Recovery and Relapse

Part Three of V- The L.A. Chronicles. (Section 1 of 3)

by Jackie Newman

jacalynsue@zoominternet.net

The effects of the conversion became more apparent as Jackie regained her strength. It seemed to her that there was a direct correlation between her physical healing and the growing discord within her mind. Memories were mixed up with conversion-induced images and she was no longer certain which thoughts were her own. Ignoring Jacob’s advice to recall every moment in the chamber, she tried to ignore the past completely and sought refuge in the books that lined the shelves scattered throughout the house they now occupied.

She couldn’t even remember coming here. Jacob had been sitting with her when she woke up in a strange room, looking at beige walls and an equally bland ceiling. The Visitor had confirmed that the freezer held an adequate supply of meat, and said they assumed she would find enough food as well.

Dazed and disoriented, she had let Jacob guide her downstairs to the kitchen. The modest two‑story house was comfortable, though eclectically decorated. Throughout the home, randomly placed shelves displayed books and pictures from another time, before the war. Otherwise, the home was devoid of decorations, save for a few prints on the walls. There were no signs of children, although Jacob told her there were two bedrooms upstairs. In fact, the whole place had the atmosphere of a professor’s office. The reading selection was wonderfully diverse, and she escaped for hours at a time into an alternate reality where life was fair.

For a time, the books were enough. But as her health improved, so grew the urge to return to her music. The piano in the living room drew her with equal feelings of desire and dread. She was using her left hand almost constantly now, except for when she caught herself and actively concentrated on what she was doing. Worst of all were the nightmares. They came almost every night, and left behind a residue of terror she couldn’t put aside. The images that interrupted her sleep were fleeting and elusive, and the harder she tried to remember them, the worse the terror became.

The Visitors watched her carefully, but allowed her the solitude she craved. She was dimly aware that Jacob and Megan spent a lot of time together. So much, in fact, that if she had been less withdrawn, she would have been intrigued by Drew’s indifference to the affair. She knew Drew was still bitter about having to flee the ship and spent hours brooding. But those impressions were on the periphery of her conscious; her inward struggles drew most of her attention.

One afternoon, about two weeks after they had sought shelter in the abandoned house, the piano’s siren call was too strong to ignore. She set aside her book and vacated the wing-back chair she had claimed as her own. Feeling as if in a trance, she moved across the room and tensely sat down on the piano bench. She rested her hands on the cabinet for several minutes before she could bring herself to open and expose the keyboard.

Jackie started with simple scales, using first one hand, then the other. Success led her to attempt scales with both hands. “So far, so good,” she murmured to herself. 

Encouraged by the sounds resonating from the well-tuned instrument, she launched into a favorite Mozart sonata. Only a few measures into the piece, she stopped, waiting for the sounds of discord to fade. She took a calming breath and tried again. Maybe she was just out of practice, she thought, and tried again.

“Damn!” she swore aloud, and tears rushed to her eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her chest and her hands felt sweaty. “Okay. Mozart’s too much. Try something simple. Silent Night.” She had learned a very simple arrangement of that piece during her first year of piano lessons. Surely she would be able to play that.

Resolved, she played a few tentative notes, only to give up three measures into the piece. “Damn you, Diana.”

Alerted by the unfamiliar sounds, Drew had roused himself from his stupor in the adjoining room and moved to the doorway to watch. He had seen her staring at the large unit before, and had wondered what it was for. Given her reaction, it was obviously not intended to sound that awful. Although her back was to him, he could see that her hands were clenched into fists.

“More effects of the conversion?” he asked softly as he walked up behind her.

She didn’t sense his approach and jumped when he spoke. Her head whipped around and she looked at him with teary eyes. “You could say that.”

He waited, watching her with the unflappable, unblinking stare characteristic of his people.

“I can’t keep my hands straight. I can hear the music in my head and I know which keys to strike, but I keep crossing my hands over in my mind. I was good at playing the piano, millions of dollars good. Six albums good. Eight world tours good. And Diana has taken that from me. What’s next? My singing? I guess it’s a good thing I invested most of my profits; looks like that career is over.”

“Performing is your job?” Drew asked, trying to understand the menagerie of strange statements she had just made.

“Was. I don’t think I’ll be performing anymore. There isn’t a high demand for Chopsticks. ”

“Chopsticks?”

“Never mind.” Jackie closed the piano and rested her hands once more on the cabinet. “We should think about heading to L.A. soon, before I forget how to get there.”

* * * *

For days, Kim hid in her lab and wallowed in grief. Time lost all meaning to her as she vacillated between anguished tears and silent depression. She still wore the disguise, mostly because removing it would require more effort than she could put forth. She watched the video tape of Andrew’s birthday for hours, pausing only to rewind the tape and play it again. Andy’s T-shirt was her constant companion. She slept with it, rocked it, hugged it, and cried into it, trying to cope with the guilt and grief she felt. She had failed to protect him, failed to even respect his body after death. Though a part of her knew Andy would forgive her, Kim doubted she would ever forgive herself.

Until now, failure had been outside her vocabulary. Her intelligence, talent, and determination had allowed her to achieve all of the goals she ever set for herself. If the odds seemed to be against success, she found a way to alter them. Andrew’s death changed that. She had been too sure of his rescue, too certain the transfer to the other ship would go as planned; she had stopped worrying about him. If only she had asked Martin to move him sooner, if only....

The child within her stirred, drawing her attention back to the present. Her hand went to her abdomen, as it often had these past days. Damn Diana’s genetic experiments. The pregnancy had somehow prevented her from committing suicide. She had removed the capsule from her neck and held it in her hand. But she had been unable to put it in her mouth, much less swallow it. Eating wasn’t a problem, in fact her cravings for raw meat were becoming impossible to ignore. Only the deadly pill rendered her hand immobile, forcing her to accept yet another failure. For now, it seemed, she was going to be forced to keep living.

Slowly, she came to terms with her continued survival. If she was going to be forced to keep on breathing, she may as well make her sentence on Earth count for something. And hadn’t she promised Andrew she would make Diana pay? Hadn’t she vowed to help stop the people who murdered him? She couldn’t quit now; she had a promise to keep, didn’t she? It was time to set her selfishness and grief aside and get busy.

That decision led to the obvious question of how to proceed. What could she do that would most anger Diana, if Diana found out? Kim smiled to herself. Of course! Continuing her masquerade would be the ultimate insult. She could help other fifth columnists who had had to seek refuge in the city. Wouldn’t they be more comfortable receiving help from someone they thought of as one of their own, someone they could trust? She was still wearing her disguise, wasn’t she? It was the most reasonable thing to do, wasn’t it? She could go to Paul, who Martin said had set up operations in the red‑light district. Surely he could tell her what assistance was needed. All she had to do was pack some clothes that would fit around her expanding stomach and leave a note for Philip and Jackie. She hugged Andy’s shirt to her chest as she made her plans, then carefully set it aside. She had work to do.

* * * *

 “Got another one for you, Paul.”

Kim followed the woman into the dimly lit room. There was a small table in the corner that held several cages of rodents. A desk was pushed up against the wall, next to a straight-backed chair. The figure at the desk looked very human as he slid his chair back and turned to see his new guest. “Karen!” he exclaimed in surprise, recognizing Martin’s chosen consort. “Thank you, Candy.”

“Whatever,” Candy said, snapping her gum as she left and closed the door behind her.

“Sit down! Have you eaten?” He seemed happy to have a break from the papers he had been going through, and he gave her his full attention.

Kim eased herself down onto a chair that looked too rickety to hold her weight. She sat on the front edge, expecting it to give way. Nodding her head, she replied, “I’m fine.”

“Martin sent word I should watch for you, but after so long, I thought...” He shook his head.

“I had some other things to do before coming,” Kim hedged. She hadn’t known Martin had made plans for her arrival. How had he known she was going to come here, when she herself had made the decision only this morning? He must have told Paul as a precaution, just in case she took the unlikely option of continuing her masquerade, she decided.

“I’m glad. Only about two of every ten columnists make it off the ship alive, you know.” He paused, both of them thinking about lost comrades. “At least now they have a place to come to. I hear it was your idea to set up down here, true?”

“Only in part. How is it working out?”

“Could be better, could be worse,” he said and shrugged. “Some of them, like Candy, are glad to help any way they can. Most don’t want to get involved, and keep quiet only because they keep their money. And a few...” He let that sentence trail off unfinished. The realities of war didn’t need to be explained to Karen, he was sure. “But our network is spreading. We’ve been able to move several targeted human families into hiding, and if it weren’t for the work of those ladies, we would never have known about the plans. It sure is a strange system they have here, though.”

“I expect they would find many of our ways equally strange,” Kim replied. 

“I’m sure, and I didn’t mean to sound like I was criticizing them. I’d rather be here than looking over my shoulder on the ship, to speak the truth.” He leaned back in his chair and studied her. “I see you already have civilian clothes. What is it you need? I’ll help you any way I can.”

“Other than you, I’m completely cut off from the ship and the column. My only other contact is a human, but her resources are rather limited. I’m here to serve in whatever capacity you think would be most useful to the column. But you also need to know something about my condition.” Kim hesitated. “I managed to get myself caught up in some of Diana’s medical experiments.”

“We’ve all had to do some things we didn’t want to,” Paul said, encouraging her.

“I’m pregnant with a hybrid child.”

Paul’s eyes widened, but he said nothing, only nodded for her to continue.

“I have no way of knowing how much longer I’ll be useful on my feet, though I assume there are sedentary tasks I can do as time goes on.”

“And then? We have only the most rudimentary medical supplies, and so far, none of our physicians have made it to the surface.”

“The humans have an expression that seems appropriate: I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

Paul nodded in sympathetic agreement. “How about joining one of the groups that monitors ship communications? They’re located in a relatively quiet area of the city, so you probably won’t be the target of a raid. Some of the individuals in that group mingle on the streets, and others pose as officers in transit, to try to collect more information. But given the circumstances, I think it would be agreeable to them for you to monitor ship communications only. Is that acceptable? I realize it is perhaps not the best use of your training.”

“It sounds fine. I don’t know that any of us are going to use our training in the intended ways again. Look at you. What is your role called by the humans? A pimp?”

Paul laughed in a very human fashion. “Yes. ‘Slave owner’ seems to be more appropriate, from how I’ve seen them treat their women. The one I killed to replace was such an offender. I think he would have killed Candy if I hadn’t stopped him.”

“Which won you their gratitude.”

“And gave them a chance to regain the self-respect their former pimp took from them. One of the ladies will show you to a room where you can rest while we contact the group you’ll be joining,” Paul said, standing up. “Do you still have your firearm?”

“Yes, and my uniform, which will not fit me much longer, I’m afraid.”

“I’ll see if any other uniforms can be procured for you. It may be useful to have at some point.” Paul opened the door and went into the hallway. “Angel, could you show Karen to a room, please?”

“Sure, honey,” she said to Paul before turning her gaze to Karen. “Come on, honey. This your first time on the surface?” Angel asked. She didn’t even pause to hear the answer, but kept on talking. “We’ll take care of you, don’t you worry. I’d do anything for Paul, and that means I’ll do anything for you, you hear?”

Kim shook her head to herself as she followed the chattering woman to a small room furnished only with a narrow bed, a small table, and a chair. Was everyone ‘honey’ to her? Kim set her bag on the table and looked around the room, wondering how previous occupants had used it. Who would have thought that the rebel effort would rely so heavily on the shoulders of society’s forgotten daughters? Then again, was it really a surprise, given the fact that their very lives depended on practical survival skills? Helping the resistance was simply the best way for them to survive, as they were protected by the very fifth column they were aiding. The inside information they had access to helped them avoid the raids that removed the other prostitutes from the Visitor-sanitized streets. And the fifth columnists on the ships were careful to send advance warnings of all such raids, with the realization that one of them could be the next columnist to run from the ship in need of a safe place to hide.

“You just make yourself comfortable, honey, and let Angel know if you need anything. Bathroom’s just down the hall on the left. I’ve got some magazines in my room if you want something to read while you wait.”

Kim hesitated, wondering what sorts of reading material were being offered. “I would like that, thank you,” she lied, feeling it would be rude to refuse.

“Okay, honey, I’ll go get them.” Angel turned to go, then stopped and looked back at her. “You want a blanket or something?”

A blanket would do a Visitor little good, if he were already cold. “Does Paul use one?” Kim asked carefully, hoping the question would seem appropriate for an alien out of her element.

Angel shook her head and laughed. “One of the girls sleeps with him to keep him warm. We don’t mind.” Her face took on a serious expression as she continued, “He says what he means and he doesn’t try anything. Not that I’d mind if he did try something, if you catch my meaning.” She winked. “Tell ya what, I’ll bring you a blanket, and if you get cold, you come find me tonight, okay?”

Kim nodded, touched by the gesture of kindness. “Thank you.”

As soon as Angel was out of sight, she allowed herself to sigh in disgust as she looked about the room again. The thin mattress smelled moldy and was covered by a stained sheet. The pillow looked at least a hundred years old and was as soft as a concrete slab. Who knew what the blanket Angel was bringing would look like. Kim wrinkled her nose, wondering how people managed to live their whole lives in these conditions.

She sat down on the bed, staring at the floor. Was she doing the right thing? It occurred to her as she looked at her shoes that the floor beneath them was freshly mopped. A more careful examination of the room revealed it had been recently cleaned. No dust or cobwebs could be found lurking in the corners. In spite of the condition of the furniture, someone took pride in this sorry place. Kim realized with chagrin how snobbish her attitude had been and resolved to treat these women with the respect they deserved. After all the things she had done, it was hardly fair for her to judge them.

True to her word, Angel returned with a blanket and an armful of magazines. Kim was surprised by both. The blanket was soft and smelled freshly laundered. The magazines were a diverse selection, ranging from Reader’s Notes to the National Sleaze.

When she was alone again and the door was closed, Kim treated herself to a supper of peanut butter and crackers from the stash of food she had packed in her bag of clothes. It had been a tiring day, and she fell asleep almost immediately after lying down under the blanket. 

She woke early the next morning and had a breakfast from the same food stash her supper had come from. With a full stomach, she settled back on the bed and resumed her reading. A knock at the door made her jump, but she composed herself before answering. “Come in.”

An exotic-looking woman she had not met before opened the door and looked in. She was still dressed for working the streets and her dark brown eyes looked tired. “My name is Brandie. Paul wanted me to tell you the fellow you’re going with, Damian, is here. Do you need any help with your things?”

Her voice had a distinct Mexican accent, and Kim suspected one of her parents was of so-called “Hispanic” origin. Beneath the gaudy makeup and almost indecent clothing, Kim saw the potential for a beautiful woman, a diamond in the rough. It made her wonder what in their pasts had driven these women to their current profession. Shaking off her reverie, Kim swung her feet over the edge of the bed and set the magazine aside. “No, but thank you. I’ll be there shortly. Will you thank Angel again for me when you see her? The reading material has been very interesting.”

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, you hear?” she said before closing the door again.

Kim folded the blanket and stacked the magazines in a neat pile on the table before leaving the room. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake in continuing her pretense of being a Visitor, but anything seemed better than going back to the lab and being alone. 

* * * *

When she reached Paul’s office, she found the door open. He waved for her to come in and indicated the other Visitor. “This is Damian.”

Kim smiled shyly and clasped his upraised hand in greeting while she studied him. He was rather handsome, by human standards, and had a friendly manner about him. His eyes were dark brown, like his hair, and filled with warmth. Dressed in blue-jeans, a flannel shirt, and sneakers, he looked like any other human. Only his voice betrayed his origin, reverberating like Paul’s and her own. “Are you ready?”

Kim nodded, then turned to Paul and held up her hand. “Thank you, Paul.”

He clasped it and smiled back at her. “Thank you, for suggesting we set up here.”

* * * *

Damian led her to an unmarked blue car that was parked outside along the curb.

“Where did you get the car?” she asked, surprised. The Visitor cars were all white and marked with the Leader’s symbol on the doors. 

“It’s stolen,” he said, smiling at her. “Got it in a section of town that’s already in custody, which is good, since without the keys I wouldn’t know how to start it.” He unlocked her door for her and went around to the driver’s side to get in. Once they were under way, he tried to draw her out. “How long have you been on the surface?”

“A couple of weeks,” Kim answered. “I had something I had to do before going to Paul.”

“What was your position on the ship?”

“First lieutenant in security. But I’ve been working mostly in the processing area, putting the humans into storage. What about you?”

“Computer technician. I guess you got to interact with some of them, then?”

Kim nodded. “Some, but mostly after they were in custody and too terrified to talk.”

“Still, I envy you. I hadn’t even been to the surface before I had to leave the ship. The only humans I had talked with were some of the press during the initial tours of the mothership. Now that I’ve been on the surface for a while, I’m even more convinced the fifth column is doing the right thing.”

“Actually, I’m glad to be off the ship. I know we’re still in danger, but it feels safer,” Kim said carefully. She hoped she could avoid outright lies and simply allow the others to assume she was Sirian and not human. She still hadn’t decided what she would do, though if someone asked questions that would give her away.

“I understand, believe me. And you’ll find it is nice to sleep knowing that someone else is standing guard for you. In fact, it makes up for the food selection we have.” He laughed. “I hope you like hamburger and chicken, because it is pretty much all the meat we can get. Paul keeps the money coming somehow, and we buy it at a store not far from us.”

“No one gets suspicious?”

Damian smiled and glanced at her, meeting her eyes through the sunglasses they both wore. “Well, we make a point of buying other things, too. I have no idea what most of it is, and I can’t say I’m curious enough to try it. But we still have it all stacked in the office if you feel adventurous.”

“Where are you staying?” Kim asked, beginning to relax. She liked Damian. He was friendly and honest, and seemed to want to make her comfortable after what he assumed to be a frantic escape from the mothership.

“Are you familiar with the movie business? The humans filmed them in these large buildings. They’ve been abandoned for months now, which works for us, since we have a tanker that needs repairs and we can keep it inside while we work on it. Actually, these buildings are each large enough for several shuttles. The one we’re in has a couple of small offices in it, and a refrigerator where we can keep food. All we really need is cages for animals, and we’d be living in relative luxury.”

* * * *

Damian kept up his friendly chatter for the rest of the drive and explained that Paul had already told him about her medical condition. Before she could even think of a way to respond, he had changed the subject, telling her about the other fifth columnists she would be living with. Blaine and Alan were both low-level security guards and had been on the surface for a couple of months. They had both been active in the fifth column, although Alan had some doubts about the intelligence of humans. In his defense, he had never interacted with any of them. Ted was from the cryogenics unit and had worked extensively with humans on the surface, assisting in the manufacture of the chemical the Visitors claimed to need to save their world. Like the others, he strongly believed in the fifth column’s cause, and was endlessly curious about human culture. He also held the highest rank and was the leader of their small group, by unspoken agreement. Darlene was the only female in their unit, and Kim’s stomach knotted when Damian confided Darlene’s opinion that the humans were as dumb as rats. 

“Then why is she involved in the fifth column?” Kim couldn’t help but ask in a subdued voice.

“Because she wants the Leader to be overthrown, and the fifth column is the only organized force that opposes him,” he answered in a tone that matched hers. He went on to confide that none of them really liked Darlene so much as they tolerated her. After all, where else could she go?

* * * *

Kim couldn’t help but gawk at the numerous buildings that covered the studio lot and hoped her curiosity didn’t seem too out of place.

Damian watched her and smiled. “Amazing, isn’t it, the amount of space they have to build in?”

Kim knew that on the Sirian home world, cities started at the surface and tunneled underground. The surface was mostly barren and uninhabitable, with wildly fluctuating temperatures. Being underground assisted greatly in climate control, a vital necessity for ectothermic beings such as the Visitors. Heat from the surface was simply redistributed to the lower levels as needed. She nodded absently at Damian’s comment and continued to watch the scenery.

He pulled the car right up to a door on the end of one of the buildings, and it opened obligingly. As he pulled the vehicle inside, Kim caught a glimpse of the Visitor who was standing guard and had opened the door for him. 

That’s Darlene,” Damian said quietly, confirming her suspicion as he drove towards the center of the building. “Don’t be surprised if she starts in with the anti-human comments immediately. It’s just the way she is,” he warned before turning off the engine. 

Kim got out carefully, removing her sunglasses so she could better look around. The vast space dwarfed the tanker shuttle that had been parked at the end furthest from the door they had come through. Nearby, light spilled from an open door, and the table of food partly visible inside the room indicated to Kim this was one of the offices Damian had talked about. He led her instead to the other office, where a Visitor in human clothing was listening to messages being sent between shuttles and the mothership. Salvaged equipment from shuttles and cars had been assembled on the desk. The cramped space also housed a filing cabinet and four straight-backed chairs. The menagerie of wires and other devices on the desk evoked images of an electrician practicing knot-tying with the tools of his craft. Still, the sound was clear as different Visitors communicated from their vehicles. 

“Karen, this is Ted.”

Kim took another step forward and prepared to grasp his hand when another voice interrupted. “So, are you infatuated with the humans, too?”

Kim turned and made an effort to keep her expression pleasant. “I admit I’m somewhat partial to the species, yes. You must be Darlene.” Kim held up her hand, which Darlene ignored, so she dropped it back to her side. She glanced at Damian, who quirked a corner of his mouth at her and rolled his eyes. 

