Desperate Times.

Part One of V: The L.A. Chronicles.

by Jackie Newman

jacalynsue@zoominternet.net

Judy pulled into her driveway and glanced next door to where her neighbor Kim was standing. She was holding a bag of groceries, but her eyes were turned skyward. She looked pale, Judy mused. The poor kid had been hurt so much.

Judy got out of the car and looked up to see what held Kim’s rapt attention. “Oh my,” Judy breathed. The air around her was pulsing with energy. As they watched, the ship glided into position and stopped over the city of L.A.

“Kim! Come here! They’re all over the world! UFO’s are here!” Kim’s brother Andrew called from the front door.

Try as she might, Judy couldn’t muster the same excitement Andrew felt. She needed to do something normal, something to help tighten her grip on reality. Determined to stay calm, she got a bag of groceries out of Kim’s car and followed her neighbor into the house.

Andrew’s enthusiasm was not dampened by the lack of excitement in his sister. “Kim, can you believe it? A real flying saucer! What do you think they’re like? Do you think they’re like us?

The question broke through Kim’s shock. Her scientific nature pushed to the surface and the logic circuits kicked in. “No,” she said, finding her voice. “The probability of alien life forms resembling humans is so remote that for all practical purposes, it is impossible. I’m more worried about their intentions. We really have no way of defending ourselves.”

“I hope they are friendly,” Judy said nervously.

“Me, too...” Kim agreed, unable to keep the worry from her dark brown eyes.

“Don’t worry about it! What other reason could they have for being here?” Andy said.

Oh, to be fifteen again! Kim thought longingly. Could she even remember what it was like to be convinced that life was fair and know that good always triumphed in the end! She only hoped that her doubts were unfounded.

“What do you think they want?” Judy asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see. Why don’t you stay here tonight?” Kim sank down into a chair and stared at the TV. A feeling of foreboding swept over her as she watched ship after ship glide into view of the cameras.

“Okay,” Judy said. “I’ll go put the water on for tea. Andy, will you please get the rest of the bags from the car? If anything happens, we’ll tell you.”

“Judy, don’t worry about it. I’ll put it away later,” Kim called from the living room.

“I’m just getting the cold things. The cans can wait. I’m not going to let a bunch of aliens make the ice cream melt.”

* * * *

Ten o’clock found the world still ignorant of the aliens’ mission. Kim glanced at the clock and yawned. “I don’t think we’re going to learn anything tonight. We may as well get some sleep. Andrew, you’re going to school tomorrow and I’m going to work. We can’t stop living our lives just because a UFO is parked over the city.”

“Aww, Kim!” Andrew protested.

Judy tried to curtail the coming argument. “She’s right. If anything happens, I’m sure the principal will let everyone know. Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine.” At least I hope so, Judy added mentally. Kim’s reaction was rubbing off.

* * * *

After Judy and Andrew retired, Kim took the groceries downstairs. She set the bags along the basement wall and checked one last time to make sure she was alone. A light touch to a series of hidden buttons caused a section of the wall door to slide back and reveal a stairwell. Once she moved the bags in, the door slid shut, sealing out the world. Another code punched into the panel at the bottom of the stairs gave her entrance to her lab.

A sonnet by Edna St. Vincent Millay, Kim’s favorite poet, reverberated through her mind.

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

I miss him in the weeping of the rain;

I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

The old snows melt from every mountain-side,

And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;

But last year’s bitter loving must remain

Heaped upon my heart, and my old thoughts abide.

There are a hundred places where I fear

To go,- so with his memory they brim.

And so entering with relief some quiet place

Where never fell his foot or shone his face

I say, “There is no memory of him here!”

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kim admired her small chunk of utopia. It was the only good thing coming out of Marc’s death. He had left all of the fruits of his law practice to her, telling her that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted her to go on with her life.

Theirs had been a storybook romance. Both of them had successful careers, she in molecular biology, he in law. When he saw her house, they agreed it was where they wanted to grow old together. He put his own ocean-view condo up for sale and started to move his things into their home. After the wedding, he would move in and they would start to plan a family. Already the nursery was fully stocked and ready. All it needed was a baby to make it complete.

Kim’s heart was warmed at the memories. But the room she looked at was a result of Marc’s death. Sheer determination had pulled her through the past six months. She had a long life ahead of her, and she planned to live it. If she couldn’t have Marc, then at least she would have her dream of a secret lab. From early childhood, she had experienced recurring nightmares of global disaster of one flavor or another. The hideout provided her with security against the nightmares. She didn’t care how crazy it might look to an outsider, though she doubted anyone other than the builders knew the space was here. She was doing what she had to do to maintain her sanity. 

Looking around, she nodded in approval. She had everything she and Andy could ever need. Lab animals inhabited the cages along one wall and around the corner under the stairs. She had a separate bedroom and bath, and enough food to last two people almost a year. There was even a surveillance system so she could see what was going on in the house above her. 

Directly above the chamber was an in-ground swimming pool that she had built while the lab was being completed. Its construction had satisfied the neighbors’ curiosity and bonus pay had earned the willing silence of the work crews.

There was no logical reason for her to build the lab. Her friend Jackie had claimed to understand, but Kim knew that no one would ever see why she needed this room so desperately. Even she didn’t know why it meant so much to her. Maybe it was the fact that this was the one place on Earth where she was in control of her life. 

She put the food away, fed the animals, and left. Her room was intact and waiting for her. 

* * * *

The next evening, the trio gathered once again around the TV. They watched anxiously as a Visitor named John stepped into view. He could have passed for human, except for his voice which reverberated strangely.

Disappointed, Andrew looked away from the television and gave Kim a puzzled look. “What’s that you said about probability?”

At that moment, Kim’s feeling of unease mushroomed into gut-wrenching fear. A cold, clammy sweat beaded on her forehead and her dark brown bangs stuck to her skin from the moisture. She sat still as a statue as John made his plea for help. 

Judy noticed her reaction. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” came the monotone reply. Her voice was like ice.

They watched the rest of the broadcast in silence.

* * * *

Soon after the broadcast was over, the phone rang. It sounded out of place in the huge, silent house. Kim recovered her composure and went to answer it. If she knew her friend, it would be Jackie, her soul mate. They had met in college and quickly discovered their common interests. Though they were stark contrasts in personality, they often understood each other without even saying a word.

“Kim, did you see the news?”

“Jackie, thank God! Where are you?”

“At the cabin. What do you think of John’s offer?”

“He’s no military officer; he’s a politician. That speech was perfect and he knew just how to deliver it. I think we’re in trouble.”

“I was afraid you’d say that. I hate it when we agree.”

“I know; it means we’re right.” Kim sighed. “What should we do? What can we do?”

“We have to get together and I have the perfect place picked out. Can you meet me at...”

“Jackie!” Kim called into the phone. “Jackie!” Shaken, she hung up. Seeing Judy’s eyes on her, she shook her head. “Phone went dead.”

“Well, I guess it’s to be expected. The phone lines are buzzing right now. I’ll bet the computer just gave up and shut down. You can try to call her later after they get the systems adjusted to the load. Don’t look so worried.”

“I’m sure that’s all it is,” Kim agreed. But after they went to bed, Kim lay awake thinking. They had been cut off and she knew it. Kim was a firm believer in gut feelings. The only times she had gone ahead with what her gut told her was wrong, she had gotten into trouble. And now it was telling her that someone had been monitoring that call. Someone that had the capabilities of controlling communications. Someone with a voice that reverberated. Kim knew she would not be able to reach Jackie, no matter how often she called. 

Through the night, images of John’s smiling face haunted her sleep.

* * * *

As the days went by, life resumed its normal routine. For most of the world, nothing had changed. “So what if there are ships hovering over every major city?” was the attitude many civilians took. Throughout history, Kim knew, human survival was linked to man’s adaptability. But perhaps humans were adapting too soon to the new world they lived in. The novelty wore off too quickly to suit Kim.

While the world was shocked to hear of the scientific “conspiracy,” Kim wasn’t surprised at all. Something of that nature was bound to happen eventually. Kim was too cynical to believe anything the Visitors were telling her. She was also smart enough to know that she should keep her mouth shut. The last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to herself. That would wait until she knew what was going on.

Quietly, so as not to arouse suspicion, Kim began to gather information. Impartially and methodically, she listened to gossip, interacted with Visitors, and took notes. Kim was a scientist at heart and prided herself on her ability to block off her emotions and attack her work from an analytical point of view. Fear gave way to logic, only to give way to fear again as she realized what she was up against.

Weeks passed with no word from Jackie. At first Kim expected to wake up one morning and find her on the doorstep, but that fantasy had quickly crumbled. It was just too dangerous for both of them.

The Visitors’ strangle-hold tightened with each passing day. What make Kim sick was how quickly the humans accepted without question the lies that reporter Kristine Walsh told them. Even Judy told Kim she was too paranoid for her own good. Kim said nothing when people began to shun her. She never complained once when she was called to add her name to the list of scientists in the Visitor computer banks. Not even Judy’s offer of chocolate bribes could draw her out of her obsession with the Visitors. Privately, Kim appreciated the effort, but she knew that she dared not speak of what she was learning. For now, her only weapons were her eyes, her ears, and her ever growing files.

That changed one ordinary day when she went to collect Andrew from school. The kids in school followed their parents’ example and gave Andrew much grief because of his sister’s occupation. Kim had been forced to take him to and from school herself to help protect him from the growing hatred. Even so, he had come home bruised more than once- beaten by kids in the Visitor Friends program.

She slowed the car when she saw the squad vehicle parked in front of the school. While she watched, a group of kids were escorted out of the building and onto the shuttle. The Visitors were armed, and the teenagers all had their hands folded on top of their heads. Kim’s heart skipped a beat when she saw Andy’s face in the middle of the bunch. His right eye had a new bruise over it, and he was deathly pale. The look on his face was an expression of fear and entrapment. 

He stumbled, and a soldier shoved the butt of a rifle into his ribs. Kim bit back a sob when she saw, then threw the car into reverse. Alone and unarmed, she couldn’t help Andrew right now. She had the car turned around and out of sight before the last of the Visitors stepped into the shuttle.

* * * *

The tires screeched as Kim pulled into her driveway. She ran up the steps and into the house at top speed and took the stairs to her bedroom two at a time. Hastily, she ripped clothes out of her closet and crammed them into a suitcase, being careful to select outfits she hated. That done, she snatched a small strongbox from under her bed and was headed downstairs again in ten minutes.

