, no, and Karen is.” Jackie bowed her head. “I know I’ve been converted too much to dare going alone.” She pulled her left hand out of the drawer and deliberately began to use her right.

“Hey, take it easy,” Damian said. He hesitated, then put his hand on her shoulder. It was the first time he had ever touched a human and he was surprised at how much warmth radiated through her shirt. “It can be dangerous for any of us to go alone, not just you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jackie sighed, then raised her face so she could look at him. “It’s just...”

“No apology necessary.” He left his hand on her shoulder, but indicated the drawer of cash with his eyes. “Is there enough there for you?”

She nodded, grateful for the change in subject. “More than enough, for now. Don’t you worry about the supply running out?”

Damian reluctantly withdrew his hand and she stood. “No. Paul’s got a steady supply, and Karen has a contact who supplies her, too.”

“About Karen...” Jackie hesitated, then lowered her voice. “Is there some cultural taboo I should know about or something? I asked her when the baby was due to be born and she got a real strange look on her face.” 

“It’s an unusual case,” Damian answered softly and she leaned closer so she could hear him. “Diana apparently conducted some medical experiments with some of the crew as well as the prisoners. Karen’s child is a hybrid.”

“Oh,” Jackie breathed softly, “That explains a lot. Okay. Don’t mention the pregnancy. Got it,” she said to herself as she straightened. “That why she turned fifth column?”

“No. It was a case of cooperating with Diana to maintain her position on the ship. Diana is very good at detecting so-called traitors.”

“She’s good at torture, too. It seems she’s a woman of many talents!” Jackie resumed a conversational tone. 

Damian smiled. “I’d rather she worked on developing a talent for dying.”

“Maybe we, her loyal fans, will be able to help her develop the skill.” Jackie winked at him and went to see if Karen was almost ready to leave.

She checked, but Karen wasn’t in the dining room. Turning, she saw her standing near the shuttle, talking quietly with Jacob. It was obvious from the way they stood together that they were old friends and viewed each other affectionately. She saw Jacob watching her out of the corner of his eye before he turned his back to her and pressed his cheek to Karen’s forehead. The pregnant Visitor said something in return, but Jackie couldn’t quite make out the words. “I’m ready,” she said to Jackie as she released Jacob’s hand from her grasp and stepped away from him.

“Lead the way,” Jackie said, smiling as they headed towards the door at the far end of the building. She resolved to break through this particular Visitor’s reticence, no matter how long it took. No one could go through a pregnancy without some misgivings, and Darlene was an unlikely confidant for Karen to turn to.

Strange, how human she looked in her maternity clothes. And the sun was bright enough that even the sunglasses were not unusual. But a single syllable would betray her nature to anyone she encountered. Hell of a way to live, Jackie mused. And all of the Visitors she was with shared that fate. Megan handled it well, but Drew brooded behind a facade of indifference. How did Karen view the problem? After the faux pas with her earlier question, Jackie was hesitant to broach the subject. What were they supposed to talk about? The weather? “So, have you been on the surface long?”

“A few weeks,” Kim replied carefully. How had she gotten herself talked into this?

“How did you find this group? Does everyone on the ship know where to go?”

“Not everyone. It’s hard to share information, even within the column. But I knew where to find Paul, and he sent me here.”

“Who’s Paul?” Jackie asked. It was the second time Paul’s name had been mentioned this morning.

“A fifth columnist stationed in the red light district. Some of the prostitutes there help gather intelligence.”

“The hookers are helping the resistance?” Jackie didn’t even try to hide her surprise. 

“The fifth column,” Karen said.

“Same thing,” Jackie said, brushing off the correction.

“No, it’s not, though the two groups share some of the same goals.”

“Only some?”

“What do you care if the Leader is overthrown, as long as Earth is preserved?” Kim said quietly.

Jackie didn’t have an answer to that. Why wouldn’t the Visitor look her in the eye? She just stared straight ahead, giving minimal answers to Jackie’s questions. The Visitors were certainly capable of conversation; witness Megan’s willingness to talk. What was with this woman? Jackie started to reach a hand out to take Karen’s sleeve, then dropped it back to her side, not wanting to offend. Instead, she stopped in place. 

Karen went another step, then stopped and turned. Well, at least she was looking at her now, Jackie thought. “Have I done something to offend you?” she asked.

“No.”

“Then why have I had easier conversations with my gynecologist during my annual?” Jackie asked. She remained where she was and folded her arms across her chest. In response, all she got was a look of confusion.

“Annual?” Kim asked, trying desperately to look confused instead of amused. It was good to hear Jackie’s unique brand of humor again.

“Forget it.” Jackie looked skyward, then back at the Visitor. “You don’t like me.”

“Do I know you well enough to dislike you?” Kim asked in a very bland tone.

“Then you have a hang-up with humans in general.”

“Don’t confuse me with Darlene.” Kim’s voice had a hard edge to it.

Jackie almost said something else, but sensed Karen was searching for the right words, so she closed her mouth and waited.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” the Visitor finally asked.

“You’re saying we’ve met before?” Jackie studied the face carefully, but had no sense of recognition, even vaguely.

Kim nodded. “On the ship. I was there when you were revived from storage after your arrival. I helped escort you to the interrogation chamber.” Kim’s stomach was threatening violent retaliation for the emotional turmoil, but she swallowed and tried to fight the nausea. She had to get a sense of Jackie’s degree of bitterness. She and Philip still hadn’t talked about the