“Darlene, have you been relieved?”

She sighed belligerently. “No, Ted. I just came to say hello,” she snapped at him before heading back to her post.

Kim turned back to Ted and grasped the offered hand. “Is she always so....” Kim broke off, searching for the right word.

“Obnoxious? I fear so,” Ted said as he rose to his feet. “She blames the humans for every discomfort that befalls her. Welcome.” His mask was patterned after the people native to East Asia, although she was uncertain which country he would be native to if he were from Earth. Kim estimated she was an inch or so taller than the Visitor.

He turned his attention next to Damian, who stood protectively at her elbow. “Any problems?”

Damian shook his head. “Paul sent more money,” he answered, handing Ted a wad of cash that Kim estimated to be about a hundred dollars. Ted took it and placed it in a drawer of the desk at which he had been sitting.

Kim knelt and opened her duffel bag. Pushing aside her uniform, she fished out the cash she had obtained. “I have a human contact, also, who gave me some currency,” Kim said and handed two hundred dollars over to him. It was all she had stored in her house, although she knew she could get more from an automatic teller using the bank card still hidden in the bag.

“Your contact, is he or she a member of the resistance?” Ted asked.

“No. She’s been working independently of the other humans. I’m supposed to call her every few days to check for new messages from some fifth columnists who may not know how to contact Paul. She can be trusted.”

Ted nodded. “Why don’t you put your things in the shuttle and get familiar with your new surroundings. We can show you how to work this unique collection of equipment later. I know it can seem disorienting to be off the ship, but you’re fortunate to be here at all. And don’t let Darlene taint your view of the humans.”

“I don’t think anything Darlene says could change my view of them, but I may try to change her views.”

“If you succeed, we’ll send Diana to you for treatment next,” Damian muttered, loudly enough for both of them to hear, then nodded his head towards the tanker. “I’ll show you which bunk you can claim in the shuttle.”

Kim picked up her bag and followed him across the concrete floor and up the ramp. The back section of the tanker had three tiers of bunks that folded up into the walls when not in use. Since the tanker was not in active service, the bunks had been left down and several had uniforms and civilian clothes lying on them. 

Damian removed the clothing from the lowest bunk on the back wall and moved it to the bunk above it. “Take the bottom one, it will be easier to get in and out of as time goes on,” he said kindly.

Kim set her bag on it and nodded in agreement. She hoped none of her roommates snored, then belatedly wondered if any Visitors did. 

“You hungry?”

“A little.”

“Then I’ll show you where the food is kept.”

The glimpse of the table she’d had when she had first arrived had been too brief to allow for identification of the contents. Now, on closer inspection, she had to fight not to laugh. To try to cover her amusement, she handled some of the items and feigned amazement. “What is all of this?”

“I have no idea. Most of it is cheap, so it doesn’t matter. There were a few things that started to smell bad and turn strange colors, so we got rid of them. If you want to try them, I see little risk for you.”

Kim looked over the array. Two five-pound bags of flour, a jar of mayonnaise, and a box of cereal were piled next to cans of green beans and soup. There were bags of uncooked noodles and rice, boxes of instant pudding and gelatin, and a bottle of... was that syrup? Kim moved the rice that was hiding it and picked up the bottle: maple syrup. She also spotted a container of vegetable shortening, packages of cookies, and a jar of spiced salt. It was painfully obvious that the individual who had selected these items for purchase had no concept of how they were to be prepared or used. And without so much as a manual can-opener, even the soup was inaccessible to her. 

She picked up one of the cans. “How are these supposed to be opened?”

“Now that you mention it...” Damian took it from her and turned it over in his hands. “I don’t know. I’m sure they have some tool to use.”

“I think I would like to visit a store where these things were purchased.”

“Sure. One of us will probably go within the next couple of days,” Damian agreed, then retrieved packages of meat from the refrigerator. Kim took a large handful of hamburger and ingested it slowly while Damian devoured several pieces of chicken. The raw meat, which once made her ill on sight, now tasted delicious. Would it have the same appeal to her once the time of her pregnancy had passed?

“Where is everyone else?” she asked between mouthfuls.

“Alan’s warning another group of a raid. Blaine is probably mingling with troops on the street. We all take shifts, and only have one person stand guard during the day, simply because there are so few of us. At night, two keep watch.”

“How much useful information comes from monitoring? I can’t imagine it’s very interesting.”

“Actually, quite a bit. The fifth column on the ship hides messages on another frequency and gives us a lot of news that way. I’ve rigged a decoder that separates that signal from the main one. We’ve set up a recording system for those hidden messages, so you don’t have to scramble to memorize every word. They’ve also been broadcasting warnings to the humans from the beginning, but so far it doesn’t look like anyone has found them.” Damian couldn’t hide his pride at his own involvement in the operation. Though the lack of human response had been disappointing, it was always possible they had found the messages and simply neglected to reply.

“What’s Martin like?” he asked, changing the subject.

“What do you mean?”

“You know his reputation! Everyone says he’s aloof, stuck on following procedure, keeps to himself. But then he surprised all of us by claiming a consort, one that wasn’t known to be fifth column.”

“News travels,” Kim said wryly.

“Fifth column gossip is the best kind. Why’d he pick you?” he persisted.

“I’m hardly the only one to use that guise to convey information to him.”

“No, but you’re the most recent, most visible, and I dare say, longest lasting,” Damian said.

Damn his charm! Even by Visitor standards, his questions were rather direct and unexpected. Yet his charisma disarmed her before she could even think of being annoyed. “Let’s just say I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“You threatened him?” Damian was incredulous.

“Of course not! I simply had access to information he could obtain nowhere else.” Kim hoped that was enough of an answer and changed the subject. “Tell me about Darlene.”

“Not much to tell. She won’t talk about her past. Won’t even say why she had to leave the ship. But the column has confirmed her loyalty in spite of her attitude, so we tolerate her.”

“So, it’s possible she has never met a human, even though she claims to hate them.”

“It’s not like the humans come up to the ship looking for conversation.”

Kim smiled back at him, feeling more secure in her role now that the topic was moving further away from herself. “Are all the other buildings like this one, or do they have things in them?”

“I don’t know. Ted found this place; you could ask him.”

“I will. I was thinking it might be worth looking to see what might be in them. If they made movies here, they must have had furniture and other items. Maybe there is something we could use to cage animals. We could move them here after it gets dark. If you have time now, I’m willing to go look. With two of us, I would think it is safe enough.”

“Good idea. Do you have a firearm?”

“In the shuttle.”

“Go get it while I ask him.”

Kim nodded and went to do as he requested. If they could find the props building, surely they could find some decent chairs and other items to make this place more comfortable. And there had to be something that could be used for cages. And then she could get animals and supplies at some pet stores. Andy always favored the store... Kim’s thoughts broke off abruptly as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. It was best not to dwell on such things. Today was what she had to think about, today and the living. If she could make life easier for the fifth columnists, maybe she could forget her own misery.

* * * *

 “Hello?” Judy’s voice came through the receiver.

“It’s me. Don’t say my name,” Kim said quickly. The sound of Judy’s voice made her long for home. She paused, waiting for a person to pass her before she continued.

“Are you all right?” Judy asked.

“Yes. I’m at a pay phone, so it can’t be traced to where I’m staying. I’m doing okay. Are there any messages?”

“No. But you did have a couple of friends come through here awhile ago. Your... sister and her gentleman friend.”

Kim realized Judy was referring to Jackie and Philip. “How were they?”

“Your sister has seen better times, but the other one was taking good care of her. Said he knew you.”

Kim smiled at the knowledge that Philip had been thinking of her. “Did they set out for the rising sun?”

There was silence while Judy deciphered her meaning. Rising sun? Kim must mean east, to Phoenix. “Yes,” she answered.

“Okay. I’ll call in about a week. Try not to worry. I’m in less danger now than I was before. Believe that. ’Bye.” Kim hung up before Judy had a chance to reply. 

Unbidden tears came to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, willing herself to bury the emotion and return to the sound stage. She had volunteered to go to the store this time, so that she could call Judy from the pay phone located outside the store. It had also provided her with an opportunity to add her own choices to the assortment of provisions at the sound stage.

She braced her hand against the building and bent her knees, reaching for the handles of the plastic bags sitting at her feet. Being pregnant was not much fun; it was changing her body in too many ways. Next time, she would remember to call before doing the shopping.

* * * *

 “I don’t think we can wait any longer,” Megan said, rolling onto her back. She and Philip had retreated to one of the bedrooms upstairs, knowing Drew was monitoring Jackie’s activities. Her hand toyed with the hem of the sheet that Philip had drawn across them. “She isn’t getting better. If anything, she’s getting worse.”

Philip sighed. The Visitors had decided amongst themselves to wait another week after the incident with the piano to see if her mental condition would stabilize. They had believed it had, until Jackie confided this morning that she was beginning to experience a strong compulsion to return to the mothership. “We need to think of a way to get her to Los Angeles without encountering any troops, and I don’t think it’s possible.”

“We can’t stay here forever. If we do, I think Drew will head for the ship himself,” Megan replied.

“I don’t understand his attitude,” Philip said.

Megan turned her head to look at him. “He didn’t join the fifth column by choice. He never wanted to get involved.”

“Neither did I. That’s no excuse.”

“What do you mean? You broke Jackie out of custody and left the ship with her.”

“That was the second time I left the ship. The first time was not by choice,” he said softly, watching her reactions carefully. 

“Go on,” Megan prodded.

Philip hesitated. Should he tell her the truth? The sense of isolation he felt was becoming unbearable. Megan had proven herself in many ways to him with her loyalty to Jackie and her fierce determination to aid the fifth column. And in the short time he had known her, she had become a close friend, someone he could depend on to watch his back. He’d already taken a greater risk when he had decided to trust Kim. 

Remembering that decided him. “I was assigned to take a human scientist into custody. We went to her house looking for her. I went to the basement, where she took me prisoner. She had hidden rooms down there, and when the others came looking for me, it appeared that I had vanished.” 

Megan’s look was one of astonishment. “How did you escape?”

“I didn’t. The door had a special lock on it, and I didn’t get time to myself to try to figure it out. At first I assumed she’d try to torture me, or use me for some of her experiments. But all she wanted from me was information. She never threatened me or harmed me in any way. On the contrary, I ended up helping her figure out how to infiltrate the ship to find her brother. When she was ready, I decided to go back to the ship myself.”

“Weren’t you questioned about your absence?”

“They never knew I was missing. The real Jacob is dead. I took his mask and assumed his role, just as Kim did for another Visitor.”

“This woman, Kim, where is she now?”

“On the ship, active within the fifth column. It was through her I was asked to get Jackie out. Kim knows her, and got permission from the column for her to be released. Jackie and I actually met once, at Kim’s house, but she doesn’t realize I’m the same person. Nor does she know where Kim is. When I first got her off the ship, I didn’t know how much damage had been done, so told her nothing. And the way she is now, I still don’t think she should be told.”

“I agree,” Megan said, then sat up, trying to absorb this new information. “Kim is on the ship, as one of us, and no one knows?” The disbelief she felt was evident in her voice.

“One other fifth columnist on the ship knows, and is helping her. But she is living life as we would, including eating our food.”

“The human culture views sexual relations very differently,” she said, looking sideways at him.

“Yes, but she quickly moved past that. Believe me, she can play her part very convincingly,” he said, amused at her surprise.

Megan just stared at him.

“Someone had to show her,” Philip added in a matter-of-fact tone before smiling at her.

“Show me,” Megan asked.

“What?” His brow furrowed. What did Megan need to know about lovemaking? She had already proven herself to be quite knowledgeable on the subject.

“The human way. Show me,” she said and lay down next to him again. He seemed hesitant, so she encouraged him. “I admit to curiosity, and have no desire to learn from a human,” she whispered seductively before she intertwined her tongue with his. This was going to be very interesting. His touch had been maddeningly exotic from the beginning, and now she believed she knew why. Without realizing it, he had adopted some of the ways of the human woman he had aided. There was no telling what other delights awaited her. They could decide how to deal with Jackie later. 

* * * *

Much later in the afternoon, Philip and Megan went downstairs to relieve Drew of his shift. They found Jackie in the kitchen, staring at a round gray object that sat on the table before her.

“What is that?” Megan asked in passing, preoccupied with finding something to eat. She opened the freezer and began to sort through the pitiful selection yet again, hoping that this time a new option awaited her.

“It’s how we’re going to get to L.A. without me getting us all killed,” Jackie said in a disaffected tone.

Megan shut the freezer door and turned to Jackie, who now had her full attention. “What is it?”

“Duct tape.” Jackie tossed it into the air and caught it easily in her left hand. “Catch,” she said and tossed it to Philip.

He turned it over in his hands, then looked back at Jackie. “What is your idea?”

“You all have uniforms. The fastest way to get back to Los Angeles is on a shuttle. Capturing a human resistance member who escaped from custody once before should be reason enough to be given a shuttle.” Jackie stared hard at the roll of tape. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be in control of my actions. But if you bind my hands with that, and tape my mouth shut, it won’t matter. I won’t be able to say anything to give us away, and no amount of struggling will free my hands from that tape, believe me. So it won’t matter if I give in to the compulsions Diana programmed me with. What chance does one brain-damaged trussed-up human stand against the three of you?”

“Jackie, even being on a shuttle could enhance the effects of the conversion. Are you sure you want to take that risk?” Philip asked, concerned. Another part of him had already decided it was the only chance they had of getting to the L.A. fifth column.

“Anything is better than sitting here. Physically, I’m fine. So let’s go somewhere where I can be locked up safely while you help the resistance. We can go to my friend Kim’s house while you try to contact the column. There is a hidden room in the basement, with only one exit to guard. Kim may have found the resistance by now, and left me a message on how to contact her. If not, you’ll have to contact the column on your own. You can decide what we are to do after that, and what to do with me.” 

Jackie’s voice grew increasingly soft and Megan and Philip had to step closer to her so they could hear her next words. “We can’t stay here much longer anyway. It is too easy for me to escape and you cannot imagine how strong these compulsions are becoming.” Jackie bowed her head, not wanting them to see the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks.

Philip lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I promise you, I will not let you go back to the ship. Diana is not going to practice her arts on you again.”

Jackie looked back at him with anguished eyes. “She doesn’t need to. The damage has already been done.”

* * * *

Life at the sound stage had settled into a comfortable routine for Kim. She felt at ease with the Visitors in a way she never had while on the ship, mainly because she knew her current companions could be trusted. Although she still continued her masquerade, she knew that a slip would only invoke Darlene’s wrath, rather than the fatal consequences she had faced on the ship. The pseudoskin covering her abdomen was stretched taught, but it appeared to Kim that it still had enough give to it to last through her entire pregnancy, if need be.

In sharp contrast to the other Visitors, Darlene was a source of constant irritation. Kim had tried to be patient, tried to initiate conversations with the abrasive woman, but Darlene made it clear her advances were unwelcome. The Visitor was both alone and miserable, and seemed intent on remaining that way. After several attempts, Kim resigned herself to the situation and left her alone.

* * * *

 “I can’t believe we’re risking our lives to save these idiots,” Darlene snapped.

She was taking her turn monitoring the radio. Although Kim and Damian were in the next room eating, they could hear her easily. Damian leaned closer to Kim and said softly. “Here comes the announcement of the latest troop success.”

“The entire town of Huntington Beach has been taken up to the ship. And there is not a single reported incidence of resistance. Not one!” They heard Darlene say.

Kim fought back a giggle. The Visitors didn’t laugh on their own in response to humor, but a few had adopted the mannerism to better emulate humans. She knew if she dissolved into uncontrollable fits of laughter, the noise, combined with the tears running down her cheeks, would expose her identity. 

“Now comes the commentary on their lack of intelligence,” Damian whispered conspiratorially. 

Darlene continued on cue. “How can they be so stupid? Tens of thousands of them are missing, and the ones left behind don’t even notice.”

“Next she’ll mock the Leader,” Damian said. His eyes twinkled at Kim as they waited for Darlene to make her next comment.

“We’re supposed to be overthrowing the Leader, not forwarding his causes,” Darlene declared loudly.

Kim looked at Damian and raised an eyebrow. That wasn’t what he had predicted.

Damian winked at her, then raised his voice. “Darlene, you forgot to mock the Leader. You’re supposed to do that BEFORE you restate the fifth column goals, not after.”

Kim’s jaw dropped at the audacity of his comment and he simply shrugged his shoulders at her. 

“Mock me all you want, Damian,” Darlene fired back. “You know I’m right, even if you won’t admit it. We’re risking our lives to save six billion hairy idiots.”

Kim’s own temper flared and she jumped into the exchange. “And they never asked a bunch of scaly, arrogant tyrants to harvest them as dinner!” She marched to the next room, Damian following behind her. “You judge them so harshly for how they view us, for the necessity of the masks... you mock their ignorance, insult their intelligence, and refuse to try to understand them. Tell me this, Darlene, since you’re so much better than they are. How did you react when you first saw a human? Were you taken with their beauty? Or repulsed? Did you look forward to putting on the pseudoskin, or dread it? You judge them harshly for their reactions to us... did you ever stop to consider you’re just as xenophobic as they are? And worst of all, you have the gall to proclaim your superiority over people you don’t even know.”

“And how many humans do you know?” Darlene retorted.

“More than you do, I guarantee it,” Kim said through clenched teeth. She could feel her face growing hot under the pseudoskin and she knew her eyes were smoldering. 

“Name them,” Darlene challenged.

“After you,” Kim countered. Darlene hesitated, groping for any name she could think of. Kim watched her jaw work, and she advanced to where the hostile Visitor was sitting. “I thought not. You can’t even name one. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up,” Kim said, then turned and strode out of the office. She had lost her appetite, and instead of returning to the food room, she retreated into the shuttle. As angry as she was at Darlene, she was frustrated with herself for allowing Darlene to provoke her. She flung herself into one of the seats in the cockpit and stared at the darkened windows, waiting for the fit of anger to pass.

Damian had followed her, and he sat down in the other seat in the cockpit. “Feel better?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Actually...” Kim turned towards him and saw his grin. Her own anger dissipated and she broke into a smile. “That felt wonderful! I’m ashamed to say it, but I’ve wanted to do that for days!”

“We all have, and I admit I enjoyed watching you give it to her.” He got up and moved over to the exposed panel behind his seat. “So, how did you first react?”

“To what?”

“The thought of pretending to be human, knowing you’d have to wear the pseudoskin,” he clarified as he began to work. His self-assigned task was to rewire the shuttle circuitry so the ship would function without the homing device he had removed. 

Kim often kept him company while he labored, and he seemed to enjoy their conversations as much as she did. Many conversations were about Earth and its inhabitants, a topic she was quite comfortable with. When the conversation moved in the direction of their own pasts, she was usually able to steer it away from herself by getting him to do most of the talking. She would offer up an observation, and he would expand upon it, leaving her to sit back and absorb whatever he chose to divulge. On occasion, though, he asked his disconcertingly direct questions and she groped for answers that were at least partially truthful. This was such a time.

She swung her seat around so it faced him and propped her feet up on the other seat. “Well, more than anything else, I saw posing as a different species to be a challenge. There are so many things to remember, from body language to cultural taboos. I guess I mainly felt overwhelmed. What about you?”

“Not so fast.” He paused from his task and looked intently at her. “Not even a twinge of revulsion?”

Kim thought back to her first conversations with Philip, then shook her head. Surprise, interest, fascination... she had felt all of those. But revulsion? She could honestly say she didn’t remember having that feeling, so she shook her head.

“How did you manage to avoid that?” he asked before turning back to the task before him.

“I really don’t know,” Kim said, then turned his inquiry back on him. “What about you? How did you react?”

“I was repulsed, at first. But the more I learned about them, the more I realized how similar we are, in spite of our differences,” he admitted.

Kim’s hand absently went to her growing abdomen. “More similar than any of us realized,” she said too softly for him to hear.

“Now I just hope we can win this war so I get a chance to know them better,” he added.

“Even if we don’t win, I’m certain you’ll get your chance,” Kim said quietly

“You sound confident,” he commented.

Kim smiled to herself, but said nothing.

* * * *

As they had feared, Jackie deteriorated visibly after they boarded the shuttle. Even though her arms were bound behind her and her mouth taped, she had struggled to reach the loyal guards of the craft, and then the pilot. Behind the looks of hatred she kept throwing towards her friends there was a glimmer of awareness, a sense that she knew what she was doing and was helpless to stop herself. 

Philip finally gave up hope that she would be able to control herself and pushed her down into a chair. He held her there firmly while Megan fastened a restraining belt over her lap. They dared not even squeeze her shoulder in silent encouragement; it was too risky, given the presence of their pilot. Essential personal belongings had been crammed into one duffel bag and were being brought along under the guise of evidence against the prisoner. Fortunately, no one had questioned them and looked inside, where they would have seen contact lens cases and civilian clothing- hardly the tools of warfare.

Drew kept a neutral appearance, trying to act the part of a disinterested guard. Megan suspected it wasn’t much of an effort for him and cast that problem from her mind. They had enough to deal with without her creating additional problems.