Judy was pounding on the front door. Kim ushered her in. “They took Andrew. Now do you believe me? I’m not being paranoid.” Kim’s voice grew louder, until she was shouting. “They are up to something! Wake up, Judy. Look around you. This is a mission of peace?” Kim was almost hysterical as she said the last words.

“I’m sorry. You were right,” Judy whispered. “I just didn’t want to believe it.” She sighed and looked at the floor. Her eyes fell on the suitcase. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going away. They will come for me next and I have no intentions of being here waiting for them,” Kim said.

“Where will you go?”

“I can’t tell you that. It’s safer for both of us if you don’t know. Will you take care of the house for me?”

“You know I will,” Judy answered softly

“Good. Everything you need is in here. There is plenty of money in savings. We have joint savings and checking accounts, remember?”

“No.” Judy shook her head, trying to remember.

“We did that after Marc died so you could help Andy until he was eighteen if something happened to me.”

“Oh, yes. I’d forgotten about that. Don’t worry about this place. I can handle it. Will you be safe?”

“Believe it. I’ve done everything they wanted, without question. But this time they’ve gone too far. I’ll take on the whole fleet if I have to, but I will get Andrew back.”

“How?” Judy didn’t like the look in Kim’s eyes. Her features were hard and unfeeling...so unlike Kimberly.

“I’ll think of something. In the meantime, don’t worry.” Kim grasped Judy by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. “Don’t believe what you are going to hear about me. I’ll be back, even if it means coming back from the dead a few times. When the dust settles, I’ll come home. So don’t sell the house out from under me, okay?”

“I don’t like the sound of this. Why don’t I go with you?” Judy offered.

“No, where I am going, you couldn’t help me. I need you here. Please, Judy, I know what I’m doing,” Kim said in a tone that indicated arguing was a waste of time.

“Okay, just please, please be careful. You’re like a daughter to me,” Judy said and gave Kim a quick hug before Kim pulled away.

“Don’t look so worried. I’ll be back before you know it! Gotta run!” Kim answered as she pulled away from the embrace.

She dashed for her car and drove quickly away. She had taken too long at the house. It was too late to worry about that now, she reminded herself. Within a few minutes she reached the cliff she had selected and stopped the car a few feet from the edge. After taking one last look around to be certain that no one was watching, she lit a match and tossed it on the carpet. Then she took the car out of gear and pushed as hard as she could. It slowly rolled over the edge and tumbled and rolled to the bottom of the valley. A few seconds later, she could see flames and it soon exploded in a raging ball of fire. 

Kim crouched in the bushes by the road and nodded in approval. Her ploy wouldn’t fool the experts for very long. But she hoped that the investigation of the accident would buy her enough time to get into hiding. The best place for her to go was also the last place they would look for her. With a deep breath and a set jaw, Kim set out for home.

Kimberly was slow to anger, but once aroused she was cunning and dangerous. The aliens had made a mistake when they took Andrew, for by doing so, they had created a deadly enemy, who would not be stopped until she was either satisfied or dead. 

For the next four days she worked long hours, sorting and resorting the scraps of data she had collected. All of the information she had was carefully typed into the computer where she could organize all of it at the touch of a button. Frustration quickly set in as she tried to piece the alien’s mission together. No matter how she turned the situation over in her mind, she came up with more questions than theories. The few facts she had didn’t add up to anything coherent. She needed more information.

Watchful for Visitor troops, she left the surveillance system on at all times. Judy came daily with the paper and mail as she had promised. Many times, Kim was tempted to go up and tell Judy everything, but she held out. Once, she went upstairs after Judy left to see if anything had come in the mail from Jackie. Disappointed, she went back into hiding and waited. Something was going to happen. She could feel it in the air. 

Judy, watching for any signal that Kim was alive, immediately noticed that the mail had been moved. Car crash indeed! she thought. She wondered if the Visitors knew just what kind of enemy they had made in Kim.

The very next day after Kim had ventured upstairs, a frightened young man burst into the house on Judy’s heels. “Who are you? Where’s Kim?” he demanded with growing panic in his voice. 

Kim, watching the exchange from the lab, recognized the lad as her friend from work. He helped in the company lab during summers to help pay for his college education. Many evenings, he would come over to Kim’s house to discuss technical problems. Kim had grown quite fond of the boy and helped him however she could. She recognized his scientific potential and did everything in her power to nurture his abilities. She wondered what had him so frightened.

Judy stayed calm. “I’m Kim’s neighbor. Who are you?”

“Never mind. Where is she?” Lewis said, looking around him wildly for an unseen enemy.

“Gone...some say she’s dead,” Judy replied cryptically.

“No! She has to see this. She can’t be dead!”

“See what? Calm down, maybe I can help,” Judy said calmly.

“Just give this to her. Tell no one!” he called over his shoulder as he ran out the back door and disappeared into the darkness of evening.

Judy looked at the small, dirty envelope he had thrust at her. Kim’s name was written on it. What could have terrified the child so? she mused. Puzzled, she slid the envelope in with the other mail. When Kim came home again, she would find it.

As soon as Judy left, Kim retrieved the package. Inside was a hastily scrawled note and a small piece of...something. She opened the note and read, “Visitor skin sample. What do you think? Be careful! Lewis.”

 “Bless you, Lewis,” Kim told the note. This was the break she had been waiting for. She couldn’t wait to take a look at the cell structures and figure out just how alien these Visitors really were. With a silent prayer for Lewis’ safety, she started to work.

* * * *

 “...She works for a pharmaceutical company, has experience in microbiology, and is extensively trained in biochemistry. Subject is to be taken unharmed to the mothership for questioning. Proceed,” the soldier in command said, then opened the shuttle door. Four Visitors filed out obediently and approached the house.

The last soldier out of the shuttle sighed as he looked around the neighborhood. These raids were becoming too routine to him. It seemed that he was asked to bring conspirators in every day. Surely they couldn’t all be guilty. Flames appeared before him, for just an instant, distracting him from his thoughts. He shook his head to clear the image from his mind, then followed his colleagues up the walk to the house.

“Philip, search the lowest level,” his superior said to him when he stepped inside the door. He nodded. These humans used such strange sounding names. Compared to some others he had heard, though, Philip was one of the better selections. He removed his sunglasses and set out to find the entrance to the basement.

* * * *

Not even five minutes passed before she heard the sounds of footsteps. Four shock troopers marched into her home and began to methodically search for her. One of them leafed through the mail that was stacked neatly on the table, but he didn’t find what he was looking for. Kim glanced over at the microscope and smiled. They never would find it, either. She turned back to the monitor and saw that only one Visitor was coming down to check the basement.

She watched the Visitor search the basement for her. Her hands moved to cover a switch when he neared the wall with the entrance. She hesitated for a split second, considering her options, but the opportunity was just too good to pass up, in spite of the risks. She threw the switch for the basement lights and activated the intercom. “Hands up and don’t make a sound,” she ordered. When she saw he was complying, she opened the secret entrance. “Now step inside the door that just opened to your left.” As soon as he was inside, she closed the door and locked it. The lights in the hallway came on automatically. Kimberly turned off the basement lights and switched the intercom to the stairwell. She saw the Visitor standing tensely, waiting to see what she would do. “Holster your gun. When I open the door, come in slowly. Don’t try anything- you won’t live to see the results.” Fingers crossed, she deactivated the intercom and opened the door. She positioned herself to one side of the entrance and snatched his gun as he came in. “Sit.” She indicated a chair with his pistol. 

“You were unarmed!” he said, amazed, as he complied.

“Not anymore.” She flashed him a smile before turning back to the view screens. She kept the pistol pointed in his direction, but he made no move to attack her. They both watched as the soldiers came down into the basement to try to find their missing comrade. Finally, they gave up. 

“Another turncoat,” one of them commented. “It’s no use, he’s long gone by now.” 

Kim turned to the Visitor who sat watching her. “That door is the only way out. It won’t open unless the proper code is punched up on the panel next to it. If you kill me, you will never get out of here alive. You’ll die of old age before you figure out the correct sequence. You can’t blow a hole through it...the walls are very thick and behind them are a few tons of solid dirt. It’s in your own best interests to refrain from injuring me. I die; you die. I’d keep it in mind, if I were you.” As she spoke, she pulled another chair around to face him and sat down.

“Well, I suppose you are wondering why I dragged you in here. Why not just stay hidden and wait for all of you to leave? Simple. I need information. What’s your name?” she asked him, her expression finally softening.

“Philip.”

“I’m Kimberly. I’m sorry you’re stuck down here with me, but I had no choice. You were the first one down the stairs and you were alone. You’re a victim of circumstances.” She noticed that he was still very tense, ready for anything she might do. “Relax, I have no intention of torturing or killing you.”

“Until you have what you want,” he replied tersely.

“No. I can give you a drug that will knock you out for a few hours. I’ll leave the door open when I leave. By the time you wake up, I’ll be long gone and you will be free to go. I mean you no harm.” She stood up and held his pistol out to him. Philip looked first at the weapon, then at her, not believing she was giving it back. 

“What are you going to do? Take the gun, I don’t have any use for it.”

He finally took the weapon from her and holstered it. “You are unlike any others I have met.”

“I prefer intellect to brute force. Logic would indicate that people who can figure out how to cross eight point seven light years of space are intelligent enough to be reasoned with, especially if they have no choice.” She smiled at him and continued. “I don’t think you will be too miserable here. Back there is a place for you to sleep. Beyond that is the bathroom.” Kim indicated a door behind him. “Look around if you want. Through the other door is the kitchen, if you can call it that. There’s plenty to eat; help yourself when you’re hungry.”

“What do you want?” he asked, steering the conversation away from food. 

Kimberly noticed he was beginning to relax and resumed her analysis. “Information. I’m looking for any exploitable weakness I can find. I don’t care if it’s social, genetic, biological, or political. I suspect that the weakness is linked to science, since scientists are the main target. But I can’t just sit back and do nothing. I don’t like what I see happening. Whole towns have been disappearing. Overpopulation has been a problem, but I get nervous when thousands of people disappear without a trace. I’d like to know where they are going, and why they are going there.” She bent over the microscope and focused the image.

“What else do you know?”

“I know that this is the strangest skin sample I have EVER seen. No cell structures. Not a cell to be found. I would say this is plastic.” She looked up and continued, “I know that insects never bother with you guys. Your body temperature is really screwed up. I’m sweating, you’re not. And at the mention of food, you changed the subject. 

“Finally, the way you look. You appear to be just like us, right down to racial variation like we have here. African, European, Asian, Hispanic...the probability of two planets producing dominant life forms that are so REMARKABLY similar is so unlikely that I find it impossible to believe. My guess is that, physically, you aren’t like the people of Earth at all. That’s what I know.” Her chin lifted defiantly. “How am I doing?”

Philip met her gaze but didn’t reply. Kimberly noticed that he seemed to want to be somewhere else, anywhere else, as long as it wasn’t here.

“That’s what I thought.” She smiled ruefully before looking into the microscope again. “So why are whole towns vanishing off of the map? Where is everyone being taken?” Kim prodded, getting up to get a vial of dye. 

Making a decision, he answered truthfully.

“I don’t know for sure. At first, we were told that certain people were part of the conspiracy, but recently I have seen children taken too. I’ve started to wonder if we’re being lied to. In the beginning, we were told to interact with humans as much as possible; we have had fewer and fewer chances to do that recently.” Fascinated, he watched her put dye on the sample and return the slide to the platform.

“Where are they being taken to?”

“Up to the ship. I have heard rumors that they are being placed in storage.”

“Storage? Why? And why are children being taken? Are they even giving a reason anymore?”

“We were always told they were part of the conspiracy. Anyone that questioned that was....silenced.”

“Conspiracy, my eye! I know some of the scientists who were accused...the whole thing smells like a set-up to me. That so-called evidence was planted. I suppose I’m one of the conspirators, too?” 

Philip nodded. “That’s what we were told.”

“Someone told you wrong.”

“Then why...”

“Did I drag you down here? Because they took my brother. He is the only family I have and I want him back. Now I know where to start looking.”

“You would never make it up to the ship. Security is becoming increasingly tight.” He tried to discourage her. Perhaps when she realized how hopeless it all was, she would give up and let him go.

“What’s the story on this chemical that is being manufactured? What do you need it for?” She abruptly changed the subject again, seeming to flit from one topic to the next. Philip was slightly startled by her abrupt manner and didn’t realize that was exactly the intended effect.

“We don’t need a chemical; we need water. Our planet doesn’t have huge oceans like yours does. The water we do have is scarce and polluted. Our environment is in worse condition than yours; we had several natural disasters recently. Many people have died of starvation and thirst. I don’t know why they are manufacturing a chemical when we really need water. It doesn’t make sense.” Philip answered without hesitation. Telling her the little he knew could scarcely be considered a betrayal of his people. Especially if it satisfied her curiosity and convinced her to release him.

Kim thought for a moment, forgetting the skin sample completely. “Unless....that chemical deal is just a smoke screen. They said on the news that vast amounts of water are needed to manufacture the chemical. Maybe they are just pretending to be manufacturing something to cover the fact they are really stealing the water. Is that possible?” She looked over at him.

“I guess so. I haven’t heard anything like that, but they don’t tell us much of anything.”

“Heil, Hitler,” Kim said to no one in particular.

“What?”

“Nothing. I was just talking to myself. This whole thing seems to be a repeat performance of Nazi Germany in our World War II. I don’t like it.” She yawned, the fatigue finally reaching her. She got up and turned out most of the lights, then sat down at her computer. “There’s a bed back there for you. If you aren’t tired, there are a lot of books to read and a TV over there. Do what you want.”

Philip looked at her, but she was turned away from him. Unsure if he should reply to her comment, he remained silent. Quietly, he went to see where he could lie down.

The bedroom was small but comfortable, he noted. After removing his boots and sidearm, he turned out the lights and stretched out on the bed. He was tired but knew that he wouldn’t sleep; he had too much to think about. Still, being alone was preferable to being in the same room with her. While she hadn’t harmed him, she had made it clear that he would not be allowed to leave. He resigned himself to a long, sleepless night.

Kim’s hypothesis about the water bothered him. She had given voice to thoughts he had dared not harbor before. Now, all of his hidden fears came forward. He was forced to admit that they were all definitely being lied to.

On the ship, his long-time friend had mentioned that he was unsure of the real reason for the mission. Jim had said he was going to ask around to see if he could uncover the truth. Philip didn’t see him for many days after that. Then, Jim came into the rec-hall one day, spouting all of the propaganda lies he had previously questioned. Even with his human contacts, his eyes had the glazed look of the converted. Stripped of his will, Jim was now the puppet of the unseen enemy.

After that incident, Philip had just followed orders, trying not to think about anything. Thinking was dangerous. But now, he was forced to face the truth head on. What bothered him was what he was going to do now.

Gnawing hunger interrupted his thoughts. He hadn’t eaten since that morning. Glancing at the clock on the dresser, he saw that it was the middle of the night. Perhaps he could get past the woman without waking her and get something to eat. He knew he would be unable to hide his true nature from her forever, but he wanted to decide how much to tell her before he answered any more questions. He turned on the light beside the bed and slipped quietly past the woman. She appeared to be sleeping soundly on the small cot he had sat beside earlier.

He froze in his tracks when he neared the cages. At his approach, the animals panicked and paced their cages in fear. Quickly, he snatched a large rat and broke its neck as he backed away from the terrified rodents. At that moment, Kim began to thrash around in her sleep. Philip swallowed his meal, hoping she wouldn’t wake up.

Kim struggled, to no avail. Restraints held her spread-eagled and upright against the wall, forcing her to watch Diana....who was on the table behind her? Andrew? “NO!” she screamed, but there was no sound. Diana looked at her and smiled, standing over her brother’s unconscious body. She snapped her fingers and a knife appeared in her hand. With the skill of a surgeon, she carved a strip of flesh out of Andrew’s thigh. Blood spurted from the wound.

Diana looked at Kim and smiled again as she lifted the blood-covered flesh to her mouth and swallowed it. “NO!” Kim tried to scream again. “You’re killing him! You’re eating my brother!” She struggled endlessly in her hysteria as Diana cut another piece of flesh.

Andrew moaned and woke up. Turning his head, he looked at Kim before slipping back into blissful unconsciousness. The look in his eyes... Kim fell silent, ceasing to struggle. Her brother...the only family she had left. Kim sunk limply into her bonds.

Diana remained silent, smiling. She walked towards Kim, holding up the bloody meat of Andrew’s body. “Hold her,” Diana said, reaching towards her.

Hands held her head and forced her clenched jaws apart. She felt something warm and wet being placed in her mouth. She struggled in vain to spit it out. The hands that had forced her jaws apart now held them together. Tears streamed down her face as she writhed in agony. She wouldn’t swallow...she wouldn’t. Someone punched her in the stomach...hit her endlessly. Against her will, she eventually accepted defeat. Will broken, her body went limp. She opened her eyes once to see Diana watching her, still smiling.

Diana went back to Andrew, lifted the knife.

 “NO!” Kim screamed, as she sat bolt upright in bed. Philip was shaking her shoulder. She forced the horror back and tried to slow her breathing.

“Are you all right?” he asked her, concerned.

“Yeah,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “Just a bad dream. Thanks for waking me up. What time is it?”

“Three.”

“God!” She flopped back down, and looked at him. “Sorry I woke you.”

Saying nothing, he went back into the bedroom. He lay there for a while longer, made his decision, then finally fell into a deep slumber.

In the lab, Kim tried to relax. The dream- it had been so real. She knew she wouldn’t sleep any more that night. The feeling that her dream was more than just another nightmare stayed with her. She puzzled over it for a while, then put it out of her mind. Eventually, the answer would come to her. She looked at the clock. Only four hours of sleep....it promised to be a long day.

Quietly, so as not to wake him, she tiptoed past the Visitor and went into the bathroom. Perhaps a hot shower would clear her head. When she came out, he was still sleeping.

After eating a sandwich, Kim started to clean the animal cages. Her thoughts rambled from one subject to another. Looking at a special breed of mice, she remembered how difficult it had been to purchase them. The supplier, a long-time friend of hers, had mentioned that the Visitors were straining the biological supply companies with their huge requests for laboratory animals. “They’ve ordered enough to feed an army!” he’d said jokingly. At the time, they had both laughed. A month later, Kim didn’t find the notion so entertaining. “What do they want you for?” she asked one of the mice as she transferred it to another cage. It scurried around and ignored her.

“I don’t think you’ll like the answer,” Philip said. Kim started at his voice. Somehow, she had missed hearing him get up. 

“Maybe not. I’ll take that chance.”

* * * *

Some time later, Philip looked up from a book he had selected and watch her. She was turned away from him, but he could see her put a needle in her arm. Red fluid filled the syringe. He wondered why she was drawing her own blood. When she was done, she got another syringe out.

She turned to him, “Would you mind if I took a sample of your blood?”

“What if I do?”

“Then I won’t,” she replied evenly, and laid down the syringe. She tried to hide any signs of disappointment and turned her attention to bandaging her own arm. It was frustrating, but his refusal was hardly a surprise. Would she cooperate, if the situation were reversed? Probably not, she admitted. Still, she refused to force him. It was bad enough to be guilty of kidnapping. She couldn’t add torture to that, at least not yet.

“No, I don’t mind.” He set the book aside and started to roll up the sleeve of his uniform. 

Kim didn’t believe her ears. He’d agreed? Trying to hide the surprise that had replaced her disappointment, she picked up the syringe and walked over to him. 

Before she even inspected his arm to find a suitable vein he held up his hand. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong? And what did you mean earlier when you said I won’t like the answer?” Her manner was still friendly, but her curiosity would not be denied.

“Sit down. You have trusted me, now I’m going to trust you. If my people ever discover that I have told you this, we would both be tortured and killed.” He paused, wanting to judge her reaction to the idea. She seemed nice enough, and she had kept her word about not harming him. Maybe she could help him figure out what was happening.

Kim cocked an eyebrow but didn’t shy away from the threat of danger. “I accept the risks. Just tell me, what’s going on?” She sat down on the stool opposite him and leaned forward, watching him intently.

He turned in the chair so he was facing her. “I think you are right about the water. It fits in with other things that have been happening.”

“Like what?”

“Have you heard of the conversion chambers?”

“No.”

“Diana developed them. Somehow, she discovered a way to take everything you were ever frightened of and make it seem real...sort of an induced dream. With time, she can strip a person of his will, turn him into a mindless robot...fiercely loyal....and willing to do whatever he is told to do. At home, the process is used on political prisoners. There is a conversion chamber on the mothership. I know someone who started asking too many questions about the mission...the next time I saw him, he was a convert. I think Diana might be using it on your people, too.”