“Taking her to the L.A. ship, huh? Must be a real prize you got there, if you’re taking her to Diana,” the pilot said as he shut the ramp behind them and slid into his seat at the controls.

“Indeed. Diana will be most pleased when we arrive,” Megan replied coolly. She glanced at Philip. A talkative pilot was the last thing they needed! He looked back at her with the same thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

Megan turned her attention to Jackie and watched as the human’s gaze darted around the interior of the craft. Clearly, she was looking for a weapon, or some way to escape. Resigned, Megan drew out the roll of duct tape she had put in the vest of her uniform and tore off a large piece. She tried to ignore the pleading look in Jackie’s eyes as she focused instead on pressing the tape into place, effectively blindfolding her. Philip glanced at her grimly, then nodded his agreement.

* * * *

As they neared L.A., Megan moved to the front of the craft and sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. Drew casually walked up behind her, still out of sight of the pilot, but ready to assist if necessary. 

“Are we almost there?” Megan asked innocently.

“Affirmative. Would you like to radio ahead and have extra guards summoned to take charge of your prisoner? It would free you to reap the benefits of Diana’s praise immediately upon arrival.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Megan said smoothly as she turned in her chair and aimed her laser pistol at him. “We aren’t going to the mothership. If you try to radio for backup, you’ll be dead in an instant.”

“As you wish. We fifth columnists always help each other, right?”

Megan’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him, but she felt a hesitation in her gut. It was possible he was allied with the fifth column. “Then prove yourself. Name your fifth column commander.”

“The one directly above me, or the commander on the L.A. ship?” the soldier said smoothly.

“Either.” Damn, he was good, she thought to herself. Still, this could be a trap. “No, both,” she said, amending her previous statement. She watched him carefully. Any second now, he’d either try to disarm her or speak a name. She saw his hands tremble at the controls and she fired into his side, killing him instantly. Then she laid her pistol in her lap and turned her attention to the console that controlled their flight. “Jacob,” she called, summoning him. 

He left Jackie and moved into the forward section, and Drew moved to the rear to keep an eye on Jackie. “Yes?”

“Where should we set down? Jackie said she wanted to go back to the place you were before. Do you know where it is?”

“I think I can find it,” he said, lifting the body of the dead pilot out of the other seat so he could sit there. They would have to dispose of that later. For now, he needed to help Megan. With regret at the necessity for the killing, he left the man’s limp form in a crumpled heap on the floor behind him. “But we’ll need to set down somewhere nearby, then go the rest of the way by car. A sentry point would probably give us the best access.”

“As soon as they find his body, they’ll know to come after us,” Megan reminded him as she glanced at the corpse.

“Not if there is no body here for them to find,” he replied as he took over the controls and turned the shuttle to head out over the ocean. 

* * * *

Philip pounded on the back door to Judy’s home, hoping she would answer the door. They had hidden the car in the garage next door, though Philip didn’t let on that he had been to Kim’s house before, other than answering an inquiring nod from Megan with a nod of his own. Jackie was still bound and blindfolded, and Philip and Megan had each taken one of Jackie’s arms firmly in their own, guiding her and supporting her when she stumbled. 

Philip tried not to show his relief when the door opened.

“Jacob...” Judy started to greet him. Through the security peephole, she had recognized his face. Now, with the door open, she realized he was not alone, and that Jackie was bound and gagged. “Come on in,” she said, recovering. She swung the door wide and stepped aside.

“We need something to cut the tape on her hands. A knife, perhaps?” Philip suggested as Drew pushed the door shut behind him.

“Mom?” Jeremy asked softly, coming into the room.

Jackie’s head lifted, turning towards the sound of her son’s voice.

With one hand still under her arm exerting gentle pressure, Philip guided Jackie forward into the kitchen. He took the knife Judy offered and worked at the tape binding her hands while Jeremy gently removed the tape from her mouth. 

As soon as her hands came free, she massaged her wrists to restore circulation to the stiff joints. Then she carefully pulled the tape from her eyes. Thankfully, Megan had placed the tape very gently across her face, and only a few lashes came loose in the adhesive as she pulled the tape away. Blinking in the sudden brightness, she opened her arms and hugged Jeremy to her. “You’ve grown,” she said in a hoarse voice. 

Judy produced a glass of water in record time and handed it to her. She gulped it appreciatively, still hugging Jeremy with her other arm. “I’m glad we don’t have to do that again any time soon.” She turned to the Visitors who were watching her carefully. “Thanks. Sorry I was such a handful. It was worse than I thought it was going to be.”

“What was?” Jeremy asked.

“The effects of the brainwashing I endured when I was on the ship. Suffice it to say, Diana was more effective than we first thought.” She leaned heavily on her son, feeling fatigued. “Can we go sit down?”

“I’m sorry! Where are my manners? Come in, sit down. Can I get any of you anything?” Judy asked, recovering from shock.

“Water,” Drew said quietly. Finally, someone was going to notice he was here!

“How about you?” Judy asked, looking at Megan, then Philip. They both nodded. “Go sit down. I’ll bring it in.” 

Philip hung back, waiting for the others to go to the living room. “Have you heard from Kim?” he asked softly while Judy retrieved glasses from the cupboard.

She bowed her head. “She left a note for me a few weeks ago. Andy’s dead.” The tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to ignore them. “She calls every few days now, asking if you or a couple of others have come. She will be calling again today or tomorrow, I expect. Do I dare tell Jackie?” Judy filled two glasses and handed them to Philip to carry.

“She’s going to ask, so it can’t be avoided. Just don’t mention my involvement. She still doesn’t know about that,” Philip said, as she filled more glasses and then picked up the drinks to take in. He waited for her nod and then followed her into the living room where the others were already seated.

“Here,” Judy said, handing the glasses of water to the two Visitors who were sitting on her living room sofa. “By the way, my name is Judy, and that’s Jackie’s son, Jeremy,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Thank you,” Megan said, accepting the drink gratefully. “I’m Megan, and this is Drew.”

Philip looked around the room, thinking of the last time he had been here. Jeremy and Jackie were on the adjacent love seat. One of the dogs, the larger one that had barked and carried on when Philip and Jackie had first come, was lying quietly on the floor by the fireplace, per Jeremy’s command. The smaller dog, Philip noted, was squirming within Jeremy’s grasp, and Judy took him into her own arms in an attempt to calm him as she sat down in a nearby chair, leaving the rocking chair for Philip.

“Have you heard from Kim?” Jackie asked, accepting the glass of water Philip offered her.

“Yes.” Judy looked at the floor, then at Jackie. “She’s okay, but... Andy’s dead.”

“No.” Jackie held a fist to her mouth, rocking slightly as she assimilated the horrible news. Tears streamed down her cheeks unheeded. “How?”

“I don’t know. Kim left me a note in her house several weeks ago. All she said was that Andrew was dead and that he hadn’t suffered. Since then, she has been calling every few days, to see if anyone has come here to get in touch with her. If the pattern holds, she’ll call today or tomorrow.”

“Has she said where she is? What she’s doing?”

“She tells me very little and always calls from a pay phone. She has told me that she is in less danger now than she was before.”

“And we’re supposed to find that comforting? I guess we can stay here until she calls. It sounds like she’s connected to the resistance somehow, and we can join up through her. I do want to check her house, though. She may have left another message there.”

Mentally, Philip echoed her sentiments. Sometime tonight he had to get over there.

“What happened in Phoenix?” Jeremy broke in, changing the subject back to his mother. 

“Don’t ask,” she answered softly.

“Are you going to be okay? Are you still bleeding?” Jeremy persisted.

“I’ll be fine, honey. And my stomach has healed. After all these years, I finally have washboard abs. Remind me to thank Diana for that someday,” she joked bitterly and pulled him to her for another hug. She had no desire to recall the hell she had endured as the conversion’s effects became more evident. The journey from Phoenix today was something she never wanted to think about again. Diana’s physical tortures couldn’t come close to inflicting the pain she had endured as she was trapped inside a body that responded to commands not her own. The compulsion to return to the mothership had overwhelmed her. Had it not been for the duct tape that kept her helpless, she would have betrayed them all. 

* * * *

Martin lay in bed trying desperately to find solace in sleep. What was the passage Karen had recited one night as they discussed the terrifying existence they led on the ship? “The masses of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” She’d attributed it to Henry David Thoreau, though the reference meant nothing to him. Quiet desperation. The phrase had echoed in his mind since that night. It certainly described his life now. Endless shifts that blurred into double shifts, followed by hours of fifth column activity under the guise of relaxation— that was his existence. It could hardly be called a life.

He was back in circulation as far as the female soldiers were concerned, often using this guise to escort fifth column contacts to his quarters or to private alcoves elsewhere on the ship. While he was promoting Karen as his consort, he had curtailed, although not ceased, his other dalliances. Not that he had wanted to circulate.... He’d tired of such activity long before this mission. Endless years at the clinic had cured him of wanderlust long ago. But in a culture where every look, every glance, was monitored, there were few other ways of spreading fifth column information. Of course, some companions were carefully selected for the fact they were loyalists, to muddy the pattern should any of the columnists, especially himself, be exposed. And after garnering so much attention for his relationship with Karen, he had little choice but to continue in the pattern for awhile. 

Martin rolled onto his side and watched Lorraine sleep in the bunk beside him. Her blonde hair was fanned out beside her and he reached out to brush an errant lock away from her face. She’d kept him sane these past few weeks. Though they had never discussed the banquet, they didn’t need to. They shared a silent understanding and comforted each other in the only way they could. 

He sighed and closed his eyes. Despite Lorraine’s presence, the bunk felt empty. Sleep eluded him and he had to force himself to lie still for Lorraine’s sake. He ran a hand along her arm and tried to pretend it was Karen there with him. Every morning when he woke, he half-expected to find her beside him again, whispering sarcastic comments in his ear that he knew were carefully crafted to put distance between them and the dangers of the day. He wanted to feel her warm breath against his skin, one aspect of her physiology she had been unable to disguise. He wanted to feel her strange tongue clash against his own, have her hands massage the tension from his neck and back. He’d give anything to be off the ship, away from this madness. He’d seen the ocean, and he wanted to walk along the shore with her. Just for a few hours, he wanted to forget about duty and sacrifice and honor and lose himself in the human’s embrace. Quiet desperation. Henry had been a wise man, indeed. 

* * * *

Not long after their conversation had worn down into a comfortable silence, the phone rang. Judy answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“Your sister and some... extended family are here.” Judy said, nodding to Jackie’s inquiring look. Jackie gestured that she wanted to talk to her, and Judy nodded again.

“How many others?” Kim asked.

“Three.”

“A fifth columnist named Karen will come for them tonight and take them someplace safe. I have to go.”

Judy stared at the dead receiver in her hand. “She hung up.”

Jackie gaped at her. “What did she say?”

Judy related the terse message.

“That’s it?” Jackie was incredulous. “Does she know who you meant by her sister?”

“Of course she knows. She said she had to go.” Judy looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Usually she talks a little bit longer than that. It sounds to me like you aren’t going to be getting much sleep tonight. Let me get the beds ready so you can all try to get some sleep while you’re able to.” Judy stood up and motioned for Jeremy to stay with his mother.

“Jackie, you said you wanted to go to Kim’s house. Why don’t we do that now, before Karen comes,” Philip suggested smoothly. He and Megan had exchanged a look while he said Karen’s real name, and she raised an eyebrow at the slight emphasis he put on the word. 

He nodded confirmation, and she shook her head slightly in amazement. She was going to see for herself how effective, or ineffective, Kim’s disguise was. She expected to fool her own friend Jackie, whom she had known for years. Either Kim was very naive about her own ability, or very confident. 

“I can go myself,” Jackie said, not wanting to reveal the secret laboratory.

“Under the circumstances, I don’t think so,” Philip told her gently, trying to ignore the hurt look she gave him before looking away.

“Jackie...” Megan started to assuage the effect Philip’s words had elicited.

Jackie held up a hand and cut her off. “Let’s just get it done.”

“I’ll wait here,” Drew said, making no move to leave his comfortable seat on the couch.

Megan nodded agreement, and tried not to show her relief that Drew was staying behind. Now she was free to focus on helping Philip, who had said he needed to get to Kim’s basement before they departed and retrieve a message Kim had left for him, addressed to his prior identity. He had asked her to distract Jackie if necessary, while he went next door by himself. Since that was no longer an option, maybe she could distract Jackie long enough for him to retrieve the note without drawing undue attention. 

After the grueling day, it was difficult to give up the soft haven of the couch. Reluctantly, she pulled herself to her feet.

“Jeremy, stay here, and please don’t argue with me,” Jackie said. She stood up stiffly and massaged her wrists again. 

Her son sank back into his seat with insolent obedience, saying nothing.

* * * *

Once inside Kim’s house, Jackie headed immediately for the basement and the hidden opening in the fake wall. “After her fiancé died, Kim was a bit.... unstable. She had this hidden laboratory built, and kept it secret from everyone but me. It seemed harmless enough, considering the comfort it appeared to bring her. I never dreamed how useful it would be,” Jackie explained, opening the panel. She groped a moment for the light switch, then led them downstairs to the door which opened into the lab.

On the counter lay two plain envelopes. One had her name on it, the other was addressed to Philip. Jackie picked up hers and turned to go.

Megan stopped her. “Wait a minute. I’d like to see the rest of this place. How big is it?” Megan’s curiosity was genuine, and Jackie took a moment to show her the other rooms, small as they were. “She hid down here during a search of her house, you said?”

“Yep. The only bad thing about it is you’re trapped with no other way out if you get caught down here,” Jackie said. 

Satisfied with the tour, Megan led Jackie back out to the lab and to the exit. 

Philip was pacing along the far end of the room, and he brought up the rear as they approached the door. As Jackie turned off the lights he quickly slipped the second envelope into his uniform, then followed Megan up the stairs. He wanted to tear the envelope open now and find out what exactly had gone so wrong in Andy’s rescue, but he made himself wait. Jackie’s condition was too fragile for him to reveal himself yet.

* * * *

When they were once again settled back in Judy’s living room, Jackie carefully opened the sealed envelope. She read the note to herself twice and then threw it onto the coffee table. Leaning forward, she buried her face in her hands and even Jeremy’s touch failed to comfort her. The others sat watching silently, wondering what the note had said.

Finally, Judy leaned forward and picked it up. “May I?”

Jackie waved her hand absently without looking up. 

Judy smoothed the creases of the letter, then put on her reading glasses. She took a calming breath to alleviate the trembling in her hands and read aloud:

Jackie,

Judy will help you until I call. I hope you’re recovering okay. I am aware of your experiences on the ship. God, what a nightmare this has been for all of us. Maybe Andy was the lucky one... he died without suffering. He never knew what was happening. More than that I cannot say- it’s too painful to even think about and words fail me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak of what happened. Suffice it to say, it was the worst day of my life, which gives you an idea of how bad the news of his death was.

I’m alive, physically at least. Can’t tell if I still have a soul. Maybe the numbness that has set in is a blessing. Reality is such a fragile thing, and so is my current grip on it.

I can’t stay here. I know that now; I tried. I have to find another place to hide, where I won’t be alone. Don’t know when I’ll see you. If Karen comes in my stead, trust her as you would trust me. 

I need to see you. I need to lean on you, let you be strong for me. But I know you’re probably just as fragile as I am right now. I think if we leaned on each other, we’d both break.

How did this happen? I’ve asked myself that every day. Still, no answers come that satisfy me. I want more out of life than this terrified existence. How did the Jews ever survive the death camps? Where did they get their strength? How can anyone journey to the depths of hell and emerge sane? Can it be done by someone as weak as I am?

I’m so scared, Jackie... so alone. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. And I’m afraid that when we finally do meet, you’ll turn on me, too, once you know... and I couldn’t bear that.

What am I going to do?

Kim

As he listened to Judy read, Philip struggled to maintain his composure. Fortunately, Jackie was far too distracted to notice his failing attempt to look indifferent. It didn’t matter if Judy or Megan noticed. Drew and Jeremy wouldn’t understand or care. He closed his eyes and tried to remember how Kim had sounded the last time he had seen her on the ship. What could have happened to plunge her into such hopeless despair?

Seeing his faltering composure, Judy decided to take action. She got up and touched Jackie’s shoulder gently. “You’re exhausted. You should go rest while you can. The beds are ready.”

“I’ll wait up for Karen,” Philip offered. “Go ahead.”

Megan nodded, feeling her own fatigue, and touched Drew’s knee. Together, they stood and waited for Judy to lead them upstairs.

“Come on, Mom. I’ll sit with you,” Jeremy coaxed, putting his arm around Jackie’s waist. She acquiesced and let him guide her up the staircase behind Drew.

* * * *

Philip closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the rocking chair. He listened to Judy’s voice which was an unintelligible murmur from where he was sitting. Doors opened and closed, and finally silence settled upon the household. Satisfied that he was alone, he drew out the letter Kim had left him and carefully opened the envelope. She’d written the message in Sirian, and opened with an apology at her mangling of grammar. Skimming the passages, he saw a marked improvement in her syntax, no doubt resulting from continued practice with the language while on the ship.

The first part covered the same subject as Jackie’s note- Andrew was dead, she was coping as best she could. She explained how to contact Judy, and explained how she was calling Judy every few days. Soon, though, the text became less guarded. She revealed her despair and deep-seated guilt over Andy’s death, although she revealed no more information concerning the circumstances of his death. She talked of her gratitude to Martin and himself for helping her as they had, and for keeping her sane. She let that lead into her current feelings of isolation, and confided her suicide attempt. He reread that, surprised that she had tried to end her own life.

I never thought I’d attempt suicide, and it’s not something I’m proud of, but I guess it shows the condition I’m in. Condition? God, I’m starting to talk in riddles and double meanings. I didn’t tell you on the ship, since there was absolutely nothing you could do about it, but you may as well know now. Brace yourself. I’m pregnant.

Philip exhaled sharply and looked away from the note for a few minutes. How had she gotten pregnant? As far as he knew, Kim had only been with him or Martin. A human prisoner? Kim would never have agreed... but what else could it be? Stunned, he turned his attention back to her ramblings.

Believe me, you’re not nearly as surprised as I was. But there is no doubt- my clothes don’t fit anymore! As near as I can tell, Martin is the father. You don’t know about Diana’s forays into reproductive biology, but I had to guard a human teenage girl that Diana took to her lab. Whatever she did to Robin to allow conception inadvertently happened to me, too. I don’t know if I’ll even survive the pregnancy, in all honesty. You and Martin were nowhere near the labs, which only adds to the confusion, since this shouldn’t be possible. But the incident in the lab happened early on in the period we both were on board, and you and I were steering clear of each other at the time. 

Do you have any idea how strange this all seems to me? Somehow, you and I both must have overlooked the issue of birth control in our preparations to go up to the ship! I can’t believe any of this is happening, but the reality is within me, growing every day.

I’m scared, Philip. Not due to prejudice, but due to science. What did Diana do to my body to allow this? Did she do anything that will alter my life-span, or my future health? Can I even survive such a pregnancy? I have nowhere to go for information, no way of getting answers to my questions. The uncertainty is growing every day, and my body is changing in ways I don’t understand. Remember how hard it used to be for me to eat raw meat? I crave it now. Even thinking about the smell of meat cooking makes me ill. While that helped on the ship, I don’t know if it’s what I should be eating. The human body has different nutritional needs and I don’t know if those are being met or not. For now, I have yielded to the cravings.

On the other hand, I can thank this unborn child for my life. I tried to take the capsule, but I was physically unable. It’s like the baby itself prevented me from taking my life, and thus its own. Is this the way it is with your people? If so, how are abortions performed? None of my own training in science can help me now. The answers to my questions will not be found in texts on human reproduction. And since I am alone, I have no Sirians to ask either. If I did, at least then I might be able to understand what is normal for your people, and see what experiences of mine fit in with that. 

What place in this war-torn world is there for a hybrid child and his mother? What cruel fate of racial prejudice and irrational fear lies in store for us? Will either species tolerate us? Or will we be hated equally by both sides? And that poor teenage girl I guarded. We got her off the ship. I wonder, is she pregnant, too?

I’m so alone, and I have no way of finding the resistance, if they’d even have me. So I’ve decided to continue on as Karen. At least then I can use the fifth column contacts I know of to find other columnists to stay with. I don’t like to lie to them, but I don’t know if they’ll accept me as a human. And I cannot face being alone right now. I’d rather be a fraud than be by myself. Perhaps, in time, after I get to know the ones I am with, I will find them receptive to human interactions and be able to divulge the truth. I hope so, but I’m not so naive as to think all Sirians are as open-minded as you. I can’t take the chance of being banished, either. As my time of delivery nears, I’m losing agility. And if I’m to die in labor, I’d rather not be all by myself.

God, I wish you were here. I could use a shoulder to cry on. But at least Jackie has you. I pray her mind was not damaged beyond repair. I can’t begin to imagine her reaction to this pregnancy, and I’m going to need her support in the years ahead, assuming the child and I both survive. I hope Judy will rise to the occasion as well. But again, I can’t predict her reaction.

If, for some reason, I have stopped calling Judy, it should be safe to assume I have been captured and/or killed. In that case, please explain to Judy what I did, and give her the option of knowing what I have just told you. She’ll want to know what happened to me, and after all of her help without questions, she deserves that much. Then warn her to leave her house and go into hiding as I did. Perhaps the fifth column would be willing to help her. Maybe this letter will be proof enough of what you and I did for you to be believed. 

Until we meet again,

Kim

Judy found him staring at the pages when she came back downstairs. The markings on the paper were incomprehensible to her, but the look on his face was unmistakable. “She left you a letter, too?” Since when did Kim know how to read and write in their language?

Philip glanced up, surprised to see here there, then nodded. “She attempted suicide.”

“What?” Judy sank onto the couch, stunned. “What stopped her?”

Philip looked at the pages he held and chose his words carefully. “A small bit of life inside her that was able to overcome the despair. I don’t think she’ll try it again. She says she is going somewhere to be with other people, which should help her. When she wrote these notes, she was alone, and had been for a couple of weeks, right after Andy’s death.” He looked up at her. “I’ll find her through Karen. Kim’s trying to protect Jackie right now, and doesn’t want to burden her. I think it’s one reason she hung up the phone so quickly today. She’s protecting you, too.”

“She doesn’t need to,” Judy replied immediately.

“Probably not, but she feels that she must. And some of the reasons she gives are valid- the less you know, the less you can reveal,” Philip said. “But I think she intends to tell you some things eventually, once the current danger has passed.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know. It could be weeks or even months. It depends on how long a particular fifth columnist is able to maintain his role on the mothership. Right now, too many people on the surface know about him, and Kim is one of them. She isn’t going to tell anyone anything until she knows the information she carries cannot possibly be used to harm the column.”

“And if she dies in the meantime, I’ll go to my own grave with questions,” Judy stated quietly. She understood the necessity, and hated it.

“No. If Kim is killed, her information will be mostly obsolete, and I will be free to tell you everything.”

“So I need to try harder to be patient because it means she’s still alive.” Judy sighed. “I’m trying.”

Philip regarded her sympathetically. “Why don’t you tell me what you do know about what’s going on, and I’ll see if I can add to that.”

* * * *

It didn’t take long for Philip to realize that Judy had been helping them in spite of almost total ignorance of the truth. She knew that Andrew had been taken, as well as Jackie’s son. She confessed her own adult daughter Becky was also missing, which was why she had custody of the golden retriever, which was Becky’s guide dog. Conversation had shifted for a few minutes as Philip learned about the integration of disabled persons into society, then returned to the subject of missing people.

Judy was unaware of the Visitors’ reptilian nature or their real mission; apparently Jeremy had not told her about his own conversation with his mother when Jackie had last been here. Philip enlightened her as gently as he could, but it was a difficult conversation for both of them. When Judy expressed disbelief at their physiology, a rolled-up sleeve and a tear in the pseudoskin covering his arm quickly silenced her. She watched him in mute shock and barely disguised horror as he related the harvesting of humans for food. Tears rolled down her cheeks when he explained about the fifth column effort within the ranks, and the hope the column had for defeating the Leader.

He recognized a box of facial tissues and carefully got up from his chair to take them to her. She started slightly when he knelt beside her. Since her eyes were closed and her head bowed, she had been unaware of his approach until he was right beside her. The image of scales was still vivid in her mind. He pretended he didn’t notice her reaction and offered her the box.

She took a tissue, blew her nose, then looked at him strangely as a thought occurred to her. She looked at the tissue clenched in her fist. “Do your people cry?”

He shook his head.

“Then how...”

“I’ve had practice with Kim,” he said and smiled gently. Cautiously, he moved from the floor to the couch beside her. “And from what I’ve observed, fighting the urge doesn’t help.”

Judy choked on a laugh and cried harder in response. Instinctively, she leaned against him for comfort and he put an arm around her. Thus encouraged, the floodgates opened and the tears flowed freely while sobs shook her shoulders. “What happened to Andy? Was he...” She couldn’t speak the word “eaten.”

“I don’t know. It’s always possible. Diana could also have used him in medical experimentation, or something else we don’t even know about. Don’t torture yourself with the thought,” Philip murmured to her. Gently, he stroked her hair and rubbed her back, two things Kim always found to be soothing.

“Does Kim know what you’ve told me?”

“She knows all of it,” Philip answered. He wondered if Judy realized how all-encompassing the word “all” was in his reply. 

Slowly, the sobs eased and finally ceased. He held her still, coaxing her into leaning back in her seat and settling into the curve of his arm. A pile of used tissues was on the couch beside her, the box in her lap. She took a fresh one and wiped once more at her eyes. “What you must think...” She shook her head, embarrassed at her own emotional display. It was still difficult to comprehend that the man holding her was an alien from another planet who wasn’t even human. The cool touch of his flesh helped her believe.

“I think you are very brave. For you to help as many as you have, with as little information as you knew, took great courage.”

“Kim knows I can refuse her nothing,” Judy said, deprecating her own involvement. All she had really done was do as Kim asked, after all.

“You’ve saved lives, including Jackie’s, possibly Kim’s as well,” Philip countered. He could see why Kim had placed such faith in this woman. He wanted to tell her more, tell her that Kim was the one who was coming tonight. Caution held him back. Judy had been traumatized enough today, and burdening her with the knowledge of Kim’s unusual pregnancy might be too much for her to absorb in addition to everything else. He resolved to try to persuade Kim to talk to Judy herself.

* * * *

Kim hung up the phone and leaned against the brick wall next to her. A part of her was thrilled that she would be able to see Jackie again, but it also meant she would have to be extremely careful. Jackie knew her so well that the slightest slip would give her away. She’d found a temporary home with Ted’s group, and the sense of belonging she felt there sustained her. She couldn’t give that up yet, not even for Jackie. 

Judy had mentioned an extended family. Were they humans or Visitors? Hopefully, Philip was among their number. If she brought other humans besides Jackie back to the sound stage with her, would Ted’s group be willing to accept them? So far, she could only count on Ted and Damian for support. Darlene would be against humans staying with them. Blaine and Alan were ambivalent, but likely to go along with Ted’s decision. Of course, preparing human food would be a problem, since all they had was a fridge. Then there was the potential for mingling during meal times, which could also be a source of tension. The Visitors didn’t have live animals yet, but Kim intended to find a way to get them.

Where would the humans sleep? She and Damian had already liberated two beds from the props building and set up crude privacy screens around them. Maybe Damian would help her find additional furniture to add to their eclectic collection. This was getting complicated. In a way, the complexity of the issues at hand only reaffirmed the value of her masquerade. Her own life seemed difficult, but it was actually relatively simple in view of the alternatives.

Kim checked her watch and pushed away from the wall. Ted had known Kim’s contact was running a temporary safe house for Visitors, and would certainly not try to stop her from going tonight. More likely, he’d want someone to go with her, for her own safety. She’d have to check to see how many passengers the larger of their cars held....

Thus occupied, she headed back to the sound stage.

* * * *

Philip roused when he heard a knock at the door. 

The small dog began to yap and Judy quickly wakened. She was disoriented at first, then remembered feeling drowsy while sitting with the Visitor on the sofa. Apparently, he had let her sleep while he waited for Karen to come. He'd even used an afghan from a nearby chair to cover her up.

“Muff, quiet!” Judy hissed, scooping the small dog up. Philip went with her to the back door, and she didn’t question him when he drew his gun.

She instructed him to look through the peephole, and he recognized Karen immediately. “It’s her,” he said, stepping aside so she could open the door.

Karen saw him waiting for her and fell into his offered embrace. She held back tears of relief as his arms closed tightly around her. “I got your note,” he whispered into her ear, using Sirian so Judy wouldn’t understand. “I’m sorry.”

Her own arms tightened about him before releasing him. He looked into her eyes and was surprised by the calm that he saw there, until he saw the storms lurking at the periphery.

“Pre-ta-nam-a,” she said, smiling and offered her hand for the traditional clasp of greeting.

He took it, and introduced her to Judy, then explained that the word of greeting literally translated to peace. He was amused to watch Kim fake difficulty remembering the custom before she extend her right hand for the traditional human handshake.

“Where are the others?” Kim asked when the introductions were over. Her uniform did nothing to hide her expanding abdomen, and she sensed Philip’s scrutiny. They had so much to talk about, she could barely contain herself.

“Sleeping. Come in and sit down while we wake them,” Judy said, stifling a yawn. 

“We should go as soon as possible. I have a stolen car out front that could attract unwanted attention if left there for too long.”

“Agreed,” Philip said, then turned to Judy. “You wake Jackie. I’ll get Megan and Drew, if you show me what rooms they are in.” 

“This way,” Judy said, and headed for the stairs, still trying to quiet the growling dog she held in her arms.

* * * *

Their departure was uneventful and, thankfully, swift. Kim had wanted so badly to collapse into Judy’s arms and confess everything that it made the brief encounter an excruciating eternity. Philip seemed to have a good rapport with Jackie, though, and she was pleased her almost-sister had learned to lean on him. He sat in the back seat, with Jackie sandwiched between him and Megan. Drew had said nothing after their introduction and Philip had met her eyes in a silent communication that told her the sulking Visitor was not happy with his current situation. Well, who was? At least he made an effort to get along with the rest of them, which was more than could be said about Darlene. Megan seemed friendly enough, and showed signs of a strong friendship with Jackie. How had they met, she mused? 

She felt Megan’s piercing gaze and wondered why she was the object of such scrutiny. She glanced in the rear-view mirror and met Philip’s eyes. He was watching her, too, but not nearly as intensely as Megan. 

“Where’s Kim?” Jackie asked, breaking the silence.

“Someplace safe. She’s okay, so you don’t need to worry about her. Right now, I think she is more concerned about you,” Kim answered. Megan’s gaze intensified until Kim could imagine it pressing against her skin. What had her so intrigued?

“Then why is she avoiding me?”

“She isn’t. Her situation is just more complicated than you realize.” Kim’s mind raced, desperate for a topic to switch the conversation to. She slowed the car to make a right-hand turn, then turned her attention back to her companions. At least Jackie was the only human in the group, which would make it much easier for the Visitors to be accommodating. “I need to warn you about Darlene. Her view of humans is rather poor, and she has made sure everyone knows it. Frankly, she’s miserable for any of us to be around, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she refuses to speak to you or acknowledge you in any way. The rest of us sort of wish she’d include everyone in that favor.”

“She’s that bad?” Philip asked. It did help explain why Kim was still posing as Karen.

“Worse than you can imagine,” Kim said, meeting his gaze briefly through the mirror. “Diana would have helped all of us if she had put Darlene in charge of public relations. The humans would have organized a rebellion within a week.” 

Kim turned her attention to her friend of more than a decade. “Jackie, we have money, but you’ll probably need to go to the store yourself and pick out food. I suspect you’ll find the current selection rather unappetizing. We have a small refrigerator, but no way of cooking anything,”

“That won’t be a problem. I’m a pro at campfire cooking,” Jackie said before leaning her head on Philip’s shoulder. This was not what she had imagined her return to L.A. to be. Kim was avoiding her, and now Jackie had the dubious honor of being the sole human to live with a group of fifth columnists, one of whom was so antagonistic her own people despised her. God, she hated war.

* * * *

Kim showed the newcomers around briefly before retiring for some much-needed rest. Jackie had claimed one of the beds with the blessing of the Visitors, who wanted her to have as much privacy as she desired. Kim tried to hide her jealousy when Philip laid down with Jackie, apparently intending to spend the night there. Shame and guilt quickly followed. Jackie was obviously suffering after-effects from her ordeal on the mothership, and Kim had no right to begrudge her Philip’s support. She fought the urge to break down in tears and finally dozed. She wakened when the mattress shifted beneath her. 

“Shh. It’s just me,” Philip whispered as he laid down beside her. He took Kim in his arms and brushed the hair back from her eyes. “Jackie’s finally asleep.”

Wordlessly, she looked at him. His reddish-gold eyes were barely visible in the dim light, but she heard the sympathy in his voice, felt it in his touch. It reached through all of the barriers she had carefully erected around herself since going to Paul, and left behind it a path for her emotions to flow through. As he held her in the darkness, the tears came.

Philip held her, as he always did, with great tenderness. He spoke words of comfort softly into her hair and asked no questions. From past experience with her, he knew that conversation would only be possible once she had released her feelings. “I’m here, Kim, you’re not alone,” he repeated again and again, until it became a whispered mantra that lulled her to sleep.

* * * *

When Kim woke the next morning, she was again alone in the bed. She looked at her watch and moaned at the early hour, sensing further sleep was not on her body’s agenda for the morning. Sluggishly, she pulled her clothes on and headed for the refrigerator. 

Jackie was up too, looking disdainfully at the food on the table. Kim smiled at her and said, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Decently. Interesting selection you have here. Can’t say I’ve ever sat down and eaten a container of shortening before.” Jackie was eyeing the table with a raised eyebrow. 

“I warned you.” Kim smiled and retrieved a package of hamburger from the fridge. She removed the wrapper, then hesitated. Her own tightrope act between two cultures had just become more difficult, and she had a new empathy for how the Visitors felt around humans they didn’t know. What a burden, to always be on guard for fear of offending someone.

“You won’t bother me, don’t worry,” Jackie said absently, waving a dismissing hand in Karen’s direction. “I don’t suppose you have a can opener?” Jackie picked up a can of soup and turned to her.

“What does it look like?”

“I guess that’s answer enough. Hurry up and eat your breakfast, girlfriend; we’re going shopping.”

Kim tensed involuntarily at the word “girlfriend.” Did Jackie suspect? Or was she just being friendly? She watched Jackie carefully while eating the hamburger and decided it was the latter. Great. Now she had to feign ignorance in a grocery store, rather than stock up on the few human foods that still appealed to her. “Ted has the money.” 

“Do you mind going with me?” Jackie watched the Visitor and wondered why she was so tense. Megan didn’t act like this around her. 

Kim shook her head. “I could use the exercise.”

Jackie nodded, then glanced at Karen’s abdomen. “When are you due?”

Kim blanched beneath the mask and felt her lip quiver and quickly turned away. “I’m... I’m not sure.”

“Sorry... I didn’t realize it was a sensitive subject,” Jackie said hastily. Damn! She’d certainly not helped her case with the Visitor. She made a mental note to ask Megan if there were cultural taboos about discussing pregnancy. “Forget I mentioned it. I’ll go get the money. Come get me when you’re done?” Jackie waited until she saw the back of Karen’s head nod once, and then left the room.

“Are you Ted?” Jackie asked the friendly-looking Visitor who was listening to... the most diverse collection of electronic equipment she had seen in a long time. 

“No, Damian. You must be Jackie,” he said, smiling at her. “Ted’s sleeping. He pulled the night shift. What do you need?”

“Karen said he had the money.” Jackie smiled back at him and leaned against the door jamb. She hooked her thumb in the direction of the room next door. “That is the sorriest selection of breakfast possibilities I’ve seen in, what...twenty-four hours? I want to go shopping for some real food, preferably cooked, but I only have about ten bucks on me.”

“Here,” Damian said, pulling open the desk drawer. “Take whatever you need. Do you know where the nearest store is? Do you want someone to go with you?” He watched her kneel down and flip through the bills in the drawer.

“Thanks, no, and Karen is.” Jackie bowed her head. “I know I’ve been converted too much to dare going alone.” She pulled her left hand out of the drawer and deliberately began to use her right.

“Hey, take it easy,” Damian said. He hesitated, then put his hand on her shoulder. It was the first time he had ever touched a human and he was surprised at how much warmth radiated through her shirt. “It can be dangerous for any of us to go alone, not just you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jackie sighed, then raised her face so she could look at him. “It’s just...”

“No apology necessary.” He left his hand on her shoulder, but indicated the drawer of cash with his eyes. “Is there enough there for you?”

She nodded, grateful for the change in subject. “More than enough, for now. Don’t you worry about the supply running out?”

Damian reluctantly withdrew his hand and she stood. “No. Paul’s got a steady supply, and Karen has a contact who supplies her, too.”

“About Karen...” Jackie hesitated, then lowered her voice. “Is there some cultural taboo I should know about or something? I asked her when the baby was due to be born and she got a real strange look on her face.” 

“It’s an unusual case,” Damian answered softly and she leaned closer so she could hear him. “Diana apparently conducted some medical experiments with some of the crew as well as the prisoners. Karen’s child is a hybrid.”

“Oh,” Jackie breathed softly, “That explains a lot. Okay. Don’t mention the pregnancy. Got it,” she said to herself as she straightened. “That why she turned fifth column?”

“No. It was a case of cooperating with Diana to maintain her position on the ship. Diana is very good at detecting so-called traitors.”

“She’s good at torture, too. It seems she’s a woman of many talents!” Jackie resumed a conversational tone. 

Damian smiled. “I’d rather she worked on developing a talent for dying.”

“Maybe we, her loyal fans, will be able to help her develop the skill.” Jackie winked at him and went to see if Karen was almost ready to leave.

She checked, but Karen wasn’t in the dining room. Turning, she saw her standing near the shuttle, talking quietly with Jacob. It was obvious from the way they stood together that they were old friends and viewed each other affectionately. She saw Jacob watching her out of the corner of his eye before he turned his back to her and pressed his cheek to Karen’s forehead. The pregnant Visitor said something in return, but Jackie couldn’t quite make out the words. “I’m ready,” she said to Jackie as she released Jacob’s hand from her grasp and stepped away from him.

“Lead the way,” Jackie said, smiling as they headed towards the door at the far end of the building. She resolved to break through this particular Visitor’s reticence, no matter how long it took. No one could go through a pregnancy without some misgivings, and Darlene was an unlikely confidant for Karen to turn to.

Strange, how human she looked in her maternity clothes. And the sun was bright enough that even the sunglasses were not unusual. But a single syllable would betray her nature to anyone she encountered. Hell of a way to live, Jackie mused. And all of the Visitors she was with shared that fate. Megan handled it well, but Drew brooded behind a facade of indifference. How did Karen view the problem? After the faux pas with her earlier question, Jackie was hesitant to broach the subject. What were they supposed to talk about? The weather? “So, have you been on the surface long?”

“A few weeks,” Kim replied carefully. How had she gotten herself talked into this?

“How did you find this group? Does everyone on the ship know where to go?”

“Not everyone. It’s hard to share information, even within the column. But I knew where to find Paul, and he sent me here.”

“Who’s Paul?” Jackie asked. It was the second time Paul’s name had been mentioned this morning.

“A fifth columnist stationed in the red light district. Some of the prostitutes there help gather intelligence.”

“The hookers are helping the resistance?” Jackie didn’t even try to hide her surprise. 

“The fifth column,” Karen said.

“Same thing,” Jackie said, brushing off the correction.

“No, it’s not, though the two groups share some of the same goals.”

“Only some?”

“What do you care if the Leader is overthrown, as long as Earth is preserved?” Kim said quietly.

Jackie didn’t have an answer to that. Why wouldn’t the Visitor look her in the eye? She just stared straight ahead, giving minimal answers to Jackie’s questions. The Visitors were certainly capable of conversation; witness Megan’s willingness to talk. What was with this woman? Jackie started to reach a hand out to take Karen’s sleeve, then dropped it back to her side, not wanting to offend. Instead, she stopped in place. 

Karen went another step, then stopped and turned. Well, at least she was looking at her now, Jackie thought. “Have I done something to offend you?” she asked.

“No.”

“Then why have I had easier conversations with my gynecologist during my annual?” Jackie asked. She remained where she was and folded her arms across her chest. In response, all she got was a look of confusion.

“Annual?” Kim asked, trying desperately to look confused instead of amused. It was good to hear Jackie’s unique brand of humor again.

“Forget it.” Jackie looked skyward, then back at the Visitor. “You don’t like me.”

“Do I know you well enough to dislike you?” Kim asked in a very bland tone.

“Then you have a hang-up with humans in general.”

“Don’t confuse me with Darlene.” Kim’s voice had a hard edge to it.

Jackie almost said something else, but sensed Karen was searching for the right words, so she closed her mouth and waited.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” the Visitor finally asked.

“You’re saying we’ve met before?” Jackie studied the face carefully, but had no sense of recognition, even vaguely.

Kim nodded. “On the ship. I was there when you were revived from storage after your arrival. I helped escort you to the interrogation chamber.” Kim’s stomach was threatening violent retaliation for the emotional turmoil, but she swallowed and tried to fight the nausea. She had to get a sense of Jackie’s degree of bitterness. She and Philip still hadn’t talked about the condition of Jackie’s mind, so she didn’t know if revealing her identity would be a good idea. But the truth was going to come out sometime, and this was a good chance to test the proverbial waters. She watched her friend of many years carefully as Jackie’s eyes became unfocused, her attention directed inward.

Jackie finally exhaled loudly and shook her head. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened on the ship. The bits I do remember, I’d rather forget. As far as I knew, we met last night.”

Kim nodded once, wondering what to say next.

Jackie spared her the effort. “Look, I don’t blame you for what happened to me. If it weren’t for the fifth column and Jacob, I would either be dead or Diana’s willing servant. Blaming my allies would be rather ungrateful of me, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps. But you are human, with reactions that can be difficult to predict,” Kim replied.

“Me? I’m easy to predict. You just have to remember one rule: expect the unexpected.” Jackie was rewarded with a smile, and mentally congratulated herself for the small victory. Within a week, this Visitor was going to be putty in her hands.