“Then you can tell if someone’s converted? How?”

“Little things. They seem glassy-eyed, lacking any ambition. They totally support what they were previously against. And there is one obvious side effect: everyone that goes in using their right hand comes out using their left and vice-versa.”

“But why are people being converted? What is Diana trying to hide?”

“I don’t think the theft of the water is the only reason for the conversions. There is more to this than either of us know.”

“But you still know more than I do.”

“Yes, but I will tell you because I do want to help you. We must find a way to stop this before it’s too late.” He hesitated, thinking of home and of Jim. He realized that anything he said would be regarded by his people as a betrayal of his species. But what they were doing was wrong. He took a deep breath, then plunged ahead. “You are right. We aren’t like you.” Slowly, deliberately, he took hold of the skin on his left forearm and pulled a large piece of it off, revealing the green scales of his own flesh.

“Reptilian!” Kim whispered, momentarily stunned. Her eyes widened. Scales. She got up and paced the room, ignoring him for the time being. Reptilian...and they were hiding it. As she walked, she thought out loud, ticking off items on her fingers as she figured things out. Fragmented facts were crashing together. After all of this time, things were beginning to fit together and make sense. “That’s why the scientists are being taken. They’re afraid we’ll figure it out. So they designed the conspiracy and made us the scapegoat for everything they are doing. They wanted to undermine whatever trust people had. That registration was to make sure they didn’t miss anyone!”

Reptilian! Her mind reeled. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, so much she wanted to know. What had their evolution been like? Did they have DNA, or some other chemical equivalent?

Philip watched her with surprise. He had been warned about how the humans would react if they discovered the true nature of the alien invaders. He had braced himself for her revulsion. She didn’t seem upset at all by the sight of his real skin, only by the reasons for the conspiracy.

Kim stopped pacing and looked at him. There was no revulsion in her eyes, only an intense curiosity. “Am I right?” she demanded in a gentle voice. “Is that why scientists were the first target?”

He met her gaze evenly, hiding nothing. “I would assume. But I was never actually told that.”

“I’m not surprised,” she murmured as she resumed her pacing. “But why all of the coy disguises in the first place? Why not just tell the truth in the beginning? And why are families and towns being kidnapped? There has to be something deeper, something they don’t want anyone to know about. It’s more than just the water...”

“I agree, but I don’t know what it is. Asking Diana questions is dangerous.” He rolled his sleeve up past his elbow.

“Then she has to be hiding something. She wouldn’t convert her own subordinates unless she had something to hide. We just have to figure out what it is.” Kim stopped when she realized he was watching her intently. “What?”

Philip shook his head and smiled. “I don’t understand you.”

“What don’t you understand?” She smiled back at him and sat down on the stool again.

“I heard lecture after lecture about how humans would react if they found out about us. Diana said you would all become hysterical and stop cooperating. But you...”

Kim laughed, understanding his puzzlement. “Why should I be hysterical? It’s fascinating. Besides, I’m a scientist- I’ve been trained to have an open mind. Now, I admit, a lot of people might react adversely at first, but they’d come around eventually if they were given a chance. But hey, if you want me to, I’ll scream.” She smiled again, teasing him. She sensed his tension.

“That’s okay,” he said, smiling back at her, and seemed to relax a little bit.

“So, what do you eat? Rodents?” Kim asked him, finally bringing up the topic he had avoided the most.

Unconsciously, Philip stiffened. He still didn’t trust her reaction to him. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Kim told him. Noticing his unease, she continued. “I suppose you haven’t eaten because you were afraid of how I’d react to that, too?” she gently prodded.

Philip nodded slowly, his expression still guarded.

“If you’re hungry, eat!” She stood up and took his hand, pulling him to his feet before he could protest. “You must be starving by now.” She looked up at him. She hadn’t realized it before, but at a height of six feet, he was the tallest Visitor she had met. She was only four inches shorter, but had grown accustomed to being at or above eye level with most of the Visitors she had encountered.

“It doesn’t bother you?” His brown eyes were still filled with uncertainty. Kim was unlike any person he had ever known.

“Not as long as I don’t have to eat it. Now go on!” She pushed him towards the cages.

Still he protested. “What about the blood sample you wanted?”

“It can wait.” She grinned. “You’re out of excuses.”

“I know.” Ill at ease, he walked towards the rodents, trying to pretend she wasn’t there. He snatched a large hamster from a cage, wanting to finish his meal as fast as he could. Before he swallowed it, he sneaked a glance over his shoulder to see if she was watching. Her back was towards him as she bent over the microscope. It was as if she sensed his discomfiture and wanted to make it easier for him. He suspected that was indeed the case.

“Where’s a good place to draw blood?” She turned away from the microscope and picked up the syringe when he came up behind her.

“I’ll show you,” he said, putting his arm on the lab table, palm up. He peeled more of the synthetic human skin off, leaving the inside of his forearm bare from the wrist to the elbow. “There. Do you see it? I don’t remember your word.” He traced the dark line of the blood vessel with a calcium carbonate fingernail.

“Vein. I see it.” Carefully, she selected where to puncture the blood vessel. Once decided, she deftly pierced his thick flesh and vein on the first attempt.

Green fluid flowed into the syringe and quickly filled the chamber. She removed the needle and pressed the wound with cotton to halt the flow of blood. “Hold that until it stops bleeding.”

Carefully, she changed her gloves and then prepared a small amount of the blood and looked at the image the microscope offered her. “Awesome!” she whispered; her eyes were wide. Several types of cells came into view. She sketched several, frequently swapping the slide with one of her own blood to compare her observations against. Without intending to ignore him, she became engrossed in her findings. Her mind raced through possibilities as she began to conduct a chemical analysis. But her excitement at new understandings was tempered with the realization that only luck would lead her to something useful. 

Philip, having no scientific training, quickly lost interest in watching her and resumed reading. Now that was interesting. Most of the books she had were either highly technical manuals and textbooks, or science fiction stories. He had chosen one of the latter out of simple curiosity and found himself completely engrossed in the wild adventures of the fictional characters.

* * * *

Several hours passed before Kimberly even looked at the clock. She was startled to discover that she had worked for eight hours without even pausing to get something to eat. She gulped down a sandwich without even tasting it. Something was nagging at her subconscious and the feeling of foreboding she had felt after her nightmare was stronger then ever. The answers to the Visitors’ mission were staring her in the face, but she was blind to the truth. Hunger and lack of sleep had made her temper short; she hoped she wouldn’t have a personality conflict with Philip-- it would make life miserable for both of them. 

Wordlessly, she resumed her work with his blood. She labored for another hour when it hit her. “My God!” she exclaimed, looking up from the test tubes to stare at the photo of Andrew. The blood drained from her face and she shivered.

The sound of her voice after hours of silence startled Philip back to reality. He glanced up and saw the unmistakable look of utter horror on her face. “What?”

Kim put the pipette she was holding down on the counter. Her hands were trembling so violently she didn’t trust herself to hold it. “During your time on Earth, have you heard any of your people mention eating long pig?” She didn’t look at him; she couldn’t. If he had partaken, how would she handle it?

He thought a moment before answering. “Now that you mention it, I remember hearing someone say that she’d tried it.”

“Have you had it?” The nausea she felt was overwhelming. She could taste it in her mouth.

“No. What is it?”

Kim slowly turned to look at him. “Human.”

His look of horror matched her own.

Kim nodded. “I think that’s why people are being kidnapped and stored on the ships. You said many of your people have died of starvation-- the ships are stocking up on food and water to take home.”

“But I would never knowingly...you’re an intelligent species...that’s practically cannibalism!”

“I’m not saying you would. But can you say the same thing about Diana? Or your Leader? They have to have planned the whole operation.” While she spoke, she alternated between looking at him and turning unfocused eyes to the area in front of her. “It’s possible that only a very few of your commanding officers know the real reason you’re here. On Sirius, there could be propagandizing going on to convince your people we aren’t intelligent.” She turned on her stool so she was facing him squarely. “Have there been any seminars or briefings regarding human behavior and intelligence?”

“Some. None were favorable,” he admitted. It seemed so obvious, now that he thought about it.

“The same thing could be occurring in the sections of the ships that are involved with the actual storage process. Anyone who finds out the truth and protests could easily be converted like your friend was. Can you think of another explanation for what’s going on?”

“I wish I could.” His stomach was in knots. To think that humans were being harvested as food!

“So do I,” Kim said wistfully. The color was returning to her cheeks, but her horror was not diminished.

“What are you going to do now?” If her theory was correct, Philip knew she wouldn’t look kindly on his own existence.

“Oh, I don’t blame you personally; it’s not your fault!” she hastened to reassure him, following his thought process.

Immediately he relaxed. It was a relief to know that she really didn’t hold him responsible. “If what you say is correct, there’s no way to stop it. Diana is too feared for a rebellion to form among the ranks...who would know the truth anyway?”

“There has to be a way to stop it. I can’t believe that no one would rebel. Americans aren’t accustomed to martial law; maybe underground rebel groups are forming somewhere.”

“Even so, there is no way to unite them. The motherships are in control of all communications systems. How can we fight that kind of control?”

“We? You mean you’ll help me?”

“Yes. If you’re right..... then I have to. What do you plan on doing?”

“I don’t know, yet. But there’s got to be a way to save your world without killing mine. We have ice at the poles that isn’t doing anyone any good and animals that we’ve always considered to be pests because they breed so rapidly. Surely something can be worked out. But first, we have to think of a way to overthrow John and Diana.”

“That’s impossible.”

“What can be lost by trying? The only problem is how to do it.” She laughed nervously. “I can’t believe this is happening. It reads like something out of my science fiction books!”

 “The first thing to do is find out if there really are small groups of rebels like you think there might be. You can’t organize them if you don’t have them. Were would they be hiding?”

“In basements of houses, abandoned buildings...they could be anywhere if they are there at all. Maybe everyone is believing what Kristine Walsh is telling them.” She yawned and continued. “We need to come up with as many ideas as we can.” She ripped a fresh page of paper from deep within her tablet, then set it aside as her timer beeped. She turned back to her test tubes and transferred some liquids from bottles into the tubes where she had earlier placed small samples of blood. Then she put a solid rectangle in a container of fluid, and carefully transferred the blood samples into holes in the rectangle. When she was done with that, she connected the unit to what appeared to be a power supply. She repeated the entire process a second time with a second unit.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he finally spoke. “What are you doing?”