* * * *

As he had the previous night, Philip laid down beside her once Jackie was asleep. Kim snuggled up against him and lost herself in the safety of his embrace. Her back pressed against his front, his arms circled around her expanding waist. The area behind the privacy screen was softly illuminated by the light spilling from the office where Alan was monitoring the radios. 

She took his hand and moved it to another spot without explanation. Soon, he felt movement beneath his fingers, much to his surprise.

“Did you feel that?” she whispered, knowing he had from the change in his muscle tension.

“Was that...”

“The baby kicking. Or punching. Or who knows what other acrobatics he or she is doing.”

“Does it hurt?” His voice held quiet amazement, and he kept his hand pressed against her with anticipation. 

“Not usually. Now and then he gets me in the ribs, and that doesn’t feel very good. But most of the time, it doesn’t hurt. It’s still a bit early for you to be able to feel it, though. But who knows what’s normal in this case.” She fell silent again and let him continue to track the baby’s movements.

They lay that way for several minutes before Philip broke the spell. “What happened on the ship?”

Kim sighed. She had known he was going to ask. “It was just bad luck. Martin got Andy’s name onto the transfer list and he was scheduled to be moved.”

Philip said nothing and waited patiently for her to continue.

“He caught someone’s eye- most likely he fit one of Diana’s profiles. I’ve filled her requests myself. Even if we had known, there was nothing we could have done.”

“You didn’t know until later, did you?” he asked softly.

Kim shook her head in the dim light and whispered, “No.”

“When did you find out?”

“When I saw him,” Kim said. She saw Andy clearly in her mind’s eye. Bile rose in her throat as her mind returned her to the banquet. “I died that day.”

Philip considered that and compared it to what he knew about her. “There’s more you aren’t telling,” he said, then waited. He didn’t want to press her, since he knew from her notes that it had been a horrible experience. Kim stayed silent, neither confirming nor denying his statement. 

“Kim, you’re too strong to try suicide just because Andy died. I suspect you tried that option because you feel guilty. Fight it. You did the best you could to save him. You have nothing to feel guilty about,” he said with conviction.

He felt her trembling in his arms and knew he was breaking through her fragile, carefully constructed defenses. “What do you think Andy would say if he were here? Do you think he’d want you to carry this guilt for the rest of your life?”

“You don’t know what happened... Andrew would never forgive me. I can’t forgive myself,” Kim whispered.

“What did Diana want him for?”

“Don’t ask, please, don’t ask. If you knew, you’d get as far from me as you could, and I need you too much...,” she pleaded with him.

“Kim.” Philip moved away, then made her roll onto her back so she could look at him. “I’m not going anywhere. I could never despise you. I respect you too much for that. Whatever happened, I know you tried your best. There was nothing more you could have done. Let go of the guilt.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. Tears streamed from her eyes and wet her hair as she looked up at him with pleading eyes. “It was too awful. I feel sick just thinking about it.”

Philip’s sense of foreboding grew and he ran the back of his hand along her wet cheek.

Kim continued in a detached tone. “After you left with Jackie, Diana decided the crew needed a reminder of the mission...”

He said nothing, knowing that any false move on his part would drive her back into herself. He met her gaze with unblinking eyes.

“All of the senior officers were required to attend... including me.”

Still, he met her gaze, neither blinking nor looking away. 

Kim had to look away; she couldn’t bear to watch the horror spread across his features, the horror she knew would appear when she told him. But she desperately needed to talk to someone about it and hear it wasn’t really her fault. “She organized a banquet...” She was unable to finish the sentence, and struggled just to breathe.

It was enough, though, for Philip. Suddenly, he knew what had happened to Andrew, and worse, to Kim. Andrew hadn’t suffered from his fate, but Kim was unable to move past that night. He pressed his fingers to her chin and forced her to look at him. “There was nothing you could do,” he told her gently.

“You don’t understand...” Kim managed to whisper between desperate, silent sobs.

“Yes, I do.” His voice was firm, commanding, yet so soft it was barely audible. 

Kim was helpless to look away. She searched his eyes for horror, for revulsion, and found only compassion. Surely he didn’t understand. 

“Listen to me,” Philip demanded.

She felt his fingers increase their pressure on her chin, grounding her in the present.

Philip continued, “He was already dead. That couldn’t be changed. But if you were discovered, think what would have happened. Diana would have tortured you, and moved on to Martin. The entire fifth column was at stake, and you did what you had to do to protect the living. If Andrew would not have understood that, then he wasn’t worth saving in the first place. You tried. You did everything you possibly could. You have nothing to feel guilty for.”

Her eyes said she wanted to believe him, but he could sense the guilt ran too deep to be so easily relinquished, so he pressed on. “Tell me this. How does suicide honor Andrew’s memory? If you really love him, and I know you do, you’ll keep fighting for the ones who don’t have a sister to go after them. You’ll save others in his name; you’ve probably already done so. Let go of the guilt.”

“Not everyone will see it the way you do,” Kim murmured, obliquely telling him the other problem she was having.

“Then don’t tell them. You know you did what you had to, just to survive. Getting yourself killed at the banquet wouldn’t have brought Andrew back. You know that. You don’t have to justify your choices to anyone else. And if the truth will make others pass an unfair judgment on you, withhold it. Tell them what you told Jackie and Judy- that he died without suffering, and you don’t want to talk about it. It’s the truth. It’s all they need to know.

“I won’t let you do this to yourself, Kim. Jackie needs you too much,” Philip continued. Kim seemed to be driven more to help others than by selfish motives. Perhaps he could use Jackie’s condition as a reason for her to keep living.

“She’ll hate me, once she knows how I’ve deceived her.”

“She won’t hate you. She’ll be angry, but she’ll get past it. And what about Judy? She’s so worried about you. And I know you’ve done a lot to improve the situation here.” Philip’s hand moved down to rest on her swollen abdomen. “You have too much to live for to give up now.”

“I’m trying, really I am...” Kim took a shaky breath and changed the subject, desperate to distance herself from the torrent of emotions she always felt when thinking about Andy’s death. “Tell me about Jackie. Can we trust her?”

Philip settled down beside her again, and she turned onto her side so they could snuggle as they had before. He nuzzled the back of her neck gently before he answered. “I’m not sure, but I think so. We do have to be careful about her surroundings. If she’s in the building with us, she’s okay. But if you put her on a shuttle, she is helpless to fight the effects of the conversion.”

“I waited too long,” Kim said sullenly.

More guilt! “No. Diana is skilled at what she does,” Philip corrected her

“She doesn’t know about me. Do you think I should tell her?”

“No. Megan knows, though. Jackie is still trying to deal with the way the Phoenix resistance reacted to her return. The effects of the conversion have slowly gotten worse since she left the ship. We had to bind her hands and tape her mouth shut to get her to L.A. without betraying us. It was her idea, actually. She’s fighting it, but I don’t know if she’ll be able to hold out. And if she does lose this battle with herself, the less she knows, the safer it is for the rest of us. Everyone here already associates you with Martin. Jackie has probably heard them talking, and if she finds out who you are...”

“The trail leads right to him,” Kim finished for him. “At least I know why Megan’s been watching me so intently. I’m surprised she hasn’t said something to me.”

“I’m not. She’s not like that.”

Kim sensed more in his voice than respect, and couldn’t help but ask, “Exactly how well do you know her?” She took a deep breath and brushed the tears from her cheeks. 

Philip didn’t answer. He knew she understood his culture in theory, but was uncertain how she would deal with the reality. Would she view his relationship with Megan as a personal betrayal?

When her question evoked only silence, she shifted on the bed so she could look at him again. “Ummhmm. Just what I thought,” she said with a straight face. His thoughts were so easy to read, even with the human contacts he had yet to remove for the night. She let him squirm for a long moment, then smiled at him. “Gotcha,” she whispered, still grinning. 

His eyebrows shot up, and he pulled her closer. “You’re impossible,” he said and smothered her response with a kiss.

* * * *

Jackie walked back from the far end of the building, where she had prepared yet another monotonous meal using a propane grill. She balanced her plate in one hand and leaned over the back of the couch where Karen was lying. “Passionate Embrace,” she said, reading the title from the spine of the paperback romance novel the Visitor was reading. “I sure hope you don’t assume all human relationships are like what you’re reading about.” 

Kim glanced up at her and smiled slightly. “No. I saw it was labeled as fiction.” She pointed to the cover. “And I have yet to see any humans dress in such a fashion.”

“Most of us don’t have the figure to wear that sort of thing even if we wanted to. Where’d you find that, anyway?” Jackie picked up a hot dog and took a bite. She was getting rather tired of grilled meat, but at least it was cooked. How many hot dogs had she eaten since they got to L.A.? She decided that maybe it was best not to count 

“In the desk where the money is kept,” Kim answered. Should she mention she was now on her third time through the novel, driven to read it yet again out of sheer boredom? Her stomach rolled warningly at the smell of the cooked hot dogs.

“Is it any good?” Jackie’s mind raced, trying to think of ways to prolong the conversation. 

“The use of your language is interesting.”

“That’s one way of describing it.” Jackie laughed and pushed her hair behind her ear, then glared at her left hand. “Are you an avid reader?”

“Lying here doing nothing is boring,” Kim answered without answering and picked up the book again.

Sensing the conversation was over, Jackie wandered next into the radio room. She plopped down in the extra chair that sat in the room and sighed. Jacob’s close relationship with Karen had not escaped her attention, though it had surprised her as she had finally recognized his affair with Megan. Since their arrival at the sound stage, however, Megan seemed to be circulating quite freely among the men, including the two she had traveled with, while Karen was receptive only to Jacob’s advances. For all her curiosity, though, she couldn’t broach the subject with Megan. It seemed to Jackie that her questions would be too much of an invasion of privacy, even by Visitor standards. Nocturnal activities aside, Jackie hoped Jacob would be able to give her some understanding of Karen’s attitude towards her.

Philip regarded her with sympathy before turning his attention back to the equipment. “What’s wrong?”

Jackie pushed the door closed and spoke softly, so Karen wouldn’t hear her. “What is Karen’s problem? We’ve been here for almost three weeks, and getting her to talk to me is like nailing pudding to the wall. What have I done to make her so uncomfortable around me?”

Philip leaned back in his chair and considered how to respond without saying too much. “It’s nothing you have done.”

“She’s not this distant with the rest of you— okay, Darlene is an exception, but Darlene’s a whole ’nother problem— Karen insists I have done nothing to offend her, and doesn’t care that I’m human. And I know the smell of the grill has bothered her on occasion, but she hasn’t complained about that either.” Jackie finished her meal in a few quick bites.

“She’s telling you the truth.”

“So what is the problem?” Jackie asked. Her frustration was written on her face.

“Her situation is difficult and complicated in ways you know nothing about,” Philip told her.

“But how is that related to me?”

“It just is. There are many things you don’t know about us, Jackie.”

Jackie sighed, clearly unsatisfied. “So, is this a cultural problem, or does it stem from the fact that I was on the ship and in the conversion chamber?”

Philip adjusted one of the settings before he answered her. “There are many reasons, in both of those categories. The fifth column is a very fragile network of contacts that extends into the highest levels of the fleet. Karen has circulated among those higher levels, and has to be especially careful because of it.”

“Yeah, I’ve figured out that Martin’s fifth column, and don’t even try to deny it. But I know that, so what’s the big deal?” Jackie demanded.

“I can’t say any more, I’m sorry.” Philip didn’t even try to hide the sympathy he felt. “In time, you’ll understand. Try to be patient.”

“How patient are we talking here? Weeks? Months? Years?” Jackie pressed.

“I don’t know....” Philip paused a long time before continuing. “The day will come when you’ll get your answers. But you should be warned, you may not like what you learn.”

“I can handle it,” Jackie said, dismissing his warning.

“I hope so, for everyone’s sake,” Philip replied softly. 

Something in his tone raised the hair on the back of Jackie’s neck. She looked deep into his eyes, but saw nothing amiss there, only genuine concern that Jackie could handle the truth. Somehow, that only added to her unease, and she soon excused herself and left the room.

* * * *

Martin went directly to the main recreation hall at the end of his shift. He was exhausted and longed to retire for the night, but he was supposed to meet with Donovan in the morning. Diana had scheduled a staff meeting for the same time, leaving Lorraine to scramble to find a suitable replacement for Martin’s journey to the surface. He was meeting his replacement here to brief her on the mission.

He got himself a drink and a container of mice, then sank into a chair. Sipping his drink, Martin removed the data pad from the pocket in the vest of his uniform and turned it on. If anyone asked, he was simply reviewing crew records. That much was true; this just happened to be the record of the fifth columnist who was to meet with Donovan. Her Earth name was Laura, he noted. Then he saw her age. In Earth years, she was barely 18. Soldiers started their careers early, but Laura had just arrived on Earth with Pamela’s ship. She was rather inexperienced for Lorraine to have recommended her. A closer look at her records revealed the source of Lorraine’s faith. Laura had been at the very top of her class at the academy, and she had an excellent record of performance in all aspects of her training. All she lacked was field experience. If anything, her rank was lower than it should have been.

Martin wished he could accompany her to the surface and help ease her transition from the academy to the field. But the columnists were too few in number to worry about trivial things like experience. If she was as competent as her training indicated, she would perform well.

He noted with interest a comment made by one of her instructors at the academy: “Laura is exceptionally talented and shows great promise for a career in the upper levels of command. The only thing that will prevent her from fulfilling her potential is her reluctance to interact closely with her crew mates. She prefers to spend her time alone, and only rarely frequents the recreational facilities.”

Martin nodded to himself, recognizing a kindred spirit. Lorraine shared his distaste for the fleet’s current system of advancement and may have picked Laura for just that reason, knowing Martin would talk to her about how to cope.

Next he called up an image of her human appearance. Dark brown eyes were framed by an equally dark face. Her dark wavy hair was cut short. By human standards, she was stunningly beautiful. She was also one of the few soldiers given the appearance of the African American sector of the human population. For some reason, ethnic diversity was grossly underrepresented on the L.A. ship. He called up an image of her true face and confirmed her pseudoskin matched her natural level of beauty.

Young, talented, intelligent... and fifth column. Her allegiance greatly lowered her chances of surviving the war and Martin found the idea of her potential being wasted distressing. He turned the data pad off and returned it to the pocket of his uniform vest. His thoughts turned inward as he sipped absently at his drink and leaned back in his seat to wait.

* * * *

He recognized her as soon as she entered and sat down. She looked ill at ease and her efforts to hide her discomfort fell far short of her goal. He picked up the container of mice from his table and went over to her. 

Laura stiffened visibly when he sat down and he smiled gently at her. “Relax, Private,” he said as he pushed the container of mice towards her. He removed one for himself and nodded encouragement to her. Slowly, she reached in and snared one of the frantic rodents.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” he commented before swallowing the mouse that was squirming in his grasp. 

“No, sir,” she answered, avoiding his gaze. 

Martin was unable to determine who looked more trapped, the soldier before him, or the mouse she held. The snap of a neck put the latter out of its misery before she swallowed it. He decided to try a different approach with her. “Are you trained in the use of the long-staff?” he asked, knowing she excelled with the weapon from his earlier scan of her records. The English translation of the weapon’s name grated on him and he wondered who had chosen the term; certainly the translator had no personal experience with it.

Laura became animated and her military bearing straightened even more. “Yes, sir.”

“Would you care to join me in the gym for a practice session?”

“I... I would be honored, sir,” Laura whispered. He was offering to train with her? She hoped she would avoid making a fool of herself.

“Good,” Martin said. He looked at his chronometer. “Go change out of your uniform and meet me in the officers’ gym in fifteen minutes. We’ll see how effective your training has been.”

“Yes, sir!” Laura answered and jumped to her feet, smiling. “Thank you, sir,” she added quietly before heading to the exit.

Martin watched her leave, then studied the glass in his hand for a long moment before finally finishing the drink. He placed the glass back on the table and pushed it away from him. In spite of his fatigue, he was looking forward to the workout. His own time in the gym had been limited to solitary practice of late, and then only infrequently. 

* * * *

Laura was waiting in the corridor for him when arrived at the officers’ gym a few minutes later. Her unisex exercise tunic, like the one he wore, was loose fitting and allowed for ease of movement. Her sleeveless bodysuit stopped just above the knee, revealing muscular legs that even pseudoskin couldn’t make unattractive. He pressed the panel next to the door and gestured for her to enter as soon as the panel opened.

The room was empty, giving them their choice of workout surfaces. Martin activated the lights and scanned the room to consider their options. He quickly dismissed the gravel area, since it would quickly shred the pseudoskin on their feet. The bare floor was unforgiving of falls, and the lightly padded sector felt too artificial. He preferred the challenge and benefits of sand, and moved to the center of the sand arena. He stretched his legs while waiting for Laura to retrieve the weapons from the rack on the wall. 

Per protocol, she offered him his choice of weapons, and he took the one she held in her left hand. He tested its weight and balance and stepped away so they could both complete the ritual stretches.

In combat, the ends of the metal rods would be sharpened to deadly points. The practice staffs, however, were rounded on the ends, and contained sensors that beeped when contact was made. The two-meter pole felt like an extension of his hands, in spite of the pseudoskin, as he manipulated it through familiar motions. The lightweight alloy had been polished until it shone, save for two areas that had been roughened to enhance one’s grip.

When Laura indicated she was ready, he stepped closer and held his staff diagonally across the front of his body. A ritual nod prodded her to action and they worked their way through the maneuvers taught at the academy. He was pleased to see she remained confident as the exercise increased in complexity. She was good, enough so that with a few more years of practice, she would surpass his own skill with the weapon.

* * * *

They continued for almost an hour before they reached the upper limits of her training. The only sounds in the room were the clinks of metal contacting metal, and the soft scuff of feet shifting in sand. She seemed surprised when he disarmed her and propelled her onto her back in the flick of a tongue. Recovering quickly, she retrieved her weapon and waited eagerly for him to teach her both the maneuver and the proper counterattack. He was impressed at the speed with which she mastered the moves, and he ended up teaching her two more maneuvers before deciding they had done enough for one day. 

“If you continue your study of this weapon, you will surpass me in only a few years,” he told her when he took the staff from her.

“You flatter me,” she said, looking down. She brushed the sand from her tunic as a way of avoiding his gaze. Too soon, she was being asked to face the reality of this meeting. She would have preferred to continue practicing.

“I have no need to flatter you. Your skill is genuine,” he told her before placing the weapons back in their racks. He could tell she was still uneasy, although less so than she had been in the recreation area. He led her to a small alcove that opened off the gym and sealed the door behind them. 

The room was a small rectangle and devoid of furniture. Most typically, it was used for meditation, though there were times, such as this, when couples sought them out for the illusion of privacy. Even these rooms were monitored on occasion, Martin knew.

He drew her down to the floor and bade her sit next to him, entwining her fingers with his in a pattern that was all too familiar to him. She stiffened slightly, but moved her hand to his wrist. Her head was bowed so she could avoid his gaze.

Gently, he lifted her chin and made her look him in the eye. “We have a lot to talk about and I don’t have the luxury of time to coddle you,” he said softly. His tone removed the sting from the words, but Laura still looked away.

“I know that, sir,” she whispered. “You’ve been more patient than I have a right to expect.”

“Because I empathize,” he admitted.

Her eyes swung back to him, surprise shining through the contacts.

He traced the human curve of her cheek with the back of one of his fingers. “I despise this system of advancement in the ranks even more than you do,” he whispered to her, too softly for the microphones to hear.

“You?!” she whispered.

Martin nodded, knowing how few individuals were aware of his rebellion against the very system he had mastered.

“I don’t think it’s possible,” Laura added, giving voice to her own level of aversion.

“Combine the fleet with the clinic and wait twenty or so Earth years. The depth of your loathing will only grow, believe me.”

Her eyes widened, then she nodded. How could her distaste compare to his, given the difference in their ages and ranks? “How do you cope?”

Rather than answer he stood up and drew her to her feet. He held her close and whispered in her ear, “Come back to my quarters with me. It’s more comfortable there. Once I’ve given you the information you need for your assignment, I’ll try to explain how I’ve survived this twisted system we have.”

The tension left her body and she leaned against him appreciatively. “I would be grateful, sir.”

* * * *

Laura returned to the recreation hall the following evening and looked for Martin. He had apparently been waiting for her, since he rose from his seat near the door and took her arm as soon as she stepped into the room. Wordlessly, he guided her to the corridor and stopped in an empty passageway near his quarters.

“How did it go?” he asked softly, with a quick glance in both directions to ensure they were alone.

“Fine. I can’t wait to go back to the surface again. It is so beautiful down there. And Mike was nice, just like you said he would be, and...”

Martin interrupted her enthusiastic account. “Is there anything they wanted you to tell me?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Laura said, becoming contrite. He was far too busy to listen to her babble about her impressions of Earth. “Mike said he’d meet you next week, but you could send me again in the future if it is ever necessary. He was grateful for the uniforms.” Laura bit her false human lip in an effort to contain her excitement about her morning on the planet.

Martin hid his own amusement and shook his head slightly. Her excitement brought back memories of his initial trip to the surface and other visits since then. The cry of the gulls overhead, the sound of the ocean crashing to shore at his feet... was it any wonder Laura was so animated? “Come tell me about your morning,” he said softly as he took her hand in his and led her to his quarters. 

Laura’s eyes widened in surprise. He wanted to hear about her excursion? She had no news, only silly ramblings. She slowed, causing him to turn and look at her.

“Do you think I don’t understand? I’ve been on the surface many more times than you,” Martin said, smiling at her. Her desire to talk overcame her hesitation and she willingly resumed the stroll to his quarters.

“I see now what you meant by distractions,” she whispered as she hastily removed her uniform. Right now, she was so desperate to talk to someone about her impressions of Earth, she didn’t care what was required to allow for honest conversation. He had told her only last night to separate her mind from her body, and right now, it seemed ridiculously easy to do just that. She barely felt his touch and was unaware of her own responses as she lost herself in telling him about her morning. If only it could always be this simple! She knew, though, that she'd have plenty of cause to try his other suggested coping strategies in the coming weeks. 

“The containers were in the shuttle, just like you said they would be. I checked them again for homing devices, but there were none. Did you know that some of those uniforms are almost undamaged? Whoever picked them out did a good job,” Laura said.

Martin made a mental note to send a compliment through the network to the anonymous supplier of the discarded uniforms.

Laura skipped over her flight to the surface, resuming her narrative with her arrival at the rendezvous. “I took the cases and went inside the old building like you said. It smelled really dusty inside. No one was there, and I sat down on one of the cases and waited...”

* * * *

She never heard him approach, and only knew he was there when she felt the gun in her back. “Breathe wrong and I’ll fill you with holes,” the voice behind her said.

Laura didn’t move, remembering Martin’s warning that the older man would try to provoke her. “I’m Laura. Martin sent me. He couldn’t get away from the ship this morning. Diana called a staff meeting and he had to be there for it.”

A second person moved around in front of her and she had to tilt her head sharply to look up at him. “Put the gun down, Ham.”

The gun pressed even more firmly into her back, and the voice behind her said, “Not until she proves herself.”

Laura said, “Martin said to tell you I’m helping you against the dragon lady.” She didn’t understand the reference, but Martin had told her Mike Donovan would recognize the phrase.

“Put it down, Ham. Martin sent her,” the tall man ordered.

“You must be the one named Mike,” Laura said, looking up at the tall human looming over her. 

He nodded, then knelt down in front of her. His eyes were a pale shade of green. She almost gasped when he put his hand over one of hers. He was so warm to the touch, she failed to notice that the gun was no longer pressing into her back. A shadow passed over her and she turned her head to look at the other man. He looked mean, just like Martin had described him. She liked the green–eyed human better and looked back at him.

Mike stood up and pulled her to her feet. “Are most humans as tall as you are?” she asked in an awed tone when she stood before him.

Mike smiled and squeezed her hand. “No.” 

His other hand touched her cheek and she forced herself to stand still. Martin had assured her that the humans often touched each other without a sexual intent being implied, and had told her that Mike was the type of human who tended to touch his friends a lot.

“Is this your first time on the surface?” Mike asked her.

Laura nodded, wondering how he knew.

“Gooder, cut the starry-eyed crap. We’re here on business,” the older man said.

“Ignore him. He’s like that with everyone,” Mike assured her, though he released her hand and took a half-step away from her.

Laura collected herself and knelt to open the two cases. “New uniforms are almost impossible to get. These have been damaged in fighting, but I think you will be able to repair most of them. There are also some power cells in one of the cases, to power the weapons you have stolen. I’m sorry we were not able to obtain more to give you.”

Mike pulled a uniform out and whistled. “This is great! It’s hardly got a mark on it.”

“Look at the back, Gooder,” Ham said.

Mike turned the uniform around and saw the large charred spot. “Okay, but the front is fine. We can salvage the good sections and fix several uniforms from this one. Tell Martin thank you. And if he ever needs to send someone in his place again, he should think about sending you. Tell him we’ll meet him next week, at the usual spot,” Mike said as he closed the cases.

“Yes, sir,” Laura responded, then turned and lost herself in the shadows.

She walked quickly to her shuttle, trying to focus on returning to the ship and reporting to Martin. But her eyes couldn’t help but notice the vivid blue sky. The sun was warm on her face and there was a breeze that ruffled her hair as she walked. Her hand was still warm from where Mike had touched it, and she could see his green eyes so clearly in her mind. It took all of her discipline to return to the ship.

* * * *

Martin’s voice pulled her back to the present. “You did well, Laura,” he said.

She looked at his eyes, comparing their darker shade to the eyes she had gazed into earlier. “They’re so warm.”

He nodded. “And the sky is the most vivid shade of blue you can imagine,” he reflected and ran his fingers lightly over her face. “Wait until you see the ocean.”

Her face filled with excitement. “I want to see it now.”

“I know.” He sighed and pulled her head down to his so he could whisper directly into her ear. “I may not see you again for some time. I’m very closely watched. But the column will contact you again with assignments. Remember to always assume it’s a trap until the one who approaches you offers proof. The code words change often, and Diana’s spies are everywhere. And remember, the only way the system will change is if people like you get to a position where you can change policy. I expect you to mingle more with the crew, because we need you to rise through the ranks. You have a lot of talent, and I don’t want to see you waste it.”

“Understood, sir. Thank you for giving me this chance,” she nuzzled him once more, then rose to leave. As far as she could tell, he was asleep by the time she had dressed and departed his quarters.

* * * *

Philip scanned the pavement outside for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon and concluded that guard duty was the most boring task ever created. At least they rotated shifts frequently. He paced near the door, trying to stay alert. He almost had the view from his post memorized, down to the cracks in the pavement. He could estimate the time of day simply by the angles of the shadows. He glanced at his watch. Two minutes had passed since he last checked the time. Maybe Ted would trade him posts, so they could exchange one boring view for another. 

It was too quiet, and that didn’t help his concentration either. Megan and Drew were off on a reconnaissance mission, as were Alan and Darlene. Kim was taking her turn at the radio and Jackie was grocery shopping. Unknown to Jackie, Megan and Drew were actually monitoring her, to see how she behaved when faced with Visitor soldiers in the city, while Alan and Darlene were trying to mingle with the troops and glean new information on troop movements. Damian was sleeping and Blaine was lounging in the front compartment of the shuttle. That meant there was no one to even talk to while he stood and watched the area outside. It was almost enough to make him want to be back on the ship, where he was always too terrified to be bored.

A lone figure came around the corner and Philip squinted, trying to identify him by the shape of the silhouette that had a halo of sunlight around it. He shaded his eyes and saw the figure stumble, then catch himself against the building. The figure reached the shadows and Philip recognized Alan. A dark stain on Alan’s right leg told the story.

“Karen, Ted- get out here!” he shouted into the building before running to Alan’s side. Alan collapsed against him and Philip staggered under the sudden weight, struggling to recover his balance. He draped Alan’s arm across his shoulders and half-dragged, half-carried the unconscious Visitor towards the building.

Kim was the first one outside. She assessed the situation quickly and turned to Blaine, who had heard Philip’s call and was right behind her. “Go see if he was followed, then find Darlene,” she ordered, not concerned for the moment with the proprieties of rank.

“Ted, help get him inside,” Kim added, heading back into the building. She barged into the sleeping compartment of the shuttle and flicked on the lights. “Damian, wake up,” she called, reaching for her duffel bag and then for the shuttle’s first aid kit. “Alan’s been hurt. We’ll have to relocate if he was followed.”

By the time she exited the shuttle, Ted and Philip had Alan inside the building. “Put him on the table in there,” she instructed, pointing to the food room. She silently cursed her own awkwardness as she hurried to join them. What a time to be pregnant!

The human food had been shoved aside to make room for Alan. She dumped her bag and the medical kit on the table by his leg and bent to examine the wound. The pseudoskin was shredded around the edges. She muttered to herself, noting how rapidly the blood was oozing from his leg. “I was afraid this was going to happen.” She used a knife to cut away the cloth. “The bullet went in here...” She felt the back of his leg, craning her neck to see. “No exit wound, so it’s still in there. Just my luck. Right next to a major nerve. Getting it out may do more damage than the bullet itself, if he doesn’t bleed to death.”

Straightening, she spoke in a normal volume. “Put your hand here, press hard,” she said, taking Philip’s hand and placing it on what she hoped was a key pressure point. “We’ve got to control the bleeding,” she added as she pressed a thick wad of gauze to the mangled flesh. It quickly turned green as blood seeped from the wound.

“He's as good as dead anyway. He needs more than bandages,” Ted said quietly. 

Kim sighed. "I know that." She glanced at Philip, silently asking for his opinion.

“Should we try to get him back to your lab?” Philip inquired.

“I don’t think we have a choice,” Kim replied. “Ted’s right. I’ve got to operate and get that bullet out, tie off any blood vessels I can’t repair, and irrigate the whole area to prevent infection. He’ll also need pain medication, and we certainly don’t have enough available here.” She bowed her head and closed her eyes, talking to herself. “Why didn’t I go to medical school? I’m hardly qualified to perform surgery... all I’ve ever done are dissections and minor procedures on lab animals.”

"What lab? What are you talking about?" Ted asked.

Kim turned to Damian, who was standing in the doorway. “Bring the car up as close as you can get it,” she said, then turned to take Alan’s pulse.

“I hope he survives the trip. He’s lost a lot of blood. His pulse is already weak.” Kim removed an I.V. line and bag of saline from her duffel bag. “Guess it’s a good thing I checked to be sure this was isotonic for you guys,” she muttered to herself as she cut through Alan’s sleeve and tore the pseudoskin from his arm. 

“Here, hold this.” She shoved the saline bag into Ted’s hands and turned her attention to guiding the needle into Alan’s vein. She taped the tubing in place.

“What lab?” Ted persisted.

"At my house. I have supplies there that will help me get the bullet out. Until then, I can’t use the tissue regenerator.” Seeing confusion in his eyes, she added, “I’m human. I’ll explain the rest later. Right now, he needs treatment.”

Ted stood stunned, watching Kim replace the blood-soaked gauze with a temporary bandage from the shuttle’s medical kit. 

Blaine stumbled in, carrying Darlene’s limp form. 

“Is she hurt?” Kim asked. “Keep the pressure on,” she told Philip, before moving to examine the woman. 

Blaine laid her on the floor and shook his head. “I didn’t see any blood.”

Kim knelt on the floor and checked Darlene’s pulse. It was strong and slow, just as it should be. “How long has she been unconscious?”

“Since I found her. It doesn’t look like anyone followed Alan back here,” Blaine answered, blissfully unaware of the drama playing out between Ted and Kim.

Kim removed Darlene’s contacts and handed them to Blaine so she could check Darlene’s pupils. “Head injury,” she concluded, and ran her fingers carefully through Darlene’s hair, feeling for a tell-tale lump. She didn’t notice Damian’s return.

“Roll her on her side,” Kim told Blaine as she tore Darlene’s wig off. The skin covering the back of her head was unbroken, though there was a definite lump where she had been struck. “At least she isn’t bleeding. She’ll probably wake up soon. I don’t think it’s that serious.”

Ted finally shook off his paralysis. “Karen, we can handle this. Take care of Alan,” he said softly, meeting her eyes for the first time since she’d told him who she was.

Kim nodded and let him help her to her feet. “Let’s get him in the car.” 

She took hold of Alan’s feet, but Philip shook his head at her. “You shouldn’t be lifting him,” Philip told her.

Oblivious to Kim’s revelation, Damian took her place and helped Philip carry Alan to the waiting vehicle. “Where are we taking him?” he asked innocently.

Kim shook her head at him. She needed a minute to regroup and concentrate on Alan. “We’ll explain on the way.” She turned back to Ted as she fished her house key out of her duffel bag. “If you find out later that Alan was followed and have to relocate, we’ll reconnect with you through Paul. I expect we’ll be gone for several days.”

Ted nodded but said nothing. He watched the car leave and forced himself to deal with their more immediate problem. “Let’s put her in the shuttle,” he said and bent to help Blaine lift Darlene.

* * * *

Philip only had to ask Kim for directions a few times as they drove, freeing her to focus on Alan. His pulse was weak, but steady. She tried to ignore the cramps in her own legs, resulting from her awkward position on the back seat where Alan was sprawled. Philip had done her the favor of giving Damian a brief explanation, and she had tried to focus all of her attention on keeping Alan alive, rather than the inner turmoil she felt at possibly losing Damian’s friendship. Damian couldn’t stop watching her, and she tried not to flinch under his intense scrutiny.

When they reached Kim’s house, she got out and opened the garage door, then waved the car inside. Once the garage door was locked behind them, she went to unlock the door to her house, leaving Philip and Damian to get Alan out of the car.

“Freeze!” Kim aimed her gun at the door that was swinging open, then slowly went to see who was entering. “Geez, Judy, you trying to get yourself killed? Get inside and shut the door before anyone sees you.” She called back to the garage, “It’s okay!” knowing Philip and Damian were waiting to see if their help was required. 

Judy snapped out of her daze and quickly stepped aside when she saw Philip and Damian carry Alan inside and down the stairs to the basement.

Once they reached the basement, Kim opened the hidden door and motioned for Judy to enter, then led the others down the second flight of stairs into the lab. Switching on lights, she cleaned off a bench. “Put him up here. Philip, go shut the doors so we don’t pick up any more strays. Damian, find something to hang that I.V. from; you might try the closet over there. Judy, get the halogen lamp and set it up so it shines on his leg.”

Kim gave her orders without questioning if any would be obeyed. She retrieved surgical instruments from the cabinets and assembled them on a cart she pulled over to where Alan lay. After donning gloves and hoping that three layers of plastic would not impede her too much, she injected painkiller near the wound and removed the bandages.

To sterilize the instruments quickly, she dipped them in diluted bleach and then in ethyl alcohol before passing them through a flame. The alcohol ignited and burned blue before going out. After waiting a few moments to let the metal cool, the instruments were ready for use.

She bent to her task with a single-minded focus. The only sounds for several minutes were Kim’s quiet mutterings and the clink of instruments as they were used and added to a discard pile. A bloody bullet was eventually placed next to the discarded scalpels without comment. She used the tissue regenerator in the deepest parts of the wound, then set it aside for more familiar instruments.

Finally, Kim straightened and picked up a bandage. Neat sutures closed the wound, the black threads barely visible against the background of dark green scales. They would dissolve in a few days. She tore a flap of pseudoskin away and cast it carelessly aside before applying a dressing from the shuttle first aid kit. Unlike bandages used on Earth, this one would bond permanently to Alan’s skin. It contained antifungal and antibacterial agents, as well as compounds that would speed healing. It would be shed with the outer skin during Alan’s next molt, and until that time would protect the area like no Earth bandages could.

When the dressing was in place, she checked his pulse and removed his contacts, then said, “I’ve done what I can. Now we wait. Let’s move him to the bed so he’ll be more comfortable.”

* * * *

Unsure of herself, but unable to stay away, Judy followed and watched them settle the Visitor into the bed in the room that opened off the lab. They removed his boots and put a pillow under his right knee so his injured leg would be elevated slightly. When they were done, Philip came and stood next to her, while Damian sank gratefully into a chair. 

The female Visitor adjusted the I.V. line, then turned and approached her. “Judy, in spite of the scare you gave me upstairs, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” Her face broke into a smile. “I can’t believe you don’t recognize me,” she teased.

Judy’s brow furrowed, questioning the only conclusion she could come to. “Kim?”

The woman nodded. “It’s a long story,” Kim said and opened her arms for a hug.

“Kim!” Judy’s voice was more sure. She shut her eyes and embraced her. “How?”

Kim pulled back, serious again. “I know I have a lot of explaining to do.” She indicated the man lying unconscious on the bed. “That’s Alan. You’ve met Jacob before- Philip. And this is Damian. Before I tell you the rest, is Jeremy going to come looking for you?”

“He might. We saw the car.”

“Okay. Go get him. He may as well hear this, too. After what he’s seen so far, he’s hardly ignorant. Better to give him a balanced view of the situation so he doesn’t grow up as racist as I’ve heard his father is. Knock on the false wall when you come back, and we’ll let you in.” Kim put her arm around Judy’s shoulders and guided her back to the lab entrance.

“Are you okay?” Judy asked her softly before leaving.

Kim nodded. “I’m surviving. Try not to worry,” she urged, then closed the door behind Judy. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, trying to find the strength to go back into the bedroom.

Strong arms pulled her into an embrace and she clung to Philip, knotting his shirt in her fists. Of the four of them, only Alan was wearing a uniform, since he had been spying on the troops. “I can’t do this,” she whispered to him.

Philip held her more tightly. “Yes, you can. You saved Alan’s life. Answering a few questions should be easy after that. Remember, Damian likes you.”

“Maybe not anymore,” Kim said.

“I don’t believe that, and neither do you,” he chided her.

“Guess I can ditch the plastic now, huh?”

“You’ll be more comfortable,” he agreed. “Need help?”

She nodded and buried her face against his chest. Why was this so hard?

* * * *

She checked on Alan one more time before retreating to the bathroom, avoiding Damian’s stare the entire time. Philip stayed behind to say something to him, then joined her in the bathroom. She pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, wondering just how much of a mess her own skin was underneath.

Philip moved the shower curtain aside so he could reach her, and had her brace her hands on the tile wall. While she stood under the water, he removed her human pseudoskin and let it fall at her feet. Once that was done, he started to remove the reptilian skin. The seams came loose easily and the liquid coolant flowed out, running down her legs in green rivulets.

“God!” she exclaimed in response to the smell that rose up around her. Several months’ accumulation of sweat, dead skin cells, and a chemical cocktail had made an odor far more pungent than the dead skunks by the roads of her Pennsylvania youth. “Remind me not to do this again anytime soon.”

“And miss all this fun?” Philip asked her in a playful tone.

She shoved the pseudoskins to the far end of the tub with her foot and grabbed for the shampoo and her razor.

“If you need me, just call,” he told her and pulled the shower curtain back into place. 

Kim didn’t answer. She was too absorbed in the delicious sensations of the water beating on her own face.

Philip closed the door behind him and checked Alan. He seemed to be no worse, though he was still unconscious. Finally, he sat down in the chair next to Damian’s.

“How long have you known?” Damian asked him quietly.

“Since the beginning. I helped her get to the ship in the first place.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Philip searched Damian’s face for signs of anger, but found only a desire to understand. “Many reasons, one of whom was Darlene.” 

Damian nodded and exhaled loudly as realization dawned. “She’s bad enough with us.” He shook his head, imagining the confrontations Kim had avoided with her deception. He glanced at the closed door, then back at Philip. “Is she going to be okay? She won’t look at me.”

“She’s afraid you’ll hate her for lying to you.”

“I don’t hate her!” Damian said quickly. “I’m just...shocked.”

“Imagine how Darlene’s going to feel!” Philip said, smiling. 

“I wish I could be there to see her reaction. But she’s going to be even more miserable to live with from now on. Can’t we just lose her somewhere?” Damian said. He leaned his head back against the wall. “Do you think Alan is going to live?”

“I don’t know. At least he has a chance. Kim did more than we could have.”

“Yet she still thinks I’m going to hate her,” Damian mused aloud.

“She’s been too focused on Alan to think clearly about anything else. Just give her a few minutes to get herself together.”

They sat in silence after that, thinking their own thoughts while waiting for Kim to emerge from the bathroom. The water turned off and they could hear her moving around on the other side of the closed door.

“What the hell?!” they heard Kim exclaim.

Philip reached the door before Damian. He threw it open and found Kim standing in front of the mirror. Her damp hair had been combed and she had gotten dressed. She was staring at her neck. A patch of skin more than two inches wide and extending half-way around her neck had turned a dark green. It was completely painless, though it bore a vague resemblance to a bruise.

Philip moved up behind her and put his arms around her. He looked over her shoulder at their reflections and recognized a hint of scale patterns in the discolored skin.

Kim shook her head. “Craving raw meat is bad enough, and now I get to look like I lost a battle with a paint can! I suppose the next thing I know, I’ll be waking up from hibernation.” She gave him a weak smile. “Please tell me this is normal,” she said softly as she leaned against him.

“For our women, yes. The dark band will go all the way around your neck as the time of delivery nears,” Philip explained gently.

“It’s cheaper than jewelry, I guess,” Kim remarked as she touched the discolored area. “And more original than stretch marks. Remind me to thank Diana for this little bonus.”

“You’re getting a rather long list of things to thank her for,” Philip bantered back.

“Don’t I know it.”

“How did you get pregnant?” Damian asked, finally giving voice to some of his questions.

Kim turned and eyed him carefully. “How do you think?” She’d decided when she was in the shower that the best way to handle the situation was to treat him no differently than she had before.

“No, I meant...” He broke off when he realized she was teasing him like she often did.

Kim smiled at him, then grew serious. “Diana’s medical experiments had an unexpected effect on me when I was guarding a human girl in her lab. Believe me, it was quite a surprise to me, too. Is Alan awake yet?”

Damian shook his head. He was pleased that she was talking to him again. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, he didn’t know where to begin.

“I’m surprised Judy hasn’t come back yet,” she said. 

Philip squeezed her more tightly. “She’ll be here soon. She’s been worried about you.”