“Comparing my cell contents to yours. The process I’m going to use is a Southern Blot, but I haven’t actually gotten to that step yet. This may not work at all, but it can’t hurt to try. Depends on how similar my DNA is to whatever is in your cells.” Kim smiled, seeing his confusion at her technical jargon, even though she had reduced her explanation to the simplest terms she could think of. “It will be easier to explain when I’m done, then I can show you.”

She set her timer, then checked the units one more time, nodding to herself. 

* * * *

It was well after midnight when the experiment was done and she could peek at the results. Kim yawned, fighting off the urge to sleep. As long as it had taken, this was nothing compared to the old method of blotting that took three days. “But the hours are no better then they were in grad school,” she mumbled to herself.

“Hot damn!” She straightened up, suddenly energized. Philip glanced up at her, wondering if she was still going to show him what she had been trying to explain. Absently, she waved him over. “Take a look.”

She grinned when he looked blankly at three green spots on the nylon sheet she was pointing to. “Don’t look so impressed,” she couldn’t resist teasing. She picked up a pencil and pointed. “This lane is where I loaded my DNA. You can see it’s bright green. That’s because I took another DNA sample and put a bright green tag on it; it’s called a probe. When it matches perfectly, it sticks together. The brighter the spot, the better the match, because there is more probe sticking.” 

She glanced up at him and he nodded that he understood.

“This lane is mouse DNA, courtesy of our little friends back there. I just threw that in as a control. You can see it’s not quite as bright. This is bacterial DNA. It’s even dimmer, but there is a faint band. That means it’s a lot different. Then this last lane is your DNA. Not as faint as the others, not as bright as mine.”

She moved to the other membrane and pointed. “Now, this one has all of the same samples, but the probe was different. The first one was all probed with my DNA. This one with yours. In both cases you see the same pattern. No matter what the probe is, they all show up, but with different intensities, just like you’d expect with different DNA samples.”

Kim could hardly contain her excitement at the finding. “And THAT means we are made of the same genetic stuff, at least at a basic level. I wonder what your planet’s evolutionary history is....” she muttered idly, her mind racing at the possibilities. She shook her head and grinned. “It’s no wonder they are going after the scientists. They don’t want anyone else finding out these dirty little secrets. They don’t realize it’s already too late. And those membranes won’t end their campaign, but it gives me a starting point in finding out just how many secrets they are keeping.”

“Good.”

“Damn right, it’s good. It’s even better than good!” Kim suppressed another yawn. “And I learned a long time ago that good results at the end of a long day mean it’s time to quit for awhile. If we don’t get some sleep, we’re both going to keel over where we are. You look about as tired as I feel. I think I’ll think a lot better when I’m awake.”

He stood and nodded, then paused, remembering their earlier conversation. “I just hope I can.” Philip felt the same lack of tension she did. Suddenly, their differences no longer mattered. Somewhere in the conversations of the day, fear and mistrust had been replaced by teamwork and the foundations of friendship. 

“I know what you mean.”

* * * *

Kim slept for less than an hour before she woke with a start. The idea was ludicrous! She wouldn’t even consider it; it was too crazy. But try as she might, she couldn’t shake the notion. Instead, her mind came up with possible methods of doing it. Could she pull it off? Kim shook her head in amazement at her own insanity and got out of bed to work on it. If she didn’t think it through and write out the ideas, she’d never get any rest.

* * * *

Philip waited an hour, then got up. By now, she would certainly be asleep and he would be able to eat alone. He opened the door to the room he had been resting in and was surprised to find her working again. “I thought you were going to sleep.” Electing to postpone eating since she was awake, he saw she had a glass of water sitting next to her and decided to ward off his growing hunger that way. “Where do you keep those?”

“Back there in the cupboard, second door on the left.” She pointed. “I did sleep. But my imagination went into overdrive. I have an idea that’s so absurd it just might work. What do you think about my disguising myself as one of you and infiltrating the mothership?” she asked him while he got himself a drink.

Philip did a double-take, stood stunned, and finally regained his voice. “That’s crazy, and impossible.”

“I’m not so sure. You guys did it. Most people are still being fooled. I could do a lot more up there than I can down here. If there are any rebel groups, surely Diana knows about them. I could undermine her efforts to stop them, maybe even put them in contact with each other.”

“You’re assuming you can infiltrate. There is no way you could even get to that point,” he challenged her.

“I didn’t say it would be easy. But the sheer absurdity of the idea would help protect me. Who would suspect that anyone would try something like that?”

“The first time you said something, they would know you were a human. And what would you eat?”

“I’d eat what everyone else eats.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Philip laughed, “I can’t imagine that!”

“I’m trying not to. But if I had to, I think I could. At least some of it.”

“You really think so?” he asked, becoming serious again.

Kim nodded, ignoring her nausea.

“If you can, then it might work. But that’s not the only difference you would have to overcome.” He rubbed his eyes, trying to abate the soreness. Those miserable contacts! It was bad enough that he had to wear them all the time, but the way they reduced his field of vision by a third was too much for him to bear cheerfully.

“I know. But for me, that will be the hardest one. We should make a list. Then we can tackle them one by one.”

“You’re really going to do it?”

“If you have a better idea, now’s the time.”

He looked at her sympathetically, but stayed silent.

Kim sighed. “I don’t know if it will work. But thinking about it can’t hurt. We’d better make that list. I should probably have a double disguise. That way I’ll look like any other Visitor disguised as a human. And the Visitor disguise should be so complete that I could even go without the human skin if the situation called for it.”

She noticed he was rubbing his eyes again. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

“They’re just sore from the contacts-- it’s nothing new. I don’t suppose you have eye drops?”

“I know all about that: Andy had contacts.” Has contacts, she corrected herself mentally. “I have something better than eye drops,” she said, getting up. She got something out of a drawer and handed it to him. “If you take them out, they won’t bother you at all.”

He looked at the case, then took it from her. “If Diana knew....”

“I’d love to tell her someday just to watch her reaction!”

He allowed himself a smile, mimicking her facial expression, and took the case from her. She went back to her work while he took the contacts out. His field of vision expanded, and though the light was brighter than he preferred, he reveled in it. It didn’t take long for him to decide not to suffer like that again until he left the confines of the lab.

Kim moved closer and peered up at him intently. “You have pretty eyes.”

“Thank you. Put it on the list.” Nothing seemed to upset her equilibrium, he realized with wonder. But how would she handle eating mice?

“Right.” Kim seated herself at the computer and began to type. “Let’s see, finding a way I can eat that garbage is a definite priority. You already mentioned my voice...and a way to duplicate your skin....”

“Your body heat,” Philip added.

“Only if someone touches me.”

“Wrong. Anyone who even gets close to you will know you’re warm-blooded.”

“Neat!” Kim added it to the list.

They were both silent for a few minutes, racking their brains for traits he had that she didn’t. Philip paced, trying to remember his early training on human physiology. Unconsciously, he flicked his tongue as he thought. Kim saw it.

“Your tongue.”

“What?” He snapped out of his reverie and looked at her.

“Your tongue.”

“What’s wrong with it?” He looked blankly at her, still lost in his own thoughts.

“It ain’t like mine,” Kim said pseudo-seriously before she stuck her tongue out to show him.

“Obviously,” he bantered, abandoning his pacing. He sat down and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in a very human-like gesture. 

Kim stared at him, trying to imagine any hidden differences. “Are those your real teeth?” she ventured. No carnivore would have omnivore teeth!

Philip didn’t even bother to look up. “No. You humans don’t have venom, do you?”

“No,” Kim answered, typing it in. She needed a cadaver to examine!

“I can’t think of anything else right now,” he said as he walked over to the cages. He paused and thought for a moment before adding, “I suspect this will be a rather interesting experience for you.” Then he took a rodent out and swallowed it. She’d better get used to seeing it. Before long, she would be doing it herself.

“It already is interesting.” Kim yawned. “And maybe now that I have the ideas down, I can convince my busy little brain to be quiet and let me sleep.” For the first time in four months, she felt hopeful about the future.

* * * *

Philip wakened to find Kim kneeling by the bookshelves holding a small light. Periodically, she would select one of the volumes and add it to the growing pile beside her. She was obviously making every effort to be quiet, so he pretended to be asleep until she left.

When he was alone, he checked his chronometer and realized it was still early in the morning. How long could she keep up the pace before it broke her? He was startled by that thought. How had his attitude changed so quickly to trust and concern? He shrugged his shoulders. The last several days had been too bizarre for words. Trusting that she would wake him if she needed anything, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

* * * *

Kim poured herself another cup of coffee and reached for the next book in the stack. Finding out what the differences were was easy. Finding a way to change her body to make it act like a Visitor’s was the hard part. She glanced at the list and sighed. Textbooks were not enough. Already she had gained a general idea of how she was going to compensate for each of the differences. The problems lay in the practicality of the details. Unfortunately, all of her research pointed in one direction. Kim set her jaw in determination and resumed reading. There had to be another way.

* * * *

When Philip finally got up, she was still reading and taking notes-- with growing frustration. “Is there any way I can help?” he offered.

She looked up at him appreciatively and smiled. “Thanks, but I’m pretty much on my own for this part. Why don’t you finish that book you were reading yesterday? You seemed to be enjoying it. It’s one of my favorites.”

“I think I will.” He went to get it. Reaching for it, he thought once again of how badly he wanted to take the horrid plastic off of his body. His hands especially bothered him. Simple tasks like turning the pages of the book seemed more difficult when he had the pseudoskin to contend with. He fingered the plastic thoughtfully. Did he dare? What harm could it do? He had already done more than enough to ensure a visit to the conversion chambers upon his return. One more infraction of Diana’s rigid mandates couldn’t possibly worsen his fate.

Pleased at his own daring, he slowly and deliberately pierced the human casing at the elbow, loosened it from his fingers, and slipped it off of his right arm like a glove. Then he repeated the process for the plastic that still clung to his left arm. It was only a small part of his body that was free, but it felt wonderful. He wasn’t even concerned about Kim’s reaction; it didn’t matter. With a private smile, he picked up the book and settled down to read. And if she noticed his hands, she didn’t comment.

* * * *

Nightfall found Kim still plowing through textbooks, searching for answers. Philip had finally given in to his own fatigue and gone to bed. Kim waited impatiently for him to fall asleep. Then she went into action. 