“I’ve been worried about me, too.”

As if on cue, they heard the faint sounds of knocking. Philip excused himself to go let Judy and Jeremy in, leaving Kim to face Damian alone.

She turned to him, chewing on her bottom lip pensively before she spoke. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t like lying. But I couldn’t risk Darlene’s reaction- I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“It’s okay.” Damian smiled at her. “No one likes dealing with Darlene.” He paused a moment, then offered his hand. As she reached to clasp it, he realized he was treating her like another Visitor and tried to switch to a human handshake.

Kim shook her head as she clasped his hand firmly and raised it back into the Sirian configuration. “You don’t have to treat me any differently than you did before. Everything else I’ve told you about me is true.”

Damian nodded acceptance of her correction, but realized that some things HAD changed. Her hand radiated warmth into his. Intrigued by her body heat, he reached out and touched her cheek, brushing away the wet hair that had been sticking to it. She nuzzled his palm in response and closed her eyes.

She found herself being drawn into his arms and she returned the embrace gratefully. “Thank you for being so understanding,” she murmured softly.

“There are so many things I want to ask you,” Damian admitted.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. You can work on the shuttle while I talk myself hoarse... on one condition.”

“What?” He released her and pulled back a bit so he could look at her.

“We lock Darlene outside,” Kim said as she smiled at him.

“Absolutely.”

“Aunt Kim?” Jeremy’s voice carried in from the other room.

“In here, kiddo,” Kim answered, leading Damian out of the bathroom into the bedroom, being careful to speak loudly enough for Jeremy to hear, yet not so loudly she disturbed Alan. 

He appeared in the doorway to the bedroom and stopped, stunned by her haggard appearance. Kim opened her arms to him and he moved into her embrace. “You’re taller, Jeremy.”

“You’re fatter,” he fired back, smirking up at her.

“You rotten kid!” Kim grinned and tickled him under one arm. “What happened to your manners, hmm?”

Jeremy laughed and pulled away from her tickling. 

“Kim, take this dog before he jumps,” Judy said, directing her attention away from Jeremy. 

Kim turned towards the door and saw her dog Muff squirming in Judy’s arms. “Muff!” His whole body wriggled in excitement as she reached for him, and his tongue threatened to moisten her face, unmindful of her constant scolding about licking. “I think he’s happy to see me. Aren’t you, Muff?” Kim held him under her chin, and pressed her cheek against his soft coat. She closed her eyes and reveled for a moment in the unconditional adoration she was receiving. “God, I’ve missed this little fur ball.”

“I thought as much,” Judy said quietly. She surreptitiously observed the two Visitors’ reactions to Kim’s dog and wondered what they thought of the scene. Were they even familiar with the idea of having animals as companions? Jacob had stayed in her home, so he was aware of the dogs. But he couldn’t have known Muff belonged to Kim. Did it change his view of Kim at all, she wondered, to see the obvious affection between Kim and an animal?

“So how long have you been pregnant, Aunt Kim?” Jeremy asked with the lack of tact characteristic of his age. 

“Forever!” Kim said and sighed, keeping her eyes closed. She was going to have to start answering everyone’s questions soon.

“It always seems that way,” Judy said reassuringly, trying to ease the tension Jeremy’s comment had brought out in Kim’s posture, despite her efforts to appear unfazed.

“Why don’t you bring in a couple of chairs from the lab, Jeremy? I want to stay in here so I can keep an eye on Alan,” Kim said as she released the teen from her embrace. While Jeremy went to do her bidding, she eased herself down onto the bed next to Alan and scooted up against him, leaning her back against the headboard. Her body heat would be helpful to him now, and her back ached from the day’s exertions. His injured leg was furthest from her, so she didn’t have to worry too much about hurting him with a careless movement. She adjusted some of the pillows so they supported her sore muscles, and waited for Muff to settle down next to her. He gave the supine form a curious sniff, then lay down in Kim’s lap.

Kim touched Alan’s cheek with the back of her hand and he instinctively turned his face into the warmth. In sleep, his tendency to seek out warmth was no longer hidden behind manners and protocols. Watching him, she wondered what clues she inadvertently gave about her own physiology when she was asleep. “I don’t envy him. He’s going to have quite a shock when he wakes up.” She shook her head but didn’t look up. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

Kim didn’t want to tell Judy and Jeremy any of the details, but knew they desperately needed to know more than they currently did. She decided to focus on the fact she had infiltrated to find Andy and omit the details of how she had accomplished the deception. She would spare them the details about the culture she had immersed herself in. Maybe, if she focused on her own motives, skimmed over how Philip had found her while still crediting him for helping her, and left Martin unnamed, she’d be able to get through this. She could tell Damian the rest of her story later.

“How about the day Andrew was taken?” Judy suggested softly as she accepted a stool from Jeremy. Philip and Damian had already settled back into their chairs. Silence settled over the room.

Kim nodded, took a deep breath, and began.

* * * *

Jackie didn’t notice that anything was amiss when she returned from grocery shopping until she went to set the bag she carried on the table. There, she noticed a dark stain in the wood, near the front edge. Someone had shoved the food items to the back, and some of the containers had ended up on the floor. She bent down to pick up a can that had rolled close to the front table leg and noticed there was another dark spot on the concrete. She touched her fingers to the area, wondering what it was. Come to think of it, no one had been guarding the entrance she had used on her return, though Blaine was standing guard at the entrance at the rear of the building. Where was everyone else?

Concerned, she went to the radio room next door. She’d caught a glimpse of Ted sitting in there on her way past. “Ted? Has something hap-” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw his face. Never before had the pseudoskins the Visitors wore looked so much like a mask. She felt her own face grow pale and she sank limply into the chair by the door.

Ted didn’t even look up. His gaze was focused intently on one of the knots in the surface of the wooden table. His finger traced around the edge in a continuous circle. When he finally answered her, his voice was as lifeless as his mask. “Alan was shot; Darlene was knocked unconscious. She’s in the shuttle.”

“What about Alan? Is he...”

“I don’t know. Karen, Jacob, and Damian left with him a few minutes ago.”

“To go where?” Jackie demanded as Megan and Drew’s forms darkened the doorway.

Ted’s finger kept tracing the knot. “Karen said to get the bullet out of his leg, she needed supplies from her lab. They were going to her house.”

 “Her house?” Jackie asked, her voice growing faint. That could only mean that....

“She’s human,” Megan finished quietly.

Ted and Jackie turned accusing eyes towards her. “You knew?” Ted asked.

Megan nodded. “Her real name is Kim.”

“Oh, my God,” Jackie said under her breath. She stared blankly at the wall in front of her. “She really did it... but she wouldn’t tell me.”

Anger boiled up within her and her eyes shot daggers towards Megan. “And she got you to lie for her, too. I trusted you!” 

“You didn’t need to know,” Megan said, remaining calm in the face of Jackie’s wrath.

“The hell I didn’t!” Jackie raged, jerking to her feet. She paced in the cramped confines of the office. “How could you keep this from me? How could you lie to me like that? I’ve been worried sick about Kim, and she’s been right under my nose all this time!” She wheeled suddenly and pinned Megan with a hard stare. “Give me one good reason for you to keep that from me!”

“She’s protecting someone,” Megan answered.

Megan’s answers had grown progressively softer as her own voice grew louder and Jackie found that doubly annoying.” I don’t need her protection!” Jackie hissed from between clenched teeth.

“It’s not you that she’s protecting,” Megan said, refusing to be provoked.

“Martin,” Ted guessed in a harsh whisper. 

Jackie had to strain to hear him. Damn! How could you have a good fit of temper if no one ever yelled? Drew looked surprised by all of this, and yet he hadn’t said a word. 

Megan nodded. “The leadership must be protected from individuals like Darlene. Her attitude is like a poison. If this information were to spread, and become corrupted in the process...”

“It could undermine his authority with the less dedicated columnists,” Ted finished for her. “Too many of them don’t know the truth behind the mission yet. Rumors could twist the truth around until it’s unrecognizable.”

Jackie wasn’t sure she even followed their talk of fifth column authority, but she didn’t care. Kim had lied, and Megan had lied for her. Doggedly, she clung to the one fact that meant the most to her. “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me!”

“Given your present condition, we decided it wasn’t worth the risk.” Megan told her, reminding her of her constant battle against the conversion process. 

“And just who comprised the illustrious ‘we?’” Jackie shouted. If no one else would yell, by God, she’d yell enough for all of them.

“Jacob and myself. Kim abided by our decision.”

“Why Jacob?” Ted asked.

“Jacob is the one who told me about Kim, and about the decision to rescue Jackie from the mothership. Of all of us, he is the only one who knew about Kim and Jackie both, from the beginning.”

“That’s just great,” Jackie fumed, resuming her pacing. 

“How did Jacob know?” Ted asked.

“Apparently, he helped her infiltrate in the first place.”

Jackie whirled on Megan. “I damn well don’t believe this!” She shoved past Megan, unwilling to be confined to the office any longer. 

“Don’t let her leave the building,” Megan instructed Drew quietly before going in to sit down in the chair Jackie had vacated. She leaned back, reveling in the warmth that lingered there.

Jackie paced along the long wall furthest from the shuttle. She was so hurt, felt so betrayed, she couldn’t think clearly. Not only had Kim been living with her and pretending to be a Visitor, but Jacob had been involved in the deception from the beginning. Her pacing slowed as the thought penetrated. Philip. “The lying bastard!” she yelled as loudly as she could before kicking the wall with her foot and resuming her frantic march through the building.

Megan looked out at Jackie, then back at Ted. “You can see for yourself why we didn’t tell Jackie before. It’s unfortunate I had to tell her this way.” She settled back into her chair. “Are you all right?”

Ted looked blankly at her. “What am I supposed to say? I can’t believe we didn’t suspect, after all this time...” He shook his head. “Why wouldn’t she tell us? Jackie’s right. Protecting Martin isn’t a good enough reason for keeping it a secret from the rest of us. I agree you couldn’t tell Jackie, but the rest of us have not been converted. Even Darlene is dedicated to the fifth column effort, no matter how bad her attitude towards humans seems sometime.”

“Since Kim came, has she done anything that wasn’t helpful in some way? I’ve seen her give you money. Damian told me she suggested looking in the other buildings for the furniture. She’s given all of us hints on how to deal with the other humans, citing her experience with them on the mothership. The real question is: do you still trust her, knowing she’s human?”

Ted sighed. “She sacrificed herself to give Alan a chance- you should have seen her, it was amazing to watch. Yes, I trust her. Surely she would know us well enough by now to realize that. We’re all here because we wanted to protect the humans! I don’t understand why you are so fixated on our tolerance.”

“I’m not.” Megan took a deep breath and tried again to explain. “Ted, try to understand. Jackie knew that Kim was going to try to infiltrate; the slightest slip from anyone would have been enough for her to figure it out. And then there’s Darlene. Have you considered what Kim would have faced if the rest of you knew who she was?”

Megan looked down at her hands in her lab, “I don’t know if I should show it to you or not, but under the circumstances, the more you know, the better, I think.”

“Show me what?”

“A letter. Karen wrote it to Jacob and left it in her lab for him. He showed it to me when he wanted my opinion on whether or not we should go against her decision and tell the rest of you. It would be best if she were here to talk to you herself. Since she isn’t, maybe the letter would help you understand her motives a little better,” Megan informed him. She stood up. “It should still be in the shuttle. Leave the radio for now. And pull Blaine off of guard duty for a few minutes. You should all hear this, and come to terms with it, before the others get back.”

* * * *

A few minutes later, Megan joined the small group and took a seat among the collection of chairs and couches that had been assembled near the privacy screens and beds. In her hands she held the envelope Jacob had retrieved from Kim’s house. Jackie, unwilling to sit, paced behind one of the couches. Thankfully, Darlene was sleeping. Having regained consciousness with a pounding headache, she had decided to stay in the shuttle and rest. The others looked in on her periodically and made sure she could be roused, but otherwise left her alone. 

Megan opened the envelope and removed the folded sheet of paper. She smoothed it carefully while trying to decide how much background information she needed to provide. “Before I read this, you should know about her brother Andrew, and how Karen and Jacob first met.”

She filled them in with the facts as she knew them, then read them the letter, which she had to translate into English, while observing their reactions. Several times, Jackie stopped and stood in place, wiping tears from her eyes. Ted sat with his arms folded across his chest and tended to nod in agreement to different statements Kim had made. Blaine perked up in surprise several times, and even interrupted with an occasional question. Drew seemed to be reacting with grudging respect. Of all of them, he was the one who most felt like an outcast and thus he seemed to identify with Kim’s fears of banishment. Overall, their responses pleased Megan and reassured her that Kim would be welcomed back in spite of residual tensions related to her deception.

“She told the truth then,” Ted said when Megan was done. “About everything. Her duty on the ship, the pregnancy... everything she told us was true, or as close to true as she could make it without revealing everything.”

“Yes. And it hasn’t been easy for her. She’s grieving for her brother, facing a very difficult pregnancy, trying to protect Martin, and helping us every way she can.”

“I wonder how much Martin knows,” Drew finally spoke.

“As much as circumstances allowed her to tell him, I expect. You know how difficult it can be to convey information on board,” Megan answered. She looked to Ted and Blaine. “And perhaps now you understand why she turned you down. It would have taken advantage of your ignorance of the truth, which she made every effort to avoid doing.”

Ted’s eyes widened as he realized what Megan was trying to tell him without Jackie’s understanding. “But Jacob knew,” he said, nodding to himself. It did explain why Karen had responded solely to Jacob’s advances for liaisons, and gently turned the others away. Megan had known Kim’s physiology and Darlene’s attitude, and made herself available to all of the men as a way of compensating.

Jackie watched the exchange intently, realized what was being implied, and decided she didn’t want to understand after all. Being friends with the Visitors was one thing, sleeping with them was a different matter entirely. And judging from the expressions on the others’ faces, they felt the same way.

Megan brought the conversation back to its real purpose. “Karen needs us. Darlene will be difficult, but I don’t think her attitude should be the deciding factor here. Karen’s proven her loyalty and I don’t think we should turn her out. No one should be alone when having a baby, even in normal circumstances.”

“I agree, but we aren’t qualified to help her if things go wrong,” Ted said. And as the leader of their group, his opinion was policy. 

“She knows that,” Megan reminded him. “Besides, we may yet get a fifth column doctor on the surface. If not, Jackie and I both have personal experience we can draw on.”

Jackie nodded absently and made a mental note to ask Megan about that later. What had happened to Megan’s child?

“Jackie,” Megan said, waiting for the human to give her full attention to her before continuing. “She needs you to be the friend you always have been. Can you look past the lies and do that for her?”

Jackie looked away, her mind going back to her own first pregnancy. Jeremy’s father had left her before she had found out she was pregnant and Kim had been there through it all, never once flagging in her support. Whatever Kim may have thought about Jeremy’s father, she had kept her silence, choosing instead to validate Jackie’s right to feel pain over the failed relationship. She’d even been Jackie’s Lamaze coach in the delivery room. Jackie considered how, later, Kim had stood by her when she got married, and celebrated when Justin was born. And during the dark years Kim had faced in her own life, she had turned to Jackie for the same level of support she had once provided. After all they had been through together, could Jackie turn away now?

Damnit, though, she’d lied about who she was, where she was... and when on the ship had been the one to escort her to the torture chamber. Kim had admitted to it herself. Could she ever forgive Kim for that? Could she also remember that Kim had most likely been the one to plead to the column for her release? It was so obvious, in retrospect, why Philip had broken her out and not told Jackie they had met once before. Jackie would have figured it out even then, which would have led the Visitors straight to Martin if any of them had been caught. Truly, Kim and Philip had lied to protect their allies, not to betray Jackie’s trust.

And yet, Kim was pregnant with a Visitor’s child. A hybrid baby with a reptile for a father. Who knew what the child would look like, what odd combination of traits would be melded into a face? Could she bring herself to love such a child? Jackie wasn’t sure. Obviously, Kim was concerned about Jackie’s capacity for tolerance as well. She’d said so in the letter she had written to Philip.

She could feel the collective gaze of the Visitors as they waited to hear her answer.

When it came right down to it, Kim was her friend. What choice did she have? Jackie flung herself into one of the vacant overstuffed chairs and looked skyward. “I knew I should have done that Ph.D. program in herpetology. Julie and I could have set up a medical practice together.”

Growing serious, she looked at Megan. “First thing in the morning, we’re going to the library. And the bookstore. And wherever else I can think of. If we’re going to be a modern version of Florence Nightingale and Clara Barton, we have some studying to do.”

* * * *

Philip didn’t comment when he noticed Kim skimming over some aspects of her story. Instead, he stayed silent, watching Kim try to explain her motives and reasoning, and observing the responses of her audience. Of everything she talked about, her pregnancy seemed to be the most difficult subject for her to discuss with Judy. Philip assumed the problem was culturally based, since she displayed no such hesitation with Damian or himself. When Kim was finished, the questions began.

“Kim, I still don’t see how the child could be a hybrid. It’s not possible, especially without your cooperation,” Judy said.

“Judy, please trust me on this, as improbable as it seems, it is the truth.” Kim looked at Philip and gave him a wan smile.

“Is that why your voice sounds funny?” Jeremy piped up.

Kim shook her head as she unconsciously touched the scars on her throat. “No. I altered my voice with a bit of experimental self-surgery.”

“So when are you going to switch it back?” Jeremy persisted.

“I don’t even know if I can. It doesn’t matter, either way is all right,” Kim answered honestly. She leaned her head back and tried to stifle a yawn. “If you want to write your mother a letter, Jeremy, we’ll take it to her when we go back.”

“We should go and let you sleep. You look exhausted,” Judy said as she got up. She indicated the dog, who was sleeping under Kim’s hand. “Do you want me to leave him here?”

“Yes, but you should take him anyway,” Kim responded and picked up her furry companion. After a quick hug, she handed him over to Judy. “Thanks for bringing him.”

“We’ll come back tomorrow evening. Is there anything you want me to bring? Anything you need?” the older woman asked.

“No, we’ll be fine,” Kim replied, then changed her mind. “Actually, do you still have your stethoscope?”

Judy thought for a moment, trying to recall if she had given it away. “I think so. If I still have it, I know where it would be.”

“Thanks. See you later. G’night, Jeremy.”

He gave her a silent wave in reply and followed Judy out. Kim yawned and blinked several times, trying to stay alert. She didn’t see Philip trail after them so he could secure the door. She placed her fingers on Alan’s neck as she had every few minutes all evening and checked his pulse. Thankfully, it remained steady.

“I’m sure you noticed that I skimmed over a lot of details with Judy, but I’m too tired right now to remember what they were. Maybe tomorrow I can tell you the rest,” Kim said, looking at Damian with bleary eyes. Talking had drained the last of her energy, and fatigue was quickly settling over her. She doubted she would be able to stay awake for more than a few minutes.

As if on cue, Philip returned with a blanket. He put one arm under Kim’s knees and the other around her shoulders, and gently slid her away from the headboard so she could lie down. Realizing she was too tired to protest, he shook out the blanket and covered her and Alan with it before turning out the light. “Just sleep. We’ll wake you if Alan needs anything,” he murmured softly.

Kim mumbled something in reply about pain medication, then rolled onto her side. A protective arm slid over Alan’s chest and she snuggled down under the blanket so her head was against his shoulder. Within moments, she was sleeping soundly.

Philip motioned for Damian to follow him and they picked up the stools and took them into the lab. Philip dimmed the lights out there, retrieved some items from a drawer, then sat down. He indicated the cot. “We can take turns sleeping there, but I’m not tired yet.”

“Me, either,” Damian admitted as he settled onto the other stool.

“You have probably guessed she skipped over many of the details. There’s a lot Judy doesn’t know, and Kim has been tying to introduce things to her slowly.”

Damian nodded. “Karen said she was too tired right now, but she’d tell me the rest tomorrow.”

“I can tell you now,” Philip said with a smile. “Her real name is Kim, though I don’t think she cares what you call her.” He held up the items he had retrieved and Damian recognized the bottle of saline. “I assume you didn’t have time to pack your own case.”

Damian shook his head, bemused.

“Kim’s brother wore corrective lenses, so she has lots of supplies down here.” 

“How long were you here with her?” Damian asked as he eased the lenses from his dry eyes. In so many ways, the contacts were worse to wear than the pseudoskin.

“I’m not sure how long it was exactly. We were too busy to keep track. A few months, maybe.” Philip removed his own contacts and blinked several times in relief. It was unfortunate that Judy would be returning so soon. Otherwise, he’d consider removing the entire pseudoskin, even though reapplying it was a significant chore. He settled for taking out the dental appliances that hid his own teeth beneath human-looking ones.

“Did you wear the contacts during the day when you were here?” Damian was curious.

Philip shook his head vehemently. “I didn’t even wear the pseudoskin after awhile. She really doesn’t care.” His eyes grew distant as he thought back. “And she’s so warm....”

Damian sighed in appreciation and let his own mind wander. “Is it really different?” 

Philip’s eyes focused on him and he nodded. “In some ways. Not just the warmth, either. Their bodies are softer, too.” He saw Damian cue him to continue before removing his own dentures. It was nice to finally have someone to talk to about everything. With Megan, there were some things he hadn’t mentioned, just because they were things only another male would understand. He leaned an elbow on the edge of the bench and settled in for a long conversation.