Quietly, she wrote a letter to Judy and told her that she would no longer be in contact. She was going deep underground until the danger was over, although she might call if she got in a sticky situation and needed help she could not otherwise obtain. Then she checked once again on Philip, took his gun, put on a jacket and left the lab, leaving the door open behind her. A part of her was afraid to trust him, but she couldn’t take the chance of getting killed and leaving him locked in what would be his grave, if he couldn’t figure a way out. Even though it was the greater danger, her conscience wouldn’t let her risk that.

Stealthily, she crept through the shadows of her home and made her way to the kitchen. Along with the mail, she found a cookie tin full of Judy’s handiwork. She set it by the door to the basement to take down with her later. First, she had something to do. She slipped her own letter into the pile of mail. Judy would surely find it.

With a deep breath and a prayer, she opened the back door and went outside. When she reached the front yard, she froze in horror. Her neighborhood had been attacked, but the lights in various houses indicated that people remained. Perhaps it was only a token battle. The smell of smoke assailed her nostrils and she almost screamed when she tripped over a Visitor body. Unfortunately, it was just what she had been looking for. She turned over the corpse and saw that the female had died of a single gun shot and very little blood. Her body was still pliable; she hadn’t been dead long.

Nervously, she looked around, terrified that she was being watched. No, everything was quiet. Fighting nausea, Kim picked up the body and made her way back to the house, stumbling under the burden. A few more minutes and she would be safe.

* * * *

Philip woke up with a start. Something was wrong. He got up and went into the lab, only to find Kim gone and the door ajar. What had happened? Surely he would have heard if there had been a struggle. Evidently she had gone out to get something but didn’t completely trust him to stay behind and had waited for him to go to sleep. Yet the door was open. Was she afraid that she wouldn’t make it back? Feeling uneasy, he went back to bed so she wouldn’t know he had been up. Philip knew he wouldn’t sleep until he was sure she was safe. That she had been captured and would reveal him as a traitor was too horrible to contemplate. Diana would torture him until he told her everything, and then torture him for the fun of watching him die in agony. No, he wouldn’t let himself think about that possibility.

Soon, he heard footsteps, slow and hesitant. He reached for his gun, discovered it was missing, then lay still. Her silhouette appeared in the doorway and he immediately relaxed. He considered asking her where she had gone, but decided against it. It would be too easy to lose perspective on the situation. They were allies, not friends. While he faked being asleep, she returned his gun to where he had placed it, and slipped out of the room.

* * * *

Kim exerted the last of her strength and put the Visitor onto a dissecting cart. She checked on Philip and found him still sleeping. With a sigh of relief, she locked the door and washed her hands. The night had just begun.

She stripped the body and saved the uniform. She and the Visitor were about the same height and build; maybe the uniform would fit. Grimly, she slid her hands under the pseudoskin, braced herself, and pulled the mask off of the Visitor’s head. She stood stunned. Intricate patterns of scales covered her face and the head was crested. In her own way, she was really quite attractive, not unlike the reptiles of Earth. Kim tried to imagine how Philip looked under his human mask and was surprised to discover that she could indeed picture how his face might look.

She removed the contacts and the dentures, then put them in containers in a cupboard. She hoped Philip would sleep a long time. This was not going to be pleasant. She idly wondered if there were taboos in his culture regarding autopsies and dissections of the deceased. It wasn’t her favorite laboratory activity, either. But it was the only way to get the information she needed on basic Visitor physiology, short of killing Philip and using him as a model. Kim shook her head. As difficult as this was going to be, she could justify it. “No different than medical school, Kim,” she muttered to herself. “Just another day at the office. Kidnap a soldier, steal another for a body, spend the night dissecting aliens... just another normal day.”

Kim took a deep breath and picked up a scalpel. Deliberately, she cut into the flesh and began to trace the path of digestion, taking samples and readings as she went. Her stomach lurched threateningly when she found the remains of the Visitor’s last meal. She had dissected animals before, and even examined the contents of their stomachs. But seeing it in these circumstances drove home the point that she would be eating a lot of raw meat. “Great. Had to be carnivores, couldn’t be herbivores. No. That would be too easy. Eat a few vegetables, munch a few trees... that would be too easy. No, I get to pretend I love rats.” She looked up, her eyes focusing on another image. “I bet they eat lots of grubs and other insects, too. Just my luck. I was grossed out by the book “How to Eat Fried Worms” in grade school, and as payback, God has decided I need to eat raw worms instead.” Her eyes looked heavenward. “I do NOT find this to be funny!” 

Her hair fell into her eyes, and she brushed it away with her forearm, being careful not to use her gloved hands. “I hope you are enjoying the irony, Sir, because I am not amused. And yes, you should know by now I always talk to you in that tone of voice when I’ve been up this late. You made me human, deal with it!”

Kim grinned at her belligerent tone. What would her minister think, hearing her talk to the Almighty like that? She’d argue that it was better than not talking to Him at all. Surely, He could tell when she was joking with Him. And with all the years she had logged in a lab, He should be used to it. “It’s Your fault, You know, that I get so slap-happy when I’m tired. By morning, I’ll probably be stretched out here dissecting myself.” Kim yawned again. “If I make it that long.”

Somehow, she found the strength and kept on, working through the night and into the morning.

* * * *

Philip found her still working when he got up. One look at what she was doing told him everything that had happened the night before. She must have heard him, because she glanced up as soon as he came out.

“It’s not what you think. I didn’t kill her. She was already dead when I found her.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Do you know her?”

Philip moved closer and studied the Visitor’s face. Seeing her made him long to take off what remained of his own pseudoskin. “No, I’ve never seen her before.”

Kim watched him intently. “Look, I’m not enjoying this; I hate it. But, I don’t have any choice.”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand,” Philip said softly. He met her gaze evenly.

“I’m glad you do, ‘cause I don’t.” Kim used her wrist to brush angrily at the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “I don’t know how my life got so screwed up. I’m a scientist, not a butcher.”

“I know that. Are you finding out what you need to know?”

“I think so.”

“Then you have nothing to be upset about.”

“Thanks.” Somehow, his acceptance made it easier to continue what she was doing. She stripped off her gloves and poured herself another cup of coffee. How many had she consumed, Kim wondered idly. She had lost count long ago.

“You were up all night, weren’t you?” Philip asked. She looked haggard. Kim nodded, sipping at the bitter liquid. How she hated the stuff! But it was the only way to stay awake.

“Why don’t you stop for awhile and rest. You look terrible.”

“Gee, thanks. No, I just want to get it done and forget it ever happened. I’ll be all right.”

He changed the subject. “Has there been a lot of fighting?”

“I don’t know. It’s weird. There were a couple of houses that looked like they had been scorched by laser fire, but none of the others were touched. There were lights on in other houses, so people haven’t been taken. I didn’t see many bodies lying around. I don’t know what happened.”

“It sounds like a concentrated attack on selected people-- who fought back. Maybe rebel groups are forming.”

“Or another search for me that didn’t get very far, for reasons we don’t know.” Kim stretched and pushed the hair back from her eyes. “This is crazy! I keep hoping that this is all just a bad dream and any minute I’ll wake up in my own bed, with no invasion to turn my life into a living Hell. But I never wake up, because it’s real.” 

She avoided looking at the body for a moment, trying to forget. “Tell me, if you could be wherever you wanted to go, doing whatever you wanted to do, where would you be right now?”

“That’s easy,” he answered, his eyes taking on a distant expression. “I’d be home, on the edge of the Big Desert in the afternoon with a...friend. No problems, no pressures. And no one to bother us...” His voice trailed off. “How about you?”

“Well...Marc would be with me and we’d go horseback riding in the mountains and sleep out under the stars, swim when it got hot. God, I miss him.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Who’s Marc?”

“My fiancé...we were going to get married...raise a family together.” It hurt so much!

“What happened?”

“He died in a car accident almost a year ago. So much for those plans. Things were finally starting to get back to normal...”

“When we came,” he finished for her.

Kim nodded, then sighed as she reached for the box of gloves. At the rate she was going through them, her supply was not going to last very long. “I guess I can’t complain about life being dull,” she joked ruefully, seating herself once again beside the body.

Neither of them laughed.

* * * *

Jackie burst into the lab. “Kim! Thank God you’re all right! I have to talk to you. They’ve got Justin! I just left Jeremy with Judy. She’s worried sick about you. Have you seen Julie?” She started towards Kim, who sat facing the door, wearing a green-stained lab coat, and working over a dissection table on...something. There was a man sitting opposite her with his back to the door. The sentences that had come rapid fire moments before vanished from her mind.

Kim looked up, surprised at the interruption but unfazed by the questions. Jackie had the habit of talking fast and changing subjects mid-pulse when she was agitated. She had wondered when her old friend would make an appearance. And since Jackie was the only other person who knew the combination, the sound of footsteps a minute ago had only momentarily alarmed her. She waited for Jackie to absorb the situation.

Justin, too? Kim felt no reaction to the news, although she managed to feel alarm at her own lack of response. Somewhere between Andrew’s disappearance and her current dissection, emotional detachment had set in. 

Jackie stopped when she reached the table. She looked more closely at the man sitting beside Kim. He turned to look at her and she noticed his eyes. She let her gaze fall and saw his hands, over a body that Kim had opened for examination. It wasn’t a human body. In fact...the skin looked like the hands of the man sitting beside her. She looked at Kim, silently asking, “What the hell is going on here?”

“Hi! No, I haven’t seen your little sister for a few weeks. She and Dan broke up. That’s the last I heard from her.”

“She’s gone.” Panic crept into Jackie’s voice. “They’ve got her. I know it. She wouldn’t just leave.”

“They have Andrew, too,” Kim said quietly. Right now, she was too tired to worry about how little anger she felt. As long as she kept working, it was okay not to feel anything, wasn’t it? She stood up and stripped her gloves off before moving to the nearest sink. “Jackie, Philip.” She gestured wearily.

“Hi,” Jackie managed weakly before focusing her attention on Kim. “Kim, who are these people? What is he doing here and why are people disappearing?”

“Sit down and see for yourself.” Kim dried her hands and settled herself back on the stool. Unable to hold back a yawn, she stretched her arms over her head and waited for Jackie to assimilate what she was seeing.

 Jackie lowered herself to a stool and peered at the partly dissected body, then back at Kim. “They’re reptiles.” Jackie tried to absorb that for a minute before giving up. “So the Martians look like Godzilla. That doesn’t answer why people are disappearing.” She was very careful to avoid looking at Philip.

 “With what Philip has been able to tell me and what I’ve uncovered on my own, we think the manufactured chemical is a ploy to cover the theft of water. The scientific conspiracy is their attempt to keep their physiology secret. We think people are being taken...for food.” Kim paused when she saw Jackie’s eyes widen. “Can’t prove it, of course, but Diana is using terrorist techniques against her own people whenever anyone questions the truth of their mission here. Philip told me about a massive propaganda effort on Sirius to make us out to be cattle. Anyone who argues otherwise has been effectively silenced.”

“And him?” Jackie persisted, pointing at the Visitor sitting across from her.

“He’s helping me.”

“I see. And how did you two happen upon each other?” Jackie’s tone indicated she didn’t quite believe he volunteered for this.

Kim smiled reassuringly at him. “They took Andrew from school. I decided it was time to go underground to work. Couple days later, a few soldiers came looking for me. Philip decided it was in his own best interests to stay.”

Jackie looked at Kim, obviously not liking what she was hearing, or the fact that Philip was there.

“I trust him,” Kim tried to reassure her.

“Wonderful,” Jackie replied in a flip tone. She maintained her tense posture, ready to react to the slightest provocation. “I feel much better now. My sister Julie is missing, Andrew and Justin are missing, and now I find out I should have majored in herpetology. But that’s okay, because you trust him!”

Kim tried to steer the discussion away from Philip. “We need to organize a rebellion.”

“I know a place we can go and set up a base of operations. Now you can quit playing Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Frankenstein and we can get started.”

“What place did you have in mind?” Kim impulsively decided not to tell Jackie what her own plans were.

“Tucson, Arizona. I know someone there who has connections we can use. I left Jeremy next door. Judy agreed to keep him with her; he’s too young for this and I won’t risk him being taken like his brother was.” Jackie pulled a few worn papers out of her jacket pocket and spread them out on an available table. “Deidre already has begun rounding up support; her husband is ex-CIA.”

Kim’s eyebrows shot up at the mention of the CIA. “Friend of Ham’s?”

“How the hell should I know? We can use him. This is what he’s worked out so far.”

Kim gestured Philip over to see what had been planned. She should never have asked about Ham Tyler. What had made her think Jackie would know who Ham’s friends were? Jackie hadn’t had any contact with him for over a decade. For all they knew, he was retired from the CIA or even dead. Strange, how she felt like she knew a man she had never met. Realizing her attention was drifting, she made an effort to pay attention to what Jackie was saying.

“We’re going to try to keep the Phoenix mothership under pressure. If we can make Phoenix into a trouble zone, that should get L.A. out of the limelight. If we can get the high command divided up, maybe we can wipe them out one by one and wreak havoc with their long-term plans. Meanwhile, you and a few other scientists can work on a permanent way to get rid of them for good.” Jackie paused when she realized that, while Kim was listening politely, they weren’t ‘connecting’. “What’s wrong, Kim?”

“Nothing. I think it may work. Any resistance is better than no resistance,” Kim hedged.

Jackie got up and started to pace. 

“Jackie.... I’m not saying it’s a bad plan.”

Jackie’s eyes fell on a list Kim had tacked up on the wall over the computer. “Voice, food,” she read. Curious, she leaned closer. “Skin, contacts, human disguise over Sirian, body heat, language, tongue, venom.....” Jackie turned around, somewhat shaken. “Are you out of your mind? Kim! You CAN’T be planning on something that crazy!”

“Jackie....”

“It’s suicide.”

“I’m going up to the ship.”

“Then I am, too.”

“You just said it was suicide.”

“So is going to Arizona by myself. I’ll take my chances on the ship.”

“Jackie, you’re not going with me. I’m willing to risk myself, not you. I’m going alone.”

“You’re not going, period.”

“Jackie, be reasonable. We need help from the inside.”

“Be reasonable? Reasonable? This is coming from the same person who thinks paying Diana a social call is a great idea! How can you reason with a person who has lost her mind?”

“With a well-aimed gun. If I can get close enough, Diana will be a memory.”

“So will you.”

“There’s nothing here for me now.”

“Great. Not only am I unreasonable but I’m also a figment of my own imagination.”

“You know what I mean. I’ve had it with all of this. I want to make a difference. This is something that I can do. I’ve already decided.”

“So have I.”

Kim sighed and took another tack. “I’m not sure it’s the best use of your talents. You’re a fighter, Jackie. You can’t stand leaving even an innocent comment alone. How are you going to feel having to listen and bide your time? I know you can do it if you have to, but I’ll have an easier time keeping my mouth shut than you will.” Kim paused and ran her fingers through her hair. “Frankly, I’d feel a lot better up there if I knew that there were someone like you down here.”

“Then let’s do it,” Jackie said. 

“We have to get a uniform for you.”

“Whoa. I meant you do your thing and I’ll do mine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, damnit! Quit cross-examining me! Now, is there anything you’d like to tell me before I go?”

* * * *

Kim looked up from her workbench to see the clock. 11:30 glared at her in bright red digital numbers. She sighed in exhaustion and closed her eyes while rubbing the muscles in her neck in a futile effort to unknot them.

“What are you doing? You have been playing with that for days,” Philip asked, rounding the corner, firmly holding two struggling mice. While he watched her, it occurred to him that he was enjoying his forced vacation. But still, there was an undercurrent of prejudice against the inferior human race.

“I’m fixing my voice,” Kim answered without opening her eyes. She kept rubbing her neck.

“How?” he asked before swallowing the mice.

“Come here, I’ll show you.” She roused herself from her stupor and set aside her tools while he moved up behind her and started kneading the muscles in her aching shoulders. It was the first time he had touched her of his own volition and Kim tried to cover her surprise. “Mmmmm...that feels good. Your voice has an extra reverberation mine doesn’t have. From what I have figured out, you have a multiple vocal apparatus that I don’t. I’m trying to compensate by using this unit to magnify the signals from my nerves and make my vocal cords act like yours,” she explained, and pointed to a spot on the tiny device she had rigged.

“I’d also like to get this switch to work. If I can, I’ll be able to shut the device off. That may prove useful someday. But right now, I can’t get any of it to work.” She made an adjustment and tried it again. The nearby computer displayed the results on the screen and bleeped in a signal. “That’s it!” 

Philip dropped his hands as she suddenly became animated. She quickly disconnected the device that was no larger than a watch battery and dipped it in warm wax to set the controls. After she adjusted two other devices, she coated them too. Satisfied, she began to gather up her tools. 

“Do you think it will work?” He sat down on a nearby stool and watched her.

“Theoretically, yes, at least as far as I can tell. For real? I don’t know. I just hope I don’t lose my voice altogether. And there’s a real good chance of that happening.”

“But you’re willing to take that chance,” Philip observed. It was difficult for him to believe that she was risking so much for her brother.

“Family means everything to me. I can’t imagine growing up without that security.”

“It’s not too tough.”

“Is that the voice of experience?” Kim turned to him curiously. “Don’t you have families?”

“Not like you seem to. At home, it’s more complicated and based on genetics.”

“What’s the social structure then?”

“We have three or so basic classes like you do, but its based on offspring, not money.”

“But if crosses are based on genetics, who decides what the crosses will be?”

“There is a clinic that handles all of that. We just get notified when we’re to report. Social status is based on the results. If the offspring are deformed two consecutive times, then those people are never called to the clinic again and are granted recreational pairings only.”

“What happens to those children?”

“They are terminated.”

Kim paused a minute before pushing aside thoughts of ethnocentrism. He was just telling her what it was like, she reminded herself. “Those people comprise the lower class?”

Philip nodded and continued, “If the offspring are normal, then the parents assume responsibility for them and raise them much like you do here...but there is no emotional involvement. Supervisors make sure the children progress, but that’s it.” 

“How many children do they usually have?” This was a strange way of doing things! Yet, it was so fascinating! Here was a culture that facilitated evolution instead of halting it in its tracks.

“It depends on what the officials at the clinic decide. Usually one or two. If the children are exceptional and show above-average ability, then they are raised in special institutions and the parents have no responsibility for their upbringing. They are the ones summoned to the clinic on a regular basis-- it’s a real honor.

“Oh, one more thing I just thought of. You’d better know never to refuse sex with a commanding officer- it just isn’t done. And if you cooperate, you’ll have a chance for promotions. That may help you get enough authority to have your brother revived.”

“I see,” Kim said in an odd tone. 

Even with his limited experience with humans, Philip recognized that something was bothering her. She picked up the photo of Andrew that was on her worktable and looked at it. He noticed that her eyes were focused instead on a distant memory. Flashes of her silent battle crossed her face, only to be replaced with resignation. She put the picture down and finished cleaning up.

“Everyone on the ship has gone through this reproduction system?” She spoke so softly that he had to strain to hear her.

“Of course. But what...” He stopped abruptly when she sank slowly to the floor, leaned against the cupboards, and buried her face in her hands. What was the use of even trying to fight? She had been naive to think she could save the world.

Concerned, Philip knelt beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and he saw that her eyes were unusually wet. 

“I can’t do this. I’ll never be able to fool them.”

“Yes, you can,” Philip said with a vehemence that surprised both of them. “I’ve watched you.”

Kim looked away. “You don’t understand. Different culture here. I’ve never...” she stopped, unable to finish.

But Philip immediately understood. Though his knowledge was limited, he remembered hearing gossip-- and jokes-- about some of the more common customs. “Never?”

She shook her head, refusing to meet his gaze. “They’ll know. You can’t fake experience. I won’t last a day up there.”

“Yes, you will.” A hopeless look was in her eyes when she looked back at him. “I can show you.”

“You’d do that?”

Philip nodded. He had to help her. How could he refuse to help someone who was fighting back against such a terrible plan? How bad could it be? He would put his personal preferences aside to help her.

“Now?” she whispered faintly.

“If you want.”

Kim looked away and nodded. 

Philip stood up and pulled her to her feet. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Kim nodded mutely and went into the bedroom. She turned out the lights and pushed the door closed, finding comfort in the relative darkness. Methodically she removed her clothes, slipped into the bed, and lay there waiting for him.

She heard him shut one of the cages and assumed he was getting something else to eat. Her own stomach rumbled in hunger but threatened retaliation if she ate. Her thoughts turned, as they always did in the evening, to Marc. Tears welled up in her eyes and she sobbed quietly into her pillow.

In the lab, Philip debated with himself on how he should handle the situation. It was clear to him that Kim didn’t want to do this. He decided to just, as the humans would say, “wing it.”