* * * *

Alan woke to the sensations of warmth and pain. He felt disoriented as he looked around the dimly lit, unfamiliar room. Panic set in when he remembered being attacked. He tried to sit up, but was hampered by an arm across his chest.

“Alan, relax,” Damian said softly. He moved to Alan’s side from the chair in the corner where he had been keeping a vigil. “Just lie still. You’re safe here.”

“Where are we?”

“Let’s start with the easy questions, okay? Are you in any pain?”

Alan nodded. The throbbing in his leg had awakened him.

“Okay. Karen can take care of it. Kim, I mean.” Damian pointed to the human woman lying next to Alan with her warm arm flung across his body. “That is Karen, except she’s really a human named Kim. You should be nice to her, because she saved your life. We’re in her house in L.A. Jacob’s here, too. He’s sleeping in the other room.”

Damian reached across Alan and shook Kim’s shoulder gently. “Kim. Wake up.”

Kim stirred, moving closer to Alan without waking.

Damian persisted. “Kim,” he said, a bit more firmly.

She opened her eyes, frowning at first, then blinked a few times and withdrew her arm from across Alan’s chest. Propping herself up on one elbow, she rubbed at her eyes and tried to shake the groggy feeling she had. 

Kim brushed the hair from her face and stifled a yawn. “So you finally woke up. Good.” She looked at the clock and sat up the rest of the way. “And you’re long overdue for pain medicine. I’ll be right back, so just lie still.” She crawled out of bed with a yawn, being as careful as she could to avoid jarring the bed and causing Alan more discomfort. 

“Darlene. We have to get to Darlene.” Alan started to get up again, but Damian pushed him back down by his shoulders. 

“Darlene is fine. We already found her. Now lie still.”

“How long have we been here?” Alan asked. 

“Several hours. It’s almost three in the morning.” Damian shook his head. “I can’t believe how warm you are. Must be nice, sleeping next to her like that.”

Alan wasn’t sure how to respond, so said nothing.

Damian moved his chair over to the bedside so he could sit down to talk. When he was settled, he looked carefully at Alan. “I know it’s a surprise. But she had good reasons for what she did. And she risked herself to treat your injuries. Want to tell me what happened?”

Kim came back into the room and turned on a small light that was on the table next to the bed. “This will help cut the pain and will probably make you drowsy,” she explained before injecting it into the I.V. line that still ran into his arm.

Alan looked at the clear tubing, noticing it for the first time. It was different than the treatment he would have received on the ship, but the concept of replacing lost fluids was not new to him and he recognized the I.V. for what it was. “Thank you,” he said softly when she was done.

“You’re welcome.” Kim turned to Damian. “I’m going to go retrieve a few things from upstairs. It won’t take long.” Seeing the obvious interest in his expression, she put a restraining hand on his shoulder. “I’ll give you the grand tour later,” she promised him before slipping quietly from the room.

Damian nodded and turned back to Alan. “You were going to tell me what happened,” he prompted.”

Alan thought for a moment, trying to remember. “I’m not sure. Darlene and I had posed as checkpoint guards on the other side of the city, then had come back to our sector by shuttle. Not long after we left the shuttle, three humans attacked us from behind. They had knives. Darlene was slammed against the side of a building and hit her head. I finally got a chance to get to my firearm and shot one of them. The one who had shoved Darlene pulled a gun out of his jacket and shot me before I was able to kill him. The third one tried to get Darlene’s firearm off of her, and I had to shoot him, too. I remember I carried Darlene away from the area, but I was getting really weak. I put her down in an alley and decided I should try to get back on my own and send someone else to go get her.” His brow furrowed as he strained to recall. “I don’t remember anything else after that.”

Damian picked up the narration. “You made it to the outside of our building. Blaine went to see if you were followed and found Darlene. Kim examined your leg and said she had to get the bullet out before she could use the tissue regenerator, and she said she had to bring you here to do it. She probably saved your life. You were bleeding too much for simple bandages to do any good.”

Alan still didn’t state an opinion about the situation and Damian grew concerned. Leaning forward, he peered at Alan intently. “Look. I know you’ve had some reservations about the humans, in spite of being in the fifth column. But you have to get past that. Whatever you may think about them in general, Kim saved your life. She’s been through a lot, and is virtually alone. And she told the truth when she said she was pregnant with a hybrid child. She’s very intelligent, very determined, and deserves your respect. Your friendship wouldn’t hurt, either.”

“What am I supposed to say to her?”

“The same things you always have. Ask her about life here if you want. She knows it’s an awkward situation. Just try, okay?”

Alan nodded and closed his eyes as the medicine started to take effect.

* * * *

When Kim returned, Alan was sleeping once more. She entered quietly and leaned crutches against the table next to the bed. “These are from when Andy broke his ankle a couple of years ago. Alan will need them for awhile. His leg is going to hurt too much to bear any weight.” She laid a pair of sweat pants and one of her T-shirts over the handles of the crutches. “Those should fit him all right. I imagine he’ll want to change out of that blood-soaked uniform when he starts to feel a little better.”

“You’ve thought of everything,” Damian observed.

Kim shook her head and gave him a very somber look. “Don’t kid yourself. I’m not a doctor; I don’t even come close. I’m operating on instinct, common sense, and luck. I learned as much as I could when I was on the ship, but it’s nothing compared to what I still need to know.”

* * * *

Kim went back to bed in hopes she would get a little bit more sleep, but lay there instead thinking about her day. What was the reaction like back at the soundstage?

Ted had always been quiet but friendly. She knew the burden of command weighed heavily on him, but he always tried to project confidence, even when asking for their opinions. Ever patient, he made a conscious effort to make Darlene more comfortable. She really wasn’t worried about his reaction.

Darlene’s response was certain to be negative, but that would hardly be a surprise. Blaine was harder to read, mostly because he and Alan kept to themselves when “off duty.”

She looked at Alan, who lay sleeping beside her. Even off the ship, he and Blaine had seemed conscious of rank and the unwritten rule against fraternization between their own level of service and the other fifth columnists. Still, Alan had been friendly and patient when he had showed her how to operate the radio equipment. Kim had the impression she would like him a lot if he’d just let her get to know him. The question now was if he would give her that chance.

Jackie’s reaction, in many ways, was the most difficult to predict. Between what Jackie had endured on the mothership and the fact that Kim had lied to her since, it was difficult to say just what sort of reception she would receive when she returned to the soundstage.

At least Damian was sticking by her. Sweetheart that he was, he had insisted she lie in the bed, leaving him to pass the rest of the night in the chair. And though he had agreed to take turns with Philip on the cot, he had made no move to follow through. What she had done to deserve his friendship, she had no idea. Sleep finally overcame her while she was mulling over this last thought.

* * * *

Kim woke up and realized she was alone in the bed. Bleary-eyed, she got up and ventured out into the lab. “Ready for more painkiller?” she asked Alan. He was stretched out on the cot, dressed in the extra clothes she had brought from upstairs, and talking with Philip and Damian, who had perched on stools nearby. From the looks of it, the three of them had been there for awhile. Most likely, she had been the topic of conversation.

He nodded, unsure what else there was to say. 

Kim pretended not to notice and busied herself getting the syringe ready. She pointed to the I.V. line. “If you want, we could get rid of this now. It’s served its purpose, as long as you can keep liquids down.”

“What about the pain medicine?” Damian asked, sparing Alan the need to inquire.

“That can be injected directly. I’ve just used the I.V. to avoid stabbing you with yet another needle,” she said, directing her answer to Alan.

“Take it off,” he answered and watched as she removed the tubing, used the needle already in his arm to deliver the pain medication, then slid the I.V. needle out. She pressed her thumb on the spot where it had broken the skin and checked his pulse while she waited. He watched her carefully for any signs of aversion or hesitation and saw none. How could that be? None of them were wearing their contacts, yet she seemed unaffected by the sight of their real eyes. She neither avoided eye contact nor held it longer than usual. Damian’s and Philip’s dentures lay on the counter in plain view, but she acted as if nothing had changed.

When she was satisfied that he was not going to bleed, she removed her hand and gathered up the syringe and discarded I.V. solution. Her stomach rumbled warningly and she went into the small alcove that served as a kitchen. Opening the fridge, she saw several rats one of them had moved from the freezer to thaw. At least finding things for them to eat wasn’t going to be a problem, though nothing appealed to her. It didn’t help when she was nauseated most of the time, and craved meat the rest. She checked the freezer and surveyed the cupboards with the same result. “There’s absolutely nothing here to eat.”

She must have spoken more loudly than she realized, because Philip immediately responded, “There are plenty of rats in the fridge.”

Kim stepped back into the lab with a mock glare. “Thanks a lot! You’re a big help. Unless of course, you intend for me to choke on the bones.” She studied him for a moment and waved a warning finger at him. “Don’t think I don’t realize what you’re trying to do!” 

He smiled at her and she retreated once again into the kitchen, finally settling on a can of beef vegetable soup. With luck, she’d be able to keep it down long enough to digest it.

While the soup heated in the microwave, she pressed her hands against her lower back. The constant ache there had become as much a part of her as the nausea and fatigue. Kim sighed and wondered how much longer she’d be pregnant. A part of her dreaded the birth, since she didn’t know if she’d survive, while another part just wanted to reach the end of the ordeal, regardless of the outcome.

“Don’t tell me you want some,” she said to Philip when she felt him press his hands against her back and massage the sore muscles.

“Hardly,” he said, then lowered his voice. “You okay?”

Kim nodded. “Tired, achy, nauseated...the usual.”

The microwave beeped and she removed her meal and carried it into the lab. Philip sat down behind her, continuing to rub her back while she ate. He and Damian kept the conversation going, though Kim hardly paid attention to it. Her energy was focused on eating in spite of the nausea. She ate half of what was in the bowl, then pushed it away. 

“That’s all?” Philip asked softly. He remembered her previously voracious appetite and the way she always seemed to be eating when they were in the lab before. Now that the pseudoskin was gone, he could tell her own health had suffered greatly in the last several months. He tried not to pester her about it, but her lack of appetite concerned him.

“You try eating when you feel nauseated all the time,” Kim groused. She closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands.

“Considering what you’re eating, it’s no wonder,” Damian commented, eyeing the uneaten soup. 

“I know. Cooked vegetables... I may as well eat poison, right? Believe me, I’ve had worse.” Unwillingly, her thoughts turned to Andrew. She felt Philip squeeze her shoulder reassuringly before resuming the massage on her back.

“What did you eat on the ship?” Damian asked. She’d mentioned a few minutes ago that the bones in the rats would choke her, and it had got him wondering about how she had managed on the ship.

Kim straightened and opened her eyes so she could look at him. “Raw meat. I just avoided whole animals. The larger ones, anyway. Insects and worms were manageable, though disgusting. Lots of beef and chicken. Now and then, Martin smuggled me some fruit. Being pregnant actually was a help, since it made me crave raw meat. I get ill just smelling it cooking- even the little bit that is in the soup has been making my stomach roll. There have been a couple of times with Jackie’s grill that I... Ouch!” Kim bowed her head, wincing in pain. Her right hand went to her ribs. “Cut it out, kiddo.”

“What’s wrong?” Damian asked, immediately alarmed.

“I just got kicked in the ribs- hard. It’s nothing to worry about. It just hurt.”

“You can feel the baby kicking?” Alan couldn’t help but ask. He had propped himself up on his elbows when Kim yelped and had been reminded just how weak he was.

Kim nodded and smiled at him. She got up and went over to sit down next to him on the cot. Taking his hand in hers after he was once again lying down, she placed it on a part of her abdomen where she had felt a lot of movement lately. 

Within moments, Alan felt motion beneath his touch. He reacted in amazement. “How do you sleep?”

“Sometimes I don’t,” Kim said wryly.

“Let me feel.” Damian knelt down beside her and let Kim place his hand against her.

While the two Visitors waited to feel movement, she stole a glance at Philip. He was watching the scene with a tender expression and Kim knew he understood how much this meant to her. She was being accepted for who she was. Philip met her eyes and smiled back at her, nodding slightly. For some reason, a shiver crept down her spine and she had a momentary feeling of dread. She closed her eyes to help her hide her reaction. What had caused her to feel like that? She decided she was probably just anticipating meeting Darlene again and pushed the dread from her mind.

“As I recall, at some truly ungodly hour of the morning, I promised you a tour of my house. Still interested?” Kim said as she turned to look at Damian. He nodded, and she turned to Alan. “You’re welcome to come, if you feel up to it.”

“Right now I’m content to lie here,” Alan replied. 

Kim noticed that there was far less tension in his voice and mannerisms than there had been, even at the soundstage. It seemed that being wounded had convinced him it was all right to interact with the three of them as equals. What would it take to bring about the same change in Blaine, she wondered.

She turned to Philip and he looked at her kindly. “You can show me later.” He knew that Damian would want thorough explanations that were going to take time, and he didn’t want to leave Alan alone that long. 

“Okay, then, it’s just you and me,” Kim said, hauling herself up. “Shut me up if I bore you,” she warned Damian as she led the way to the basement.

* * * *

Slowly, they made their way through each of the rooms in Kim’s home. Damian was genuinely interested in what he saw, and asked lots of questions. The tour ended up being as much a cultural exchange as a survey of the building. He wanted to know about how the different spaces were used, and if different areas were considered off limits to guests. The kitchen, with its array of appliances, was especially intriguing to him and he asked her about the details of food preparation. Kim’s experience in his own culture allowed her to explain the basic similarities and differences between their ways of life, which he then added to as he grew to understand her culture more. 

The last room on the ground floor tour was the living room. Anticipating his request for her to play, Kim seated herself at the piano and indicated he should sit down on the bench next to her. “Not everyone has one of these, but I enjoy playing,” she said and rested her hands on the keyboard cover. “The full name is pianoforte --’piano’ meaning soft, ‘forte’ meaning loud --but everyone just calls it a piano.” 

Kim opened the cover and ran her fingers up the keys, letting him hear the range of notes from lowest to highest. “The black keys have tones halfway between the keys on either side. And down below are three pedals that can affect the sound, too.” 

Kim glanced at him and could see him trying to visualize the inner workings of the instrument, almost willing himself to see through the wood cabinet. “Here, if you want to see how it works...” Kim stood up and removed a flower arrangement from the lid before raising it. A wealth of dust fell away from the dried flowers and she sneezed. “When I get back, this place is going to need a thorough cleaning,” she said, coughing.

Damian stood up and peered inside, mesmerized, though he did smile at her comment about the dust.

Kim continued her explanation. “Each key causes a hammer to hit a string. The volume can be controlled by how hard the keys are struck, hence the name pianoforte. Its predecessor, the harpsichord, plucked the strings and didn’t have that capability. The pedals allow the sound to be sustained or act as dampers.” She pressed the pedals and let him see the resulting movement of machinery.

When he was satisfied, he closed the lid and sat back down. “Is there a particular style of music associated with the instrument?”

Kim shook her head. “It’s used alone or with other instruments for just about any style of music there is. Ragtime, jazz, modern pop rock, you name it, you can usually find a piano in there somewhere. I’m partial to classical music myself, but I’ve learned the music to most of Jackie’s songs, too. Usually, when she’s working on a new album, we get together and run through everything; for some reason, she wants my opinion instead of that of the record company.”

“Jackie’s a performer?” Damian was surprised. He’d never really thought about how she gained her income.

Kim nodded. “I guess no one made a point to tell you. She’s primarily a singer, although she does know how to play the piano. Mostly, though, the piano is for her own enjoyment, while her voice makes the millions. She’s so rich I can’t even comprehend how much money she has. But it hasn’t spoiled her like it would some. She gives a lot to charity and other causes. She’d have paid off this house for me if I’d let her. We end up in that discussion about twice a year.” Kim stared off into space for a few moments. “Actually, she’s behind schedule, I think. I should have known it would take a war to get her mind off my finances!” 

Smiling, she turned her attention to the keyboard in front of her. “Be warned, I’m a bit out of practice,” Kim said before starting to play. She ran through a medley of styles and pieces, to give him an idea of the versatility the piano possessed. 

When she finally finished and closed the keyboard cover, Damian shook his head in amazement. “How long did it take you to learn how to play this?”

“I started in high school, so let me think a minute. I had the advantage of already being able to read music- I play another instrument, too. It’s much smaller and is upstairs in a closet somewhere. Anyway, in ninth grade I started piano, dropped it awhile in college, went back to it in graduate school....guess I’ve been playing for about ten years, but that’s a rough estimate. And I don’t practice every day anymore. I only play when I’m in the mood. And I haven’t played at all since you guys showed up.”

Kim stood up, looked around the room, and concluded they were done here. “Let’s go upstairs,” she said, and looped her arm through his before heading towards the staircase.

She stopped in the doorway of the first room they came to and Damian sensed her withdrawing into herself.

“This was Andy’s room,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. Unbidden tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away. “As you can see, neatness was not his strong point.” Damian put his arm around her and she leaned into him. “This all needs to be sorted through. Some of it I’ll pack away; things like his clothes I’ll give to charity, I guess.”

“Why not just leave it like it is, for now?” Damian suggested.

“I could. Some parents leave their children’s rooms untouched for years after the child has died. Everyone grieves differently. I respect that, but it’s not for me.” Kim shook her head and went on, “For me, I think it’s harder to have it here, looking like he’s going to walk in any minute. No, it’s best that I clean it out and pack things away. He’s dead, and clinging to the past won’t change that. Besides, some of the columnists will likely stay on Earth when the fighting is over, and they’ll need a place to live. I’d rather see this room used for that then left as a ghost-filled shrine.”

* * * *

Damian followed Kim down the hallway, listening as she described how she used each room, from the nursery that was already stocked to the combination library/study that had a window looking out over the front yard. He made an effort to treat her the same way he always had, but he saw her in a new light. Though he still viewed her as a fifth columnist, the revelations of the previous day had exposed hidden strengths of character idle comments had only hinted at before. His admiration for her will to survive took on new depth when she showed him the pictures of her family that hung in the hallway, and told how most of them had died. Only her father survived, and Kim’s bitterness towards him was evident in her voice when she talked of how he had walked out on her family when she was a young teen. He looked into the eyes of the man who gazed back at him from the photograph and wondered how such an individual could father a daughter as amazing as Kim.

Something changed in the air between them while they looked at the photographs, and Kim turned to Damian with a questioning look. Was the electricity between them real, or only in her imagination? He looked back at her with deceptively calm eyes and said nothing. They stood like that for a long moment, before he brushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear, then stroked it again. “I don’t know what the rules are here,” he admitted softly.

“I think we have to write our own rules. None of the ones I learned while growing up seem to apply,” Kim answered in a voice that was equally quiet. Her mind was racing, and yet she struggled to form a single coherent thought. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours that she didn’t know what to think, or how to feel. Her attraction to him was as undeniable as his interest in her. But this would be a venture into new territory for her, and she wasn’t sure it was a place she really could go. It was one thing to continue her relationship with Philip, quite another to initiate a new one with Damian. Circumstances on the ship had necessitated her relationship with Martin. And though her heart might desire for that to continue, she didn’t expect that it would, even should Martin make it to the surface alive. 

Damian was a friend, and Kim didn’t want that to ever change. But she had no experience with one-night stands, as Damian no doubt did. Before the war, she would have been offended at the very suggestion of participating in such a liaison. But that was Before. Now, she was sorely tempted by the magnetic pull between them.

He stood there, stroking her hair, waiting for her to decide. He watched her intently, but without pressure to yield to his wishes.

She knew he would respect her decision, whatever it was, and not take offense. Nothing was at risk, except for how she viewed herself. She moved closer and kissed him tentatively, holding his face between her hands. His lips opened at her bidding, and she felt his tongue flick gently against hers.

Finally, when her knees were ready to buckle, she released him and put her head on his shoulder. “I need some time. I’m still dazed by everything that’s happened since yesterday. And eventually, when the war is over, I will have to try to put the pieces of my life back together somehow. I don’t want to look back with regrets.”

He stroked her hair, letting his hand trace the wavy tresses down to where they ended between her shoulder blades. “You don’t need to explain, Kim.”

“Yes, I do. Because who I am now just doesn’t seem to fit with who I used to be. And I don’t know if I can ever be her again, or if I even want to try. The problem is, I care about you too much.” Kim shook her head and chuckled slightly. “When my only choices were celibacy or monogamy, life was so much simpler.” She straightened up and he immediately dropped his hands to her waist, releasing her from their former level of intimacy without withdrawing completely.

“We should go back downstairs before they wonder what happened to us,” Damian said, returning them to her comfort level. Only his reddish-gold eyes betrayed the apparent ease with which he had made the comment.

Kim nodded, and they walked together towards the stairs that would take them down to the living room. She put one hand around his waist and the other on the hand he still had on her hip. “Why don’t we take a few photograph albums down with us? I can bore the three of you for hours with photographs, and you’ll be a captive audience.” She laid her head against him for a moment, then looked at him with a dazzling smile.

Damian smiled in return and forced himself to act casually, despite the addicting warmth emanating from her. As long as they could be friends, he would be content. Almost.

* * * *