He undressed and got into bed beside her. Her back was towards him. When he touched her, she jumped. “What’s wrong?” She was actually shaking.

When Kim rolled onto her back to look at him, he saw that her face was wet. “I’m scared,” she admitted.

“Why? I’m not going to hurt you.”

She smiled at him ruefully, deciding not to disillusion him on that item. “It’s just difficult for me. I’ll be okay.” She paused before continuing. “Will you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Just hold me for a little while?” Her eyes pleaded with him.

“Sure.”

She curled up next to him and put her head on his chest. He put his arm around her and started to rub her back. Almost immediately, she seemed to relax a little.

Lying there with him, Kim thought about how long it had been since anyone had touched her...held her. It made her realize just how important physical contact was to humans. Was it as important to Philip’s people?

“I’m sorry,” he said gently.

“It’s not your fault. Besides, I like you and that makes it easier for me.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“Say what?”

“I know what you must really think.”

“No, you’re wrong. I like you a lot, Philip. It’s not you; it’s me.” She tried to reassure him. They lay there for several minutes without speaking. 

Gradually, her tension faded. Philip propped himself up on an elbow and looked at her. She lay there expectantly, but her fear was very present. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I want my brother back.”

“If you change your mind...”

“Thanks, but I won’t.”

“You really must care about him.”

“Yes. I would die to save him.”

“Just because he’s your brother?”

“No, just because I love him.”

“I envy him.” He put his hand on her abdomen and felt her muscles tense. “You act like no one’s ever touched you before.”

“Not like this. I’m sorry,” Kim apologized. She covered his hand with her own, trying to reassure him that she didn’t intend to recoil at his very touch. In some corner of her brain, it finally registered that the hand she held was not a human hand. It didn’t even feel human. In fact...come to think of it...he had removed the synthetic flesh a couple of days ago, she just hadn’t noticed. How quickly perspectives could change!

“It’s okay. Roll over,” he instructed her. 

“Hmmm?” The sudden change of tactics surprised her.

“Lie on your stomach,” he said. Still she hesitated. “Trust me.”

“Okay,” she whispered, complying.

Philip knelt over her back and started massaging her shoulders. In the back of his mind, another subject demanded his attention. He had always assumed their relationship to be one of mutual fascination. But when she claimed to be attracted to him, those assumptions crumbled. He saw past events in a new light. Never had she hesitated to touch his own scaled flesh. Upon discovering his true nature, she had hardly blinked an eye. Kim had been the one who insisted he eat that first day...fully aware of his eating habits. It had been her idea for him to leave his contacts out when his eyes became irritated by the human-looking lenses. She really wasn’t revolted by him...only by what they were doing. With that realization, his attitude towards her changed profoundly. Once he had thought of her as someone to be feared, not only because of inherent inferiority of her race to his, but because of her impulsive, even reckless nature. She absolutely refused to think that she might not succeed in saving her brother. But by refusing to accept anything as impossible, she was accomplishing exactly what she said she would. 

With a shudder, Philip realized that she was his equal, maybe even his superior. Could he ever do what she was attempting? Probably not, even if he had the assistance of an entire scientific staff. He would have allowed his thinking to limit his actions. Working with equipment that was charming in its simplicity, she was doing the impossible. From her, he had learned more about his own physiology than he had ever imagined existed. After only days, he knew her better than he had known anyone, and he had told her details of his life he had told no other person. Kim probably didn’t know what his former attitude towards her had been, Philip realized. He had always been congenial on the surface; living in close proximity demanded cooperation. Now, that congeniality came from the very core of his being. The truth was, he was becoming quite fond of this human. What was happening to him?

Gradually, the tension he had sensed receded and she began to relax again. He stretched out over her and lowered his body so he was resting on top of her, his knees and forearms bearing the majority of his weight.

“What...” she questioned, becoming fearful again.

“Shhh. Trust me,” Philip told her softly. He brushed his lips across her shoulder and flicked his tongue lightly against her smooth skin.

Kim lay perfectly still beneath him. She was too anxious and uncertain to move a muscle. The warmth of her body radiated back from his flesh as he lay on top of her. Shivers rippled up and down her spine as he caressed her and she felt her own response. Suddenly, her point-of-view changed and she felt detached from her body. Robot-like, she obeyed his unspoken directives. As her mind slipped into oblivion, she realized he was murmuring something to her. She answered and did what he requested without ever knowing what was asked; then she felt nothing at all.

Philip waited as long as he could, preparing her for the inevitable. He paused once to look at her. Her eyes were closed and her fists were clenched as she fought her own impulse to flee. He asked her if she wanted him to stop, but she shook her head no, so he continued.

* * * *

When Kim regained her sense of self, he was lying quietly on top of her, stroking her hair. When she opened her eyes, he bent his head down and nuzzled her again before moving to lie beside her.

The next thing she knew, she was sobbing in his arms.

“Are you okay?” Philip felt new emotions stirring within him. He had never dreamed it would be this difficult for her.

“I will be,” she managed to say between sobs. Eventually, her turbulent emotions quieted and she became aware of his gentle efforts to comfort her. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me your name.”

“Philip.”

“No, I mean your real name.” Her voice was strong and clear. Any remaining turmoil was now hidden from him. So soon!

“Juani’dixca.”

“Juanidixca,” she repeated, trying it out. “I like that. It’s strong yet gentle. Say it again.”

“Juani’dixca. Put a stronger accent on the second syllable.”

“Juanidixca. That’s still not right, but I think it’s as close as I’m going to get right now. I guess you’re stuck with Philip.”

“I don’t mind.” His fingers toyed with a lock of her brown tresses. Such a strange feature...yet so appealing.

Kim desperately needed to get the conversation back to more neutral territory and regain her composure. She asked the first question that came to mind. “What was it like growing up? Didn’t you get close to anyone?”

“Oh, I had friends, but once we were recruited, everyone got jealous of rank.”

“Is everyone in the military?”

“No. Only those of us who were recruited for it. Others were recruited into other fields- like science or education.”

“So you can’t choose what you want to do? What if someone in education wants to be in the military?”

“If you can gain enough influence, you can sometimes switch, but that usually doesn’t happen. Diana managed it though. In fact, she was transferred almost immediately after she was assigned to ecological studies.”

“Who decides where you will go?”

“Our supervisors, the instructors.”

“Do the same social strata apply to people in the military? There aren’t children on the ships, are there?”

“No, in the military, only high-ranking officers are called to the clinic. The rest of us don’t have to go. Rank replaces the classes the civilians have.”

“What about the parents who have to raise their own offspring? Do they have to have monogamous relationships?”

“No. They are only obligated to each other when it comes to reproduction...they go to the clinic, too. All of the females get annual injections so there are no unplanned offspring produced.”

“So you don’t really have any stability in relationships. Doesn’t it bother you that no one cares about you as an individual?”

“Sometimes, but not usually.”

“Well, I care.” Impulsively she stretched up to kiss him, then lay with her head on his shoulder. In a few minutes, she was asleep.

Philip was as startled by her sudden affection as he was by his own response to it. The urge to comfort and protect her was simply overwhelming...she was so vulnerable. Yet, she had displayed incredible strength of will on numerous occasions; her determination was unparalleled. Somehow, that only made her grief all the more heartrending.

* * * *

Kim slept late into the morning without waking. She was surprised to find herself in his bed until she remembered the events of the night before. She got up quickly, trying to flee the memory, but when she reached the bathroom and turned on the light, she paused to look at him. He was sleeping peacefully on his side and the expression on his face was almost angelic. While she watched, he rolled over and she could see the powerful muscles ripple under the false skin. Her body remembered those same muscles comforting her the night before and Kim felt her heart beating faster. What was happening to her? She shook off the feeling and took a shower.

* * * *

Feeling refreshed, she dressed in a comfortable sweat suit and injected her neck with Novocain. While she waited for it to work, she braided her hair back. She knew that it was going to be several days before she felt like taking another shower. It was almost a relief that Philip was still sleeping; if he watched, she didn’t know if she would be able to go through with it. 

There’s no turning back now, she thought as she picked up a scalpel....

* * * *

She was just starting to sew up the incision on her neck when Philip got up. Tiny stitch after tiny stitch laced the edges of her broken skin back together over the tiny device that now resided on her vocal cords. He watched in horrified fascination; even to his inexperienced eye, she looked dangerously pale.

Kim seemed to be in her own world as she bandaged her wounds and hooked up the I.V. to her arm. Dazed, she stood up and fainted from the effort. Philip caught her before she fell and picked her up in his arms. She regained consciousness as he was easing her down onto his bed. She looked at him with a surprised expression.

“You’re sleeping in here. It’s more comfortable,” he told her as he gently pulled the covers up over her. Almost immediately, she fell asleep. He thought about lying down next to her, but he was afraid to jar the bed and hurt her. He settled for pulling both of the reading chairs over to the bed and stretching out in them. That way he could be nearby to help her if she needed anything. 

For Kim, time held no meaning. Every time she roused, Philip was still sitting at the foot of the bed reading or sleeping. The slightest movement wakened him and he would jump up to see what she needed. If he minded helping her to the bathroom or fetching another I.V. bag, he never let her see it. The only way she even knew time passed at all was by the chart where she recorded when she had last had medication for pain.

At first, her drugged brain didn’t care if she lived or died. But, as time went on and she no longer needed the mind-numbing painkillers left over from Andrew’s wisdom tooth removal, she began to care about the world around her. A few days (she wasn’t sure how many) after her self-performed surgery, she wakened to find Philip watching her contemplatively. Concerned for his welfare, she gestured for him to lie down beside her.

“No, I’m fine. Go back to sleep,” he said, shaking his head.

Kim glared at him and beckoned him closer. 

He sat down beside her, suddenly concerned. “What?”

Once again, she indicated he should lie down and she pulled on his arm to try to force him to comply.

“You’re stubborn,” Philip told her as he gave in to her and stretched out on the bed, savoring her warmth.

She squeezed his hand once, then went back to sleep.

Kim woke later and made her way to the bathroom. She removed the I.V. and took off the bandages, examining her neck. The incision had healed nicely and looked better than she had thought it would. Cautiously, she drank a few sips of water and smiled at her haggard reflection. For better or worse, she was on her way. 

It concerned her that her recovery had taken so long. It was minor surgery, really. There had been no reason to almost pass out, or take days to recover. Thankfully, she’d had the foresight to prepare I.V. solutions so she didn’